Confessions from a spankee

I haven’t talked a whole lot about the discipline part of DD yet. There is so much more to our relationship than spanking and, to be honest, I don’t do anything to deserve one all that often anyway. Adam’s hands get “twitchy” almost daily. He loves to give me a couple good smacks and I love it when he does. So many emotions happen when his hand connects with my bottom. Excitement, arousal, guilt, worry (how many more swats are coming?!). Other things I’ve felt on occasion are frustration, disappointment, and even sadness. These feelings surface when I find myself upset because Adam didn’t spank me how, when, and where I think he should have. I think I’d rather get an undeserved hard spanking than to deserve one and not get it. He doesn’t care enough to punish me. Why is this behavior only a problem when he feels like correcting it? I give up, he’s never going to get this right! In other words, he’s not doing it my way. Clearly, I have some work to do in my submission.

I know literally everyone who practices any form of DD will tell you that communication is number one. When feelings are bubbling to the surface and causing issues, talk talk and talk some more! I haven’t asked for a spanking. I’ve wished and hoped and hinted and acted out, but never just asked. To me, if I have to ask for it, it’s like asking him to buy me flowers. It loses all meaning if I have to beg, nag, or force it. Of course I understand why these thoughts need to be communicated to my husband. I’m not doing him or myself any favors keeping feelings bottled inside until I eventually explode in a fit of rage and frustration. I know I’m wrong for not just going to Adam and explaining how I feel. Let’s be real though, no one has this perfected. Any relationship is always a work in progress. We grow and our needs and desires evolve. Just like doctors practice medicine, we practice DD in our marriage and we are certainly not specialists!

3 thoughts on “Confessions from a spankee

  1. I love your blog. Keep going!
    About your thoughts here…I used to think the same (shouldn’t have to ask for a spanking… like asking for flowers…). But one day, I just did. Because I was acting out, testing, and trying to earn one, and when it didn’t happen, I lost some respect for my husband.

    And then I took a dose of my own medicine (as you said too, DD is about a lot of communication). And I said, “Sir, I’ve not treated you with the respect you deserve and that I committed to giving you. I deserve a spanking and I’d like to ask for one now. I need to have my attitude reset and respect for you restored.” And that moment was a defining, game-changing moment.

    Maybe consider something similar… if in fact you still need to have a spanking. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I know you’re right, I think I need to just communicate my feelings more clearly in the moment. I do talk to him later on, once whatever triggering event has passed. I’m not an effective communicator when I’m overly emotional. I sometimes don’t even know what’s wrong with me until I’ve had a chance to figure it out for myself, let alone be able to explain my feelings to Adam.

      Liked by 1 person

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