In our home, we recognize God as being the One who stands on the highest podium. Adam is placed on the second highest, followed by myself, on the third. I’ve realized that we hold those places based on a combination of our own desire and willingness to be there, as well as our unique abilities to keep each other “in our place”. We are accountable to one another. When I attempt to remove myself from my podium, Adam is charged with the responsibility to ensure that I remain where I belong. If Adam steps off his podium, he loses the authority he is charged with, and the respect given to him. I am in danger of jumping off of mine when he isn’t holding his place, also. I have been learning that the best way to ensure that he stays on his podium, is to remain tightly clinging to my own. When I recognize there is a real danger that he might be about to abandon his post, it is like instinct for me to want to jump from mine as well. It takes strength and sheer determination to choose not to do so. I’ve discovered that there is much benefit to this. I can both encourage my husband to either get right back up on his podium, or maybe even avoid him leaving it at all. I confirm to him my devotion to submission. Much like I “test” Adam at times to assure myself that he does “mean it”, I can show him that I, too, “mean it” when I reaffirm my desire to keep him in his role as a leader. I have a different hand in this “card game” we’re playing, but it’s still a powerful one when used correctly. I don’t spank him when he misbehaves. He still has accountability, though. It has only recently began to dawn on me that I have power, too. That I have the ability to, at least, encourage my husband to stay in his rightful place. I know I can’t force it, but I have a very large influence on his ability and willingness to stand tall on his podium. I also have the ability to discourage him in his role. To make him feel weak, powerless, and unwilling. He has never remained in those feelings for long, but my deepest fear has always been that he might give up on me.
It is a lifelong work in progress to learn how best to serve one another. We fail sometimes. We succeed often. These are my thoughts today. Life happens, we learn and grow from it, and our bond is made even stronger as a result.