Love Triangle

Southern Belle statue
Standin’ in the screen door
Watchin’ her whole world
Head for an old Ford
With a man that can’t look her in the eye

Then I run, to him
Big hug, jump in
And I cry for her
Out the window

Some mommas and daddies
Are lovin’ in a straight line
Take forever to heart
And take a long sweet ride
But some mommas and daddies
Let their heart strings tear and tangle
And some of us get stuck
In a love triangle

I have another secret to reveal. It’s not something that Adam, or anyone in my life, isn’t aware of. It’s actually a beautiful “secret”, I can finally share in my blog now. I have another child. A daughter. She is the product of the boy I left home with, as a teenager. I think I did love him, for awhile. I also clung onto that flawed relationship, because it took me away from my mother. That relationship ended, when I found the courage to leave. It was not a healthy place. It was hard, but I got myself a little two story townhouse, and I made it work, by myself. I had to. My baby, I’m finally writing about now, turned 18 years old, today. She was three and a half years old, when Adam came into our lives. He’s helped me to raise her. He’s loved her like his own. She loves him, too. Her and Adam are very close! He taught her to drive. He’s done all the “dad” things, with her. She does know her biological father. They have a long distance relationship. She talks to him, on the phone some. She visits him, sometimes. Her name is Mikayla. Mikayla is beautiful, incredibly talented, in all AP classes, and still too smart for those. She has gotten straight A’s forever. She’s a hard worker. She’s dedicated to everything she puts her mind to. She will be a Senior, in high school, this year. She wants to be an aerospace engineer. Her dream college is Georgia Tech. My baby is nearly grown.

She wrote Adam and I the sweetest letter! We got her a new stereo, for her little Chevy car. She’ll have something that plays good tunes, and has a backup camera now! I can’t describe just how amazing this kid is. We’ve literally never had to punish her. She’s never raised her voice to us. She’s never disobeyed. She’s earned our trust, and we give her all the benefits that brings. She stayed over at Justin and Jackie’s place, this last weekend.

I have chosen not to include her in this blog, until now, for a reason. This is my personal outlet. Because I’m unwilling to ever risk having to share my writing with lawyers, judges, or especially my ex, I’ve kept Mikayla out of this. No pictures. No mention of her name. I’ve written about her, as “my daughter”, before. Since we have Mj, it could easily be assumed that was who I was talking about. I haven’t had social media, for this very same reason (among others). Legally, anything I post on the internet, that included my daughter, would’ve been open to speculation, had my ex decided to pursue that option, and go to court. Although that hasn’t happened, I chose never to take that gamble. I needed to be able to write, without fear of having my thoughts and feelings violated by someone who has caused me so much pain already. I couldn’t do that. So, now I’m able to include another big piece of my life here. Mikayla has become one of my very best friends. Everyone around us comments on how close we are. I suppose we “grew up” together, in some ways.