A million thoughts in my head
Should I let my heart keep listening
‘Cause up ’til now I’ve walked the line
Nothing lost but something missing

I can’t decide
What’s wrong, what’s right
Which way should I go?

If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don’t know what I’m feeling
Is this just a dream?

~Dove Cameron

This was my brother and I’s text conversation, this afternoon…

Ain’t nobody ever love nobody
The way that I love you

I hope you understand…

I can’t believe how much it turns me on
Just to be your man

~Josh Turner

Two years ago, when Adam and I began looking to buy a new home, I gave our realtor a list of the things I wanted, and the things that were absolute musts. I wanted a fenced in yard, a fireplace, and high ceilings. I insisted on a basement, a culdesac, meaning not a home built on a busy street, and no homeowner’s association! As I’m sure has been made obvious, I don’t like to be told what to do (and not do). There are very few people I am willing to submit to, and an HOA ain’t one of them. I’ll plant whatever trees and bushes I like. We will paint our window shutters the color we choose to. Our grass will be cut how we like it. It was a bit of a challenge, finding something that met our requirements, but our realtor was able to get us into a home that had every single one of my boxes checked! Looking back, we were so very fortunate. We were able to find exactly what we wanted, at a time where locking in interest rates at 3% was available to us. Unfortunately, just a couple short years later, the quest to buy a home is a much more daunting one. Jackie really wants to buy a home near ours. I want that too! However, these cookie cutter “McMansions”, inside neighborhoods with cutsie names written in brick walls at the entrance gates, just aren’t so easily attainable. Adam and I were lucky. We happened to buy at just the right time. Since then, things have changed drastically. The fact that it’s so tough for them to get into a home they can afford is not their fault. It’s not because Adam and I are more responsible. It’s not because Justin isn’t a hard worker, making good money. It’s a game of chance, and we just so happened to land in the right spot, at the right time. I feel sad, for them. I understand completely the desires they have, to own their forever home. Justin worries that Jackie might see him as a failure, if he admits to her that he doesn’t feel it’s the right time to be buying, yet. Adam told me, the other day, about how Justin had confided in him these concerns. Bless his heart! It would truly devastate me, if Adam believed that I would ever see him as “not enough”, because he couldn’t give me everything I wanted, right when I wanted it. I don’t think Jackie would ever think that of Justin, either. Regardless, it’s how Justin is feeling about himself. It’s amazing, how these good men so fiercely desire to give the woman they love everything they could ever want. It’s such a privilege to have a man who’s not only willing, but happy, to work their butt off to provide. Their biggest complaint, is their frustration with still worrying that it’s just not enough. I’ve told Adam, I would rather live with him inside a cardboard box, than be in this big house alone. I mean that, too! The fact that we can’t always get every single thing we want, right when we decide we want it, is irrelevant. The fact that he literally lives to provide his family with all the things they could ever need or want, is worth more to me than any shiny new thing. Jackie has a man who genuinely loves her. I’m blessed with a man who does the same for me. Whether we live in a mansion on a hill, a tiny apartment, or a damn cardboard box, we have something money could never buy. We have something many people only dream of possessing. We have men who devote their entire existence to taking good care of their families. Men who sacrifice their own desires, to make ours possible. All they really require, in return, is our recognition of their efforts. I told Justin, “You’re a good man and a good provider.” He said to me, “You have no idea how much that means to me.” I believe that. Men need to hear this, from us. Our husbands need to know we see them. We appreciate them. Tell your man thank you, once in awhile. Let him know you are aware of how much he is doing for you, and for his family. He will walk around like he’s 10 foot tall and bulletproof, when he hears that from you. It’s such a simple transaction. I get a husband who will hang the moon, for me, if I ask him to. All he asks, is that I notice him. To all the husbands, fathers, and good men out there, You’re a good man. You’re a good provider. You are appreciated. ❤️

You’re beautiful, good Lord, you’re fucking beautiful
And I can’t pretend that that doesn’t mean a thing to me, to me…

~Mariah Carey

This morning, everybody felt great. Adam and my kids woke up in good moods. The littles, I’ve got here, are all feeling better. It was such an easy, breezy, beautiful start to the day. These little people just steal my heart. They’re ornery as I’ll get out, but I love ‘em. We sang some songs. Head, shoulders, knees, and toes. They showed me their tummy, and I tickled them each. They showed me their underarm, and I tickled there. They showed me their feet, and I tickled those too. After that, we sang “baby shark”. That got them all riled up, but it’s fun to see them laugh and have a good time. It’s truly my mission in life, to make positive impacts on as many children as I can. I’ve said the same prayer, for every child we’ve cared for. I pray that I can make a difference. That somewhere inside of them, their time spent with our family will create an impact that lasts forever.

It’s been very cold, here. This morning, it was below freezing. My kids had to dig their winter coats from their closets. I’m so grateful to be able to stay inside, where it’s warm and cozy!

I made some banana bread, this afternoon, while the littles napped. I was actually able to get quite a bit done. I worked on laundry, and the house is presentable. I had my groceries delivered, so we’re restocked up. I’ve got a little break, before I need to start cooking our supper. Jackie’s going to come hang out with me, while the boys go to the gym.

I managed to contain my inner smart ass, last night, with Adam. There was no trouble at all. Now that he’s feeling much better, we’ve both been pretty horny. He’s looking real good, lately! He’s lost about 30 pounds. He was clocking in around 222 pounds, this summer. He’s down to about 194, now. He’s getting toned and sexy as hell. How could I possibly not want to jump his bones when I’m near him?! I’ve honestly never felt my husband wasn’t attractive. There’s much more to my attraction for him, than simply his good looks. The good looks do turn me on, though. And now I’m horny again…

Yeah, I wish time would tick a little slower
Sometimes it feels like I blink and then it’s over
Better soak it in, better make it last
Live it up while we can ’cause the good times go by too fast

~Dylan Scott

Looking through some pictures of my babies, today, and it makes me wonder where all the time has gone. That first one is from when Adam was in the hospital. He had gotten a terrible infection, in his hand. He ended up having to have emergency surgery. The surgeon told us he was just hours from losing his whole hand. Adam spent days in intensive care. He came home with a port that was used to inject antibiotics directly into his system, daily, for several weeks. That was a very scary and stressful time, for everyone. The second one is Wyatt, standing inside his daddy’s boots. The third picture is sweet Mikayla, at around eight years old. Last, but not least, is our baby, Mj. We sure have made a whole lot of memories. Even the toughest times, looking back, don’t seem so bad. We’ve always managed to find reasons to smile together, no matter what’s happening around us. I’ve been so blessed to have my healthy and happy children, and to be able to give them a good childhood.

Last night, as I got undressed for my bath, Adam walked into our bathroom. He gave my naked behind a little smack, as I leaned over to adjust the water temperature. When I spun around to face him, he pulled me close, and kissed me. We had sex before my bath. Then again, inside the shower. And once more, when we went to bed.

This Thanksgiving break has been relaxing, restful, and memorable. All of the moments we’ve captured in time, through pictures and video, will soon be memories I smile back on, when I find myself looking back through them, just like the ones I shared today. We’re always making history. Everyday, we’re creating memories that we’ll treasure forever. Whether we document them with photos, or simply inside our mind, they’ll be there. I’ll remember them and wonder, where did the time go? Just as I did today.

~Seether

Today was Pj’s first birthday! It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year, since my sister became a mama.

This afternoon, I cut Adam and Justin’s hair. As usual, Jackie took pictures…

I made chili, for supper. Justin and Jackie ate with us. Jackie and I talked in the kitchen, while the boys watched “Lonesome Dove”, in the other room. They just left. We all have to get up early, tomorrow morning, so we decided to call it a night. I just made some hot cocoa, for everybody. Now we’re all doing our own things. I crafted a little bit, earlier. I’m considering running myself a nice, hot, bubble bath. Adam’s still got a lingering cough, that’s annoying him. He’s been taking decongestants and constantly sucking on cough drops. Because of his feeling less than perfect, and the meds he’s been taking, it’s been awhile since we’ve had a good fuck. I miss him. I miss his body. I miss the ease with which he can find the exact places to touch, and send me into ecstasy. I’m horny as hell. Whether he’s a part of it tonight, or not, I’m going to make certain I don’t go to sleep without getting the sweet release that a good orgasm brings.

~Niko Moon

After we cleaned everything up, we all laid around the living room, and watched a movie. Everybody else took a nap, but I wasn’t sleepy. Later, Jackie and I did a little bit of online “Black Friday” shopping. I found a few great deals on gifts for my kids. Then, Justin, Jackie, Adam, our kids, and I sat down and played a couple games of “Clue”. After that, we played Phase 10. Jackie and I picked out a music playlist, from way back when. The years from about 2005-2010 have their own playlist, for us. There’s Nickelback, SHINEDOWN, Pop Evil, and Rehab’s “Sittin’ at a Bar”, among many others. There was a lot of reminiscing, laughing, and way off key singing along. We ended up staying up way too late! It was nearly 2:00am, before we went to bed. It was another perfect Thanksgiving, though.

This morning, I woke up around 7:45am. Adam was still sleeping soundly, beside me. I decided to just lay there, and enjoy the ability to stay cozy in bed. It was almost 10:00am, when we finally got up. The kids all slept until closer to noon. We’re all spending this Friday being lazy at home. We’re going to have a family movie night, tonight. Adam’s been watching football, this afternoon. I’ve been downstairs, watching corny Christmas movies. I’m thinking of going upstairs, and changing out of the jeans I’ve got on, into my comfy cashmere leggings. It’s 50 degrees, outside, but it sure feels chilly today. I can’t seem to get warmed up.

Tomorrow, I’m planning to cut Adam and Justin’s hair, for them. They’re both looking pretty shaggy, these days. Wyatt won’t let me cut his hair. He wants to keep growing it out. I’d like to at least trim it for him, but it’s not an issue I’m willing to bicker with him over. I’ve always let my kids style their hair however they liked to. They can wear the clothes they want, so long as they’re appropriate. Although, that’s never been a problem. Mikayla was, and still is, my “girly girl”. She wore skirts and dresses, tiaras, and plenty of accessories, when she was little. In preschool, I had another little girl’s mom tell me that her daughter had come home one day, and asked her to “Please be like MiKayla’s mom. MiKayla’s mom let’s her wear dresses everyday. So, please mama, be more like MiKayla’s mom.” I thought that was the cutest (and funniest) thing! I so enjoy letting my children show me who they are. I never want them to feel they need to be a certain way, to gain my approval. I want them to have confidence and pride in being themselves. So long as they’re not endangering themselves or others, they should be free to express themselves. That’s how I think, anyway.

I think I am going to go and get these blue jeans off, so I can get comfortable, and snuggle myself in for our movie night.

I’ve got the green bean casserole in the oven. Jackie’s mashed potatoes are in the crockpot, staying warm. I’m fixing to start the macaroni and cheese, make the stuffing, and then put the rolls in the oven. Then, it’s time to eat this deliciousness. Happy Thanksgiving!

Jackie came over, this morning. We ran to the store and got some drinks, for the holiday week into the weekend. I’ve been getting my house cleaned up. It’s much harder to keep up, when I’ve got all the little people here. I steamed eggs, yesterday. Now I’ve got to make them into deviled eggs. I’m also fixing to start making our cheesecakes. Adam went into work, but he’s on his way home now. Traffic is backed up like crazy, as would be expected on this holiday eve. I’m wearing “the” sweater. My mustard yellow sweater, that I wouldn’t put back on for several weeks last year, because I had gotten into trouble twice while wearing it. Jackie asked me earlier, “Isn’t that your trouble sweater?” I laughed, and told her, “Yes, but I haven’t been in any kind of trouble in a good long while now!”

I need to go get busy baking, but I’ve got a good streak going, on posting here. I wanted to put something on here, for today. I know it’s been rather boring, but my behind appreciates the mundane normalcy, that has been my life. It’s going to be a fun few days, hanging out with my people. ❤️

Y’all, I found a goldmine, this morning! I searched for “kids songs”, on my TV. This is where I discovered Snoop Dogg has a whole collection of children’s songs, animated with cartoon characters.

Needless to say, the kids and I all enjoyed this!

I’m steaming eggs, for the deviled eggs we’ll be having on Thanksgiving. Tomorrow, I’ll make the cheesecakes. It’s rainy and cool, outside. I’m just trying to keep these little ones entertained. They’ve all been pretty good, so far, this morning. I got them a few new toys. I found a block shape sorter, and I got a big box of wooden building blocks. They’re having fun with those. My kids will be out of school, tomorrow through the weekend. Adam works tomorrow, but is off for Thanksgiving. I think he’s working Friday, too. Maybe not, though?

I don’t have much else to write, yet. If that changes, I’ll write more this evening. I’m doing a good job of writing something, everyday. Even though there hasn’t been a whole lot going on.