I took up my vocation,
I was called by my nation.
Without hesitation,
My answer I gave.
Now I am not wondering,
The things that I might have been.
No consolation,
To the forgotten brave.

~The Trews Featuring Kid Rock

Jackie’s surgery went very well. She’s been resting, at home. She’s sore, and medicated, but doing pretty good.

Our friend, Biscuit, had a stroke. He’s in the hospital. I’m going to bring the littles, and go visit him, tomorrow. He’s been working so hard to change his life around. He’s staying away from the people and places that tempt him to get back into trouble. He was baptized, just a couple weeks ago. I’m sad for him, this had to happen now. He’s real down about it. I want to go and cheer him up a little bit. Remind him we’re here for him, and he’s not alone.

Our contractors will be here, next Friday, to begin repair work on our house! I’m anxious to get all that done. I’ve been doing a lot of crafting projects, this weekend. I’m working on some Minnie Mouse/Disney themed decorations, for Pj’s bedroom. Pj loves Minnie, so I wanted to make something she would be excited about.

I took down the last of my winter and Christmas themed decor, around the house. I don’t have much for Valentine’s Day, or Saint Patrick’s Day, but I have a lot of Spring and Easter stuff. It’s cool, today, but had been pretty nice out. We’ve slept with our windows open, the last several nights. I’m definitely getting some serious “Spring fever”! We didn’t do much, this weekend. Once Jackie is back to feeling good, we’re looking for fun things to go do. There’s a concert coming up, in April, we’re trying to talk the boys into taking us to. We haven’t gotten out much, lately. I’m getting stir crazy.

I’m sitting downstairs, watching TV, now.

I went to the store, earlier. It felt good to get out, crank up my car stereo, and drive around. There’s still so much tornado damage, around us. So many homes sit empty. Piles of rubble line the ends of people’s driveways.

We also got some more crappy news, this weekend. My brother is being deployed again. He wasn’t supposed to be deployed another time. He’s done 7 deployments, already. They only got the news, Friday. He leaves in one week. I’m not sure whether he truly doesn’t know where he’s going to, or won’t say. All I know, is somewhere in the Middle East. With so much happening around the world, it’s scary. I’m angry and sad, that he has to go. We ask an incredible amount of our service men and women. They, and their families, make tremendous sacrifices. When he’s deployed, anytime my doorbell rings unexpectedly, my heart sinks. My mind races, and I wonder if this is it. Is this the day I open my door to find people standing there, waiting to tell me he won’t be coming home this time. My brother assures me, he’s okay. He insists everything is fine… I know better, though. I play along with him, as if I believe everything he’s telling me, because I know he needs us to.

~Demun Jones

Im sitting at our dining room table, watching the littles nap. The baby sleeps in her crib, in my room, but the other 2 are sleeping in the family room. I usually put the 3 year old upstairs, but Mikayla is home sick today. So, she’s staying upstairs, and we’re attempting to avoid spreading sick germs now.

I went to my doctor, yesterday. I had to load up all three of the littles into car seats, and drive into Nashville. I got an inhaler, steroids, and a cough medicine. I won’t take the cough medicine, because it makes my brain fuzzy, and I don’t like it. The inhaler and steroids are helping, though! I hadn’t had bronchitis for years, but this stupid cold or flu we had really kicked my butt.

We bought Mikayla a new car, a few weeks ago. I think I forgot to mention that. It’s just a 2014 Ford Focus, so nothing “new”. It’s a cute little car, though. Now that she’s got her own wheels again, I get to have my car back. She was pretty excited, when we brought it home for her. We did end up paying for a new car, but she has to get the plates, pay for half of her car insurance, and keep up with maintenance on it. That seems fair enough, I think?

The other night, while Adam and I were in the shower, I rolled my eyes at him. I hadn’t done it in a very long time! He was being so goofy, and I told him it’s like tickling me and insisting I don’t laugh! He smacked my butt a few times, but it didn’t really hurt. We talked about how, things said and done become serious depending on circumstances. If Adam was having a real conversation with me, and I rolled my eyes to him, that would be much worse than doing it while I’m laughing at something silly he’s said. I know we both understand these kind of things. No, I shouldn’t roll my eyes to him at all, but it wasn’t meant in a disrespectful way, and he knew that. While him being consistent matters a lot to me, I’m perfectly capable of understanding when, where, and how I’m being truly disrespectful to my husband.

Jackie is having her surgery, tomorrow! She’s super nervous, which I totally understand. Between 20 and 30 years old, I had 6 surgeries, was also put to sleep to have my wisdom teeth removed, and had 2 endoscopies and a colonoscopy done. If I never have to have another surgery, I’d be more than good with it. Surgery is scary, and it’s no fun knowing you’re going to leave the hospital hurting and feeling crappy for awhile. Jackie and Justin are coming over, this evening. We’re all just going to hang out and help her pass the time between now and tomorrow morning. We all decided, once Jackie is feeling better, we’re making plans to go out and do something. We talked about going to a local place that has ax throwing, cornhole, pool tables, and dart boards. We’re also going to plan a guitar night. It’s been awhile, since we did one of them. Now that the holidays are over, we’re all feeling anxious to get out and do some fun things again. There’s a comedian who I adore, Leeann Morgan. She’s going to be doing a show not far from us, in April. I would love to go watch! Also, once the weather gets nicer, I’m wanting to go see a Monster Jam show. I absolutely love watching those great big trucks drive around the track. I’ve never cared much for tractor pulls, but I’ve always enjoyed demolition derbies and the monster trucks.

I suppose I should go get something done, while the littles are napping. I think I’ve pretty well caught up on all the excitement happening here.

It’s been a long time living this way
Worrying what people say
Feeling like I won’t fit in
But I won’t give up, no I won’t give in
We’re looking for something more
What you’re really looking for
It’s been with you since you were born
Since you were born

You only live once
I’m good with myself
I’m there for my friends
‘Til the very end

I’m good, I’m good, I’m good, I’m good
Living life just like I should
Wouldn’t change it if I could
I’m good, I’m good, I’m good

~The Mowgli’s

What a week it’s been here in Tennessee! The kids were out of school the entire week, due to inclement weather. Adam also stayed home, all week, for the same reason. I had the littles, though. Adam got a touch of this crud I’ve been sick with, but he only felt crappy for a few days. He’s all better now. I am still coughing like crazy. My chest hurts from coughing so hard, for this long. Years ago, I actually cracked one of my ribs from having a nasty cough for several days in a row. I’m paranoid about doing that again. So far, no broken ribs though. Thank gosh. Besides the annoyance of this coughing, I don’t feel too bad.

Last night, Adam and I sat in the basement together. We binge watched a bunch of old episodes of “Roseanne”. Jackie is planning to come over, in a little bit. We’re going to craft for awhile, and just hang out. I haven’t seen her since last Friday! Between this snow and ice, and the sickness going around, we haven’t gotten to spend time together. The roads finally cleared, yesterday afternoon. There’s still some snow, in our yards, and it’s cold as hell, but at least the roads aren’t a concern.

I’m really anxious to get everybody back into our routine again. Monday, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment in Nashville. I’m probably going to wind up having to bring all three of the littles along, too. If Jackie is able to work from home, she said she’d watch the 5 and 3 year olds for me, but that’s IF she’s able to work from home. I have to bring the baby with me always, because of her trachea care needs. I recently bought the littles some fun new things. I got them a play grocery cart, along with more play food and dishes. I got them a little wagon, so I can pull them around the neighborhood…if the weather finally decides to warm up again. I also just ordered a new robotic vacuum/mop, for our main floor. I had one, until a couple years ago. It quit working, and I hadn’t replaced it. I decided it would be a worthwhile investment, considering the time and energy I could save myself from having to sweep and mop daily here. It can take care of the day to day messes, leaving me with just a good deep cleaning to do once a week. Wyatt got his hair cut, this morning. I think he looks fresh and handsome, with his new hairdo. Mikayla is hanging out with her friends. It’s her day off from work, so she’s busy spending time with her friends. Adam and I talked about going to eat at the food truck she works at, tomorrow, when she’s working. It’s called Music City Gyros, and they make some darned good food! If y’all are ever in the Nashville area, it’s a great choice for eating out. You get a whole lot of food for your money, too.

I haven’t seriously been in trouble, in months. Last night, Adam was teasing me, and I slightly lifted my middle finger. I tapped it on my leg, as I playfully glared up at him. He noticed. He sat down beside me, pulled me across his lap, and gave me a few swats. Little things like that, are the closest I’ve been to getting a spanking, for a long while. The weather’s been crappy. I’m sick of being sick. All these kids are requiring a whole lot of my energy. Things are good, anyhow. I truly have no complaints. I feel so fortunate. I’m happy inside this place of contentment. I often find myself struggling with, what I call the “winter blues”, this time of year. I’m not, though. I have no need to sit and write out my troubling thoughts. I’m not plagued by emotions related to painful memories that randomly cross into my thoughts. My sister shares her location with me (as I do with her), and I’ve noticed she’s been spending the last few days with our mother. Even so, I can’t say I’m particularly bothered by it. I trust her to keep my privacy guarded from her. I don’t seem to mind the fact that she has a mom, and I don’t. I’m not sure whether that’s a good or a bad thing? I just know, it’s how I feel. I’m more than happy with the family I’m surrounded by. I have all the love and support that I need. I don’t require that love come from a person who simply cannot give it to me. There are plenty of people right here, who I never have to ask to be here. They choose to be in my life. For that, I am grateful. I know I’m valuable, to the ones who share themselves with me. I matter to the people around me, and I’m satisfied in that.

Oliver (our dog) just decided it was as good a time as any to vomit on the carpeting. So, I suppose I’m done writing, for now.

~George Strait

I woke up, Saturday morning, sick as hell. I’ve had a horrible headache, body aches, sore throat, with a nasty cough. I’ve also been taking Tylenol every 6 hours, to keep the high fever down. Today, the congestion seems to have settled down into my chest. My fever has finally broken, though. Even with Tylenol, I was running temps over 102 degrees. That was absolutely miserable. I haven’t really gotten to enjoy these snow days, at home.

We did wind up with a lot of snow! Nashville actually broke records. Our average yearly snowfall totals are just over 4 inches. This storm dumped up to 9 inches in some areas! Our kids are still out of school, tomorrow, and Adam isn’t going into work. But, I will have the littles. The roads have cleared enough for us to get them here, and I’m feeling well enough. Today’s the first day I haven’t slept most of the day away, since Friday. Adam took such good care of me, though. He braved the terrible weather, to go out and get some Gatorlyte drinks for me. He and the kids cooked, and cleaned up the kitchen. I laid with my head in his lap, while he put his hand over my forehead, for hours. My head ached something fierce, and having his hand putting some pressure across my forehead helped ease that pain. I almost never wear sweatpants. I own maybe 5-6 pairs of sweatpants, most of which I’ve had for years, but that’s been my attire for several days. Right now, I’m sitting down in our basement, cozy under a blanket, watching an old movie called “Pure Country”. Mj helped me make some scrambled eggs and toast, for supper. Adam warmed up leftover chili, and Wyatt ate some leftover brats. Mikayla is over at Justin and Jackie’s place. We know they let her boyfriend sleep over there, which has been the reason she’s chosen to spend nights there, when there’s no school. I’ve been aware of this, for some time, but Adam just realized it, this weekend. He was not impressed, to say the least. He’s even a little angry at Justin, for allowing her boyfriend to sleep there. It’s tough, because Mikayla is 18 years old, now. She’s always been an incredibly responsible, hard working, driven kid. I suppose I’ve afforded her more freedom, because of that. I think it’s hard for a dad to realize he’s no longer the “man in his little girl’s life”. Adam had set up uno and monopoly games, to play with the kids, before Mikayla told us she was staying over at Justin and Jackie’s. Adam’s feelings were just hurt, since he was looking forward to spending some quality time with the kiddos on these snow days. Teenagers are very selfish creatures. They truly don’t intend to, or realize, the impact their words and actions have on their parents. I know this, because I remember being one myself, what doesn’t seem like all that long ago. As I got older, and became a parent myself, I’ve understood how much of the things I did and said, at that age, could’ve hurt my own family. I am certain that Mikayla will soon enough grow up, and see the same realizations.

I have every intention to get naked with my husband, tonight. It’s been way too long! I sure hope he doesn’t come down with whatever crud I’ve had, now. He’s been so good to me, and he’s such an amazing daddy to all of our babies. I want to love him, that way, tonight. I was recently discussing, with a friend, about the two sexiest things my husband does. One, is when I see him get angry on my behalf. When he stands up for me, even if it means a physical altercation is a possibility. The second, is when he holds a baby. Seeing the way his hands can be so intimidating, hard, and powerful, but also showing me just how gentle, kind, and loving they can be. Jordan Peterson says men should be dangerous, and learn to control it. Joe Rogan mentions about how it’s better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war. I can understand the sense in those statements. As a woman, knowing my husband is capable of being dangerous, while also being certain that will never be directed toward myself, or our children, is immeasurably attractive!

I think I’ll go make myself some of the vanilla cappuccino Adam restocked my cabinets with, for me, and finish this movie I started.

Everybody knows everybody
Everybody calls you friend
You don’t need an invitation
Oh, kick off your shoes, come on in
Yeah, we know how to work and we know how to play
We’re from the country and we like it that way

~Tracy Byrd

It seems like I say this every time I post, but it’s been another super busy couple of weeks here! We made a trip to Kansas, last week. We spent some time with Adam’s family. It was a lot of fun!

We all hung out at the shop, and played pool with some friends. Adam’s brother grilled steaks for everyone. It was so cold there, though!! It snowed, while we were there. Thankfully, it waited to seriously accumulate, until after we’d come back home.

Right after we got home, the littles (small children I look after) got here. We had them all week. By the time I got them to bed, it was time for Adam and I to shower and get ourselves to bed. I actually cried to Adam, the other night, because I felt I was neglecting our babies. I love these little people! It’s just hard to be “spread so thin”. I truly haven’t had even a moment of free time, all week long. They’re with their mama for the weekend. As soon as they left, I vacuumed, swept, mopped, cleaned all the bathrooms, and put away several loads of folded laundry I hadn’t gotten to yet. I put on some music, and it’s so nice to have a few moments to myself. Mj has a friend over. They’re down in the basement. Wyatt is upstairs, in his room. Mikayla is at work. Adam isn’t home from work, yet, either.

We got another crazy storm, a couple days ago. We had high winds, and it blew the roof up from our backyard shed. It also blew off even more shingles, from our roof. Thankfully, contractors will be here in the next two weeks to put on our new roof, siding, and gutters. They’re calling for possible snow on Sunday night, into Monday. It’s fixing to turn real cold here, too. To be honest, I wouldn’t be opposed to a snow day, Monday. I need to run to the store and make sure we’re stocked up on all our essentials, before the snow blows in. Once we’ve got everything we need, I say bring it on!