I’m Good

It’s been a long time living this way
Worrying what people say
Feeling like I won’t fit in
But I won’t give up, no I won’t give in
We’re looking for something more
What you’re really looking for
It’s been with you since you were born
Since you were born

You only live once
I’m good with myself
I’m there for my friends
‘Til the very end

I’m good, I’m good, I’m good, I’m good
Living life just like I should
Wouldn’t change it if I could
I’m good, I’m good, I’m good

~The Mowgli’s

What a week it’s been here in Tennessee! The kids were out of school the entire week, due to inclement weather. Adam also stayed home, all week, for the same reason. I had the littles, though. Adam got a touch of this crud I’ve been sick with, but he only felt crappy for a few days. He’s all better now. I am still coughing like crazy. My chest hurts from coughing so hard, for this long. Years ago, I actually cracked one of my ribs from having a nasty cough for several days in a row. I’m paranoid about doing that again. So far, no broken ribs though. Thank gosh. Besides the annoyance of this coughing, I don’t feel too bad.

Last night, Adam and I sat in the basement together. We binge watched a bunch of old episodes of “Roseanne”. Jackie is planning to come over, in a little bit. We’re going to craft for awhile, and just hang out. I haven’t seen her since last Friday! Between this snow and ice, and the sickness going around, we haven’t gotten to spend time together. The roads finally cleared, yesterday afternoon. There’s still some snow, in our yards, and it’s cold as hell, but at least the roads aren’t a concern.

I’m really anxious to get everybody back into our routine again. Monday, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment in Nashville. I’m probably going to wind up having to bring all three of the littles along, too. If Jackie is able to work from home, she said she’d watch the 5 and 3 year olds for me, but that’s IF she’s able to work from home. I have to bring the baby with me always, because of her trachea care needs. I recently bought the littles some fun new things. I got them a play grocery cart, along with more play food and dishes. I got them a little wagon, so I can pull them around the neighborhood…if the weather finally decides to warm up again. I also just ordered a new robotic vacuum/mop, for our main floor. I had one, until a couple years ago. It quit working, and I hadn’t replaced it. I decided it would be a worthwhile investment, considering the time and energy I could save myself from having to sweep and mop daily here. It can take care of the day to day messes, leaving me with just a good deep cleaning to do once a week. Wyatt got his hair cut, this morning. I think he looks fresh and handsome, with his new hairdo. Mikayla is hanging out with her friends. It’s her day off from work, so she’s busy spending time with her friends. Adam and I talked about going to eat at the food truck she works at, tomorrow, when she’s working. It’s called Music City Gyros, and they make some darned good food! If y’all are ever in the Nashville area, it’s a great choice for eating out. You get a whole lot of food for your money, too.

I haven’t seriously been in trouble, in months. Last night, Adam was teasing me, and I slightly lifted my middle finger. I tapped it on my leg, as I playfully glared up at him. He noticed. He sat down beside me, pulled me across his lap, and gave me a few swats. Little things like that, are the closest I’ve been to getting a spanking, for a long while. The weather’s been crappy. I’m sick of being sick. All these kids are requiring a whole lot of my energy. Things are good, anyhow. I truly have no complaints. I feel so fortunate. I’m happy inside this place of contentment. I often find myself struggling with, what I call the “winter blues”, this time of year. I’m not, though. I have no need to sit and write out my troubling thoughts. I’m not plagued by emotions related to painful memories that randomly cross into my thoughts. My sister shares her location with me (as I do with her), and I’ve noticed she’s been spending the last few days with our mother. Even so, I can’t say I’m particularly bothered by it. I trust her to keep my privacy guarded from her. I don’t seem to mind the fact that she has a mom, and I don’t. I’m not sure whether that’s a good or a bad thing? I just know, it’s how I feel. I’m more than happy with the family I’m surrounded by. I have all the love and support that I need. I don’t require that love come from a person who simply cannot give it to me. There are plenty of people right here, who I never have to ask to be here. They choose to be in my life. For that, I am grateful. I know I’m valuable, to the ones who share themselves with me. I matter to the people around me, and I’m satisfied in that.

Oliver (our dog) just decided it was as good a time as any to vomit on the carpeting. So, I suppose I’m done writing, for now.