Best Friend

On the dance floor, she had two-three drinks
Now she twerkin’, she throw it out and come back in

When we pull up to the scene, they be filled with jealousy
If a bitch get finicky, she gon’ bring that energy (pop-pop-pop)
I hit her phone with the tea, like, “Bitch, guess what?”

That my best friend, she a real bad bitch…

~Saweetie

We went bowling, last night. I did not bowl very well, at all, but it was fun! Jackie actually did pretty good! The boys weren’t too shabby, either. After we finished a couple games, we decided to migrate over, into the bar area. They had karaoke set up. Jackie was hilarious! She’s so unafraid to go be silly, and make it a great time. We did a little dancing, and she did some karaoke. It was such a fun night!

I shouldn’t have to clarify these things, but due to recent comments, I’m going to. Jackie was really hurt, yesterday, when she read some comments on a blog post she’d made. For anyone wondering, Jackie is working right now. She’s got a job, to help pay for their wedding. I babysit for her sister’s little kids. Not because I feel obligated, but because I choose to. I love these babies! Yes, it’s a lot of work, but I certainly wouldn’t be doing it if I didn’t want to. Jackie has given me her blog info. I have the ability to go and read her posts, if I wanted to. I don’t do it, simply because I respect her privacy. I always read the things she shares with me, but she is allowed to have her own space to write. Jackie has every right to her thoughts and feelings. I am not offended by that. She isn’t just some “side kick”, of mine. She isn’t my “costar”. She is her own person, at the beginning of a whole new and beautiful start in her life. Of course, I want to always be a part of her life! But, she isn’t required to consider me in every decision she makes, either. She is a grown up, with her own goals, desires, fears, struggles, annoyances….and she is entitled to all of them! Even if she was frustrated with me, and needed to write about it in her blog, that’s okay. Neither of us are perfect human beings. The friendship, loyalty, trust, and love we have for one another is very very real, though. I care so much about her! It makes me sad, to see her upset. I hate that she’s feeling guilty about sharing her personal thoughts in her own blog. I feel guilty, for encouraging her to begin her blog! Jackie is a beautiful and thoughtful and talented and generous and kind woman. She does do a lot for her sister, too! Things neither of us probably have ever mentioned in our blogs. She isn’t simply my best friend. She’s family. Not because we’re obligated by blood, but because we CHOOSE it to be so.

I realize, I sometimes write out my thoughts and feelings, but can’t possibly include every detail to give context. For example, the post about my frustrations with Adam and our son. I hadn’t mentioned that Adam and I have had several conversations around our son’s attitude and his rude mouth. If I decide to argue, or call Wyatt out, it seems to always lead to an even bigger problem. When Adam does it, Wyatt straightens right up. So, I need Adam’s help. Wyatt’s a teenager full of raging hormones and all the teenage woes. He needs his dad to teach him about being a man. That’s just something I can’t possibly do by myself. My girls have been so much easier, for me. They never sass back to me. They absolutely hate to make any mistakes. If they don’t do well on a test at school, or neglect a chore they were supposed to get done, they wind up beating themselves up about it. It’s almost never even necessary for us to discipline them, because they’re tough on themselves. Wyatt is different. He’s stubborn and he can be a bit arrogant at times. I love him to death, and the truth is, he reminds me so much of myself, at his age. My point is, despite the many many things shared here, there are also so many more that aren’t necessarily written about. It’s impossible to fully put context into a blog post. There’s a lot of history, emotions, and different opinions that go into every single story being told. We’re real people. Our stories are true. They’re incomplete, and told with varying perspectives, but they’re real. It isn’t my job to convince anyone of that, but me and my people all know the truth. I write in this blog because it helps me to process my story. It’s my own online “diary”, and if I’m able to spread some hope, joy, or possibly even some wisdom, that’s a huge bonus! I’m positive Jackie feels the same way about her writing. While we do have a whole lot in common, we’re also like a box of chocolates, as Forest Gump once said. We have our own unique flavors. And, that’s more than okay. It’s necessary. We need the varying energy, ideas, perspectives, strengths, and weaknesses. That’s what makes the relationships we share so strong and powerful. Jackie brings so much light into my world! I hope I’m doing the same for her. We’ve been together for over 2 decades! We’ve written a whole lot of pages in each other’s stories. Life isn’t always easy, or perfect. We aren’t always easy to love, I’m sure. Nothing and nobody will ever convince me that Jackie doesn’t love and care for me in the same ways that I do her, though. We’re “Lucy and Ethel”. Even when we’re mad at each other (which is very rare), we always love each other. There are only a handful of people I genuinely can’t imagine living without, and Jackie’s definitely at the top of that list.