Tennessee Mountain Top

There ain’t nothin’ like a Tennessee mountain top 
Some straight shootin’ neighbors that don’t name-drop 
With a preacher man prayin’ for peace but still packin’ a gun (you better ask somebody) 
Singing karaoke in a double wide with smoke so thick it’ll burn your eyes 
Oh-oh, my sweet Lord, I’ll warn ya 
Fall in love with an angel, you’ll end up in California

~Kid Rock

I made two versions of the video I’m going to share, here. One for my blog, and one for our family. We were singing this song, but with “you’ll end up in California, or Texas”, haha! My sister and her husband are so happy, building their lives in Texas. We miss them like crazy, but it truly makes my heart happy, seeing her flourishing in their new home. My sister’s seriously grown more in the last few years than most of us do in a decade, or more! She’s a great wife, an exceptional mama, and a beautiful woman, inside and out. Her twenties were a stark contrast to my own. I became a mama, before I was even out of my teens. She was a little wild, sometimes reckless, and mostly unconcerned with any ideas of becoming a wife or a mother, the way I’d always known I wanted to be. She met her husband back when they both were still children, themselves. Then, they grew up and lost touch. Until, he was stationed with the 101st Airborne Division, just across state lines, in Kentucky. The very first night Adam and I spent in our new house, she’d gone to a bar to watch the Super Bowl. Her childhood friend, and future husband, also went to that bar. She became unexpectedly pregnant, soon after that encounter, and the rest is history! They’re a fantastic couple. He’s good to my sister, and also an awesome daddy and provider. It’s been a lot of fun, watching her transform into her new self. She’ll always be her. She’s just a much calmer, settled, content, healthy, and genuinely happy version of herself, now. We swap recipes, clothes, and parenting advice. I sometimes wish we’d been able to have babies closer in age, so they could grow up together. My kids adore Pj! She’ll just grow up with very protective, but cool, older cousins.

It was hard to say “goodbye”, yesterday. I don’t actually say goodbye to people I love. Instead, it’s always, See ya! Hopefully, this “see ya later” won’t be nearly as long as the last one was. I needed the random conversations in my kitchen, the giggles, and the hugs from my sister and my niece! We went out for coffee, no less than half a dozen times, over the week she spent here. Mj and I got to bring her to another little independent coffee shop. They’ve got fish that look just like Dory and Nemo, from the kids’ movie Finding Nemo. I was excited to show them to Pj. We most often took her to our favorite spot, though. Dutch Bros. That’s my girls and my usual choice, for coffee drinks. We also went to a place near our dad’s, where they have a really cute play area for little kids. Pj had a blast! She even made a friend or two, there.

We all went out to a Mexican restaurant, on their last night here. My dad, his fiancé, her daughter (who’s only a year older than my Mj is), Adam, Mj, my sister, Pj, and of course myself, were all there. My big girls are just sooo busy these days, they couldn’t be there. We did all FaceTime, though, one evening. There was a group of older folks seated at a table near us. Towards the end of the evening, it was only them and us, left there. Apparently, they were celebrating a birthday. They sang Happy Birthday. One was adorned with a sombrero, courtesy of the waiter. They began to sing along with music playing overhead, and danced. The waiter joined in. We clapped, and cheered. It was pure shenanigans. That last night ended with a lot of tear filled eyes, as my sister and niece hugged our dad and them goodbye. The next morning, Adam, Mj, and I drove my sister and Pj to the airport. Not before one last trip over to Dutch Bros, of course. At the airport, more tearful hugs were exchanged, and then we watched and waved as they walked toward their gate.

I suppose I should address the cliffhanger I left my last post on…

To be honest, there’s not a whole lot to tell. I actually chickened out, the night I first planned to talk to Adam about it. It probably sounds silly, but he was just so sweet, that night! I couldn’t bring myself to pull that metaphorical trigger. I’d asked him, earlier in the evening, if I could show him my latest blog post? He’d gotten home fairly early, but was still working on some things he could do from home. He’d told me, “Of course! Just as soon as I’m finished with this.” Finally, when he came to me, he said, “Okay sweet girl, let me see it.” I looked up at him, and asked him to give me a minute. He replied, “I’ll give you two.” (Meaning, take your time. Whenever you’re ready.) Later, as we stood at our bathroom sinks, brushing our teeth, he reminded me he still hadn’t gotten to see my blog post. I sort of brushed it off with a shrug, and told him we’d just do that tomorrow. It wasn’t until our nightly shower together, that he again brought up the blog post he’d yet to set his eyes upon. Only then, had he begun to suspect there might be something I needed to share with him inside my writing, and that it may be something to spank my butt for. His suspicions became abundantly clear, after we got out of the shower, when he sat himself on the side of our bathtub, and waited for me to reveal whatever it was to him. That damn bathtub edge is a familiar spot he’s chosen to pull me across his lap. Besides his choice of places to sit and wait, his face wore obvious determination, that I was not getting out of sharing whatever it was he needed to know. He didn’t know what it was, but he knew there was something.

I rubbed lotion on my arms and legs, combed my hair, and applied the various products my curly hair requires, as I finally shared that blog post. I hadn’t divulged any details concerning what it was that I would come clean about. Only that there was something I needed to. So naturally, after he finished reading, I knew it was time to start talking, when his eyes shifted up to look into my own. His expression was now a more stern, serious one, but not angry. More anxiously curious. He listened without a single interruption, as I explained. It truly wasn’t anything intentional, or even one where fault should be laid at my feet. It was something I likely could’ve avoided, had I known to investigate, but not exactly a foreseeable consequence of the actions we’d both been aware of. The real “crime” was in my decision to withhold information, regardless of my reasons for doing so. And I did have some sympathetic reasons. Which is why Adam chose to approach this in such an understanding way. His words were kind, his voice gentle. As predicted, he spoke on the issue of neglecting to discuss things much sooner, no matter how big or small. We don’t keep secrets. We don’t tell lies. Those are two very serious rules, between us. I’m well aware of them, and expect him to abide by them as much as he does me. When that little lecture was done, he sighed and said, “You know I love you…but you also know what’s gotta happen. Right?” My heart raced, knees buckled, as I began to plead with him. He picked me up. It’s embarrassingly easy for him to manipulate my body into any which way he desires, in these situations. I’m incapable of resisting against his strong arms, in any meaningful way. When he’d maneuvered me across his lap, as he began to pull my pajama pants down to expose my bare behind, I repeated “Nooo! Pleeeease!” Then he simply patted me on my ass, and pulled me into his arms. I buried my face into his chest, and told him “Thank you”. Adam lifted my chin, so my eyes met his. In a soft, but very serious tone, he promised me he would not be letting me off the hook, next time. I lowered my head, to rest it on his shoulder. He ended by asking if I understood? I nodded. He once again lifted my eyes toward his, as he said for the second time, “Do you understand?” I knew the words he expected from me, so I said them. Yes sir.