~Lifehouse

I took some video of our area, yesterday, while Jackie and I were out. It’s truly hard to comprehend the sheer magnitude of devastation all around us. I battle my own feelings of guilt, because I can’t understand why or how I’ve always managed to be one of the “lucky ones”. I’m no better than my neighbors. I’m no more important. I’m not special. It’s so random, and cruel, the way Mother Nature can indiscriminately destroy homes and businesses. It’s beyond unfair, to think of the lives lost, in a matter of seconds. It hit me, yesterday, as I realized it was just about to be 24 hours since we’d been struck with these tornado outbreaks… There were families who were losing loved ones, losing all their possessions, their homes, their businesses, at that very moment just 24 hours earlier. Two of the deaths were children. A 10 year old, and a 2 year old. The others were adults. There are people who probably had Christmas gifts stashed away somewhere, meant for those who were taken, that will never get to be opened by them. There are hundreds of families who no longer have a home to celebrate the holidays in. There are still tens of thousands of families without power. It’s cold as hell outside. Again, I’m one of the fortunate ones, because I not only have a warm place to go wait out this chaos, but we also have a generator to power some electric heaters inside our home, keeping it warm enough for our pets and to protect our pipes.

Adam and I slept in our bed, last night. We had two dogs and two cats curled up on and around us. It was plenty cozy. It’s not “warm”, inside, but I’ve had the generator off for several hours and the inside temperature is holding steady at 58 degrees. Our kids slept at Justin and Jackie’s place. Adam went into work, this morning. I’m fixing to head over to Justin and Jackie’s, so I can get something to eat and check on my kiddos. I’m holding out hope that our power might still come back on, sometime today. It’s hard to venture a guess on how much longer we will have to wait, though.

It’s my birthday, today. I’ve got no cause to complain at all. I have all of my people, safe and sound. I still have my home, my pets, and my health. It’s not exactly how I imagined spending my birthday, this year, but that’s okay. I have many blessings to count, today. The sun is shining. It’s only just about at freezing temperatures, outside, but the sunshine is nice. I’m going to go make myself and my babies something to eat, in Jackie’s kitchen. Although I’m grateful for the gracious hosts they’ve been to us all, I am so anxious to be able to get everyone back home, and back to our “normal” again. In the meantime, I’ll continue to celebrate the enormous, yet undeserved, gifts I’ve been given. All of the people and things that matter to me are still here, and that’s the best birthday present I could’ve ever asked for. I really need to remember to appreciate all of the gifts I regularly take for granted. My family and friends. My health. My home. These things that I forget to appreciate as often as I should. They are what truly ever matters. The gifts I’ve got stashed away, for my family, mean nothing without the family I’m blessed to give them to. Miracles happen all around us, everyday. It’s just too easy to ignore them, because we grow to simply expect them. We assume we will lay our head down on our own pillows tonight, next to someone we love. We assume we’ll hug our babies again. We assume we’ll all wake up, when the next morning comes. For every single one of us, there will come a day that all changes, though. We can’t predict when, or how. We can’t know why. All we can do, is appreciate this moment, right now.

We’re still staying over at Justin and Jackie’s place. We’ve got a generator helping to warm our house enough to prevent any pipes freezing. Jackie and I went and drove around awhile and checked out the area around our neighborhood. It’s heartbreaking…

We’re kind of in a weird state of limbo. Just watching and waiting to see what happens next. I do feel guilty for complaining at all. While we don’t have power at home, many people don’t even have a home anymore. Our kids aren’t going to school next week. Then, it’s Christmas break. So, they won’t be going back to school until mid January. Tomorrow is my birthday, too. Hopefully, we get our power back on. That would be an awesome birthday gift, to me! I am thankful to have people we can stay with, though. It makes me so sad to see all of the people sleeping on cots, provided by the Red Cross, inside my kids school gym, because they don’t have anywhere else to go. What an unexpected, tragic weekend.

~Ryan Ellis

This afternoon, all of our phones alerted in unison. They screamed tornado warnings, to us. We grabbed the kids and pets, and went downstairs. You could hear the tornado sirens outside. We could feel the air rapidly beginning to change. As suddenly as it began, it was over. We went upstairs, and walked outside. We lost some shingles from our roof, and the basketball hoop was blown over and shattered. Other than that, all was good. Then, a lady came running down the street. She flailed her arms frantically, and spoke in a shaken voice. She was begging any able bodied men to go help get the people trapped inside their houses. The entire area just up from ours was devastated. Mikayla’s good friend spent two hours inside her bathtub, waiting to be rescued. The downed power lines and standing water made it difficult to get into some places. Lots of homes were destroyed. Many people were injured, today. There were also lives lost. It’s tragic. Right before Christmas too.

We’re all over at Justin and Jackie’s place, because we still don’t have any power at home. I’m not sure how long it’ll be, until that’s restored. I’m just so grateful we’re all okay. I’m also very sad for everyone who’s suffered losses, because of our weather, today.

~Theory of a Deadman

I found the most perfect gift to give Jackie, for Christmas! I’ve already gotten her several things, but I couldn’t resist this…

I’ve got her pajamas, fuzzy slipper socks, a new electric blanket (she’s mentioned hers doesn’t work as good as it used to), and I’ve crafted a couple of things for her, too. I’m doing pretty good, with my Christmas gift shopping. I’ve got a whole lot of people shopped for. I still need to find a few things for some people, and I’ve got some craft projects I’m working on yet, but I’m feeling accomplished. I’m excited about it all.

Last night, Adam pissed me off. I felt he was being a jerk, and even “showing off” to Justin. I didn’t appreciate the way he spoke to me, or his attitude towards me. It just wasn’t necessary. The truth is, I could’ve responded to all of this better. I definitely got defensive and gave him attitude right back. I cursed him out, and showed little restraint. If he hadn’t been acting the way he was, I’m positive I’d have been in serious trouble for the way I spoke to him. I got frustrated and upset, because if he expects me to be respectful and careful with my tone, he should give me the same things. I can’t pick him up and put him over my knee, which leaves me struggling to show him my upset. I should control my own attitude, but it’s not an easy thing to do in those situations. We didn’t end up going to bed angry. We both understood what went wrong.

Today, I’ve got a sick little boy here. One of the littles isn’t feeling well. He just wants to lay on the couch, under a pile of blankets. I’ve had it with all this crud making everybody sick! I swear, it’s been nonstop! I’m already ready for this day to be over with. It’s only 9:30am, so it’s going to be a long one, I’m afraid.

~Simon & Garfunkel

Jackie put up flyers, about our missing kitty cat, throughout our entire neighborhood, today. I’m so happy to report, just a couple of hours after she finished, I got a notification that someone had him. It was one of our neighbors! They’d found him, and brought him inside their home. They’d taken good care of Gary, and were glad to find who he belongs to. We are all overjoyed to have him home again!!!

Now that everyone is safe and sound, again, things can get back to normal here. I’ve got a ham in the oven, for supper. It’s going to be a much better evening, tonight.

Besides all of that exciting news, it’s been a fairly uneventful day. The littles were real good for me. My kids are great. I’m going to make myself some hot cocoa, and enjoy a few quiet moments.

How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kinda life would that be
Oh I, I need you in my arms, need you to hold

~Leann Rimes

I’m so so sad, today. My kitty, Gary, must’ve snuck out the door when Justin and Jackie left here, late last night. We didn’t realize he was missing, until this morning. We’ve searched everywhere. We’ve alerted our neighbors. We’ve made posts on social media sites. I’ve got him marked as missing, through his microchip company. I can’t begin to imagine what this must feel like, to have a child missing. Gary is our sweet pet. We love him. I can’t stop my mind from considering some terrible possibilities. I know he’s “just a cat”, but he’s our boy, and we’re all hurting. I can’t write anymore, because it’s bringing even more tears to my already swollen eyes.

~Survivor

Yesterday afternoon, Jackie came by. After the littles left, her and I went and did some shopping. We mostly just wanted to get out, so we could spend time together. When we got home, the boys were here. They were ready for the gym, but as I cooked the tacos I was making for supper, they decided they were going to skip the gym. Since they weren’t going to work out, Mj decided to give them a home workout, instead.

After they left, Adam and I went and took our shower. We were goofing off, as usual. I folded my hands together, and then sort of raised both middle fingers up and down. Adam caught me. He wasn’t mad, because we were just screwing around. He gave my behind a couple smacks, and I decided not to push that boundary any further…for now.

Today, it’s cool, rainy, and dreary. It’s mid 50’s out, but it feels chilly. I’m so glad it’s Friday! This weekend, Justin and Jackie are coming over for a pizza and movie night. Caseys gas stations have recently replaced a couple old ones here. We’re going to order Caseys pizza. It’s some darned good pizza, and I’m not even a big fan of pizza!

I’m going to go keep these little people entertained. They’re getting bored now, and looking for mischief and mayhem.

A million thoughts in my head
Should I let my heart keep listening
‘Cause up ’til now I’ve walked the line
Nothing lost but something missing

I can’t decide
What’s wrong, what’s right
Which way should I go?

If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don’t know what I’m feeling
Is this just a dream?

~Dove Cameron

This was my brother and I’s text conversation, this afternoon…

Ain’t nobody ever love nobody
The way that I love you

I hope you understand…

I can’t believe how much it turns me on
Just to be your man

~Josh Turner

Two years ago, when Adam and I began looking to buy a new home, I gave our realtor a list of the things I wanted, and the things that were absolute musts. I wanted a fenced in yard, a fireplace, and high ceilings. I insisted on a basement, a culdesac, meaning not a home built on a busy street, and no homeowner’s association! As I’m sure has been made obvious, I don’t like to be told what to do (and not do). There are very few people I am willing to submit to, and an HOA ain’t one of them. I’ll plant whatever trees and bushes I like. We will paint our window shutters the color we choose to. Our grass will be cut how we like it. It was a bit of a challenge, finding something that met our requirements, but our realtor was able to get us into a home that had every single one of my boxes checked! Looking back, we were so very fortunate. We were able to find exactly what we wanted, at a time where locking in interest rates at 3% was available to us. Unfortunately, just a couple short years later, the quest to buy a home is a much more daunting one. Jackie really wants to buy a home near ours. I want that too! However, these cookie cutter “McMansions”, inside neighborhoods with cutsie names written in brick walls at the entrance gates, just aren’t so easily attainable. Adam and I were lucky. We happened to buy at just the right time. Since then, things have changed drastically. The fact that it’s so tough for them to get into a home they can afford is not their fault. It’s not because Adam and I are more responsible. It’s not because Justin isn’t a hard worker, making good money. It’s a game of chance, and we just so happened to land in the right spot, at the right time. I feel sad, for them. I understand completely the desires they have, to own their forever home. Justin worries that Jackie might see him as a failure, if he admits to her that he doesn’t feel it’s the right time to be buying, yet. Adam told me, the other day, about how Justin had confided in him these concerns. Bless his heart! It would truly devastate me, if Adam believed that I would ever see him as “not enough”, because he couldn’t give me everything I wanted, right when I wanted it. I don’t think Jackie would ever think that of Justin, either. Regardless, it’s how Justin is feeling about himself. It’s amazing, how these good men so fiercely desire to give the woman they love everything they could ever want. It’s such a privilege to have a man who’s not only willing, but happy, to work their butt off to provide. Their biggest complaint, is their frustration with still worrying that it’s just not enough. I’ve told Adam, I would rather live with him inside a cardboard box, than be in this big house alone. I mean that, too! The fact that we can’t always get every single thing we want, right when we decide we want it, is irrelevant. The fact that he literally lives to provide his family with all the things they could ever need or want, is worth more to me than any shiny new thing. Jackie has a man who genuinely loves her. I’m blessed with a man who does the same for me. Whether we live in a mansion on a hill, a tiny apartment, or a damn cardboard box, we have something money could never buy. We have something many people only dream of possessing. We have men who devote their entire existence to taking good care of their families. Men who sacrifice their own desires, to make ours possible. All they really require, in return, is our recognition of their efforts. I told Justin, “You’re a good man and a good provider.” He said to me, “You have no idea how much that means to me.” I believe that. Men need to hear this, from us. Our husbands need to know we see them. We appreciate them. Tell your man thank you, once in awhile. Let him know you are aware of how much he is doing for you, and for his family. He will walk around like he’s 10 foot tall and bulletproof, when he hears that from you. It’s such a simple transaction. I get a husband who will hang the moon, for me, if I ask him to. All he asks, is that I notice him. To all the husbands, fathers, and good men out there, You’re a good man. You’re a good provider. You are appreciated. ❤️