Tomorrow is Wyatt’s birthday. He had an all day wrestling tournament, today, so we set up his birthday present. I bought him new bedding, for his room. We also gave him a TV, for his bedroom. I think he’s going to be surprised, when he gets home. I can’t wait to show him! Jackie and Justin came over. She helped me clean his room up, and get everything set up. He took his curtains down, when the guys all hung our outside Christmas lights. We couldn’t find where the world he put his curtain rod? So, I couldn’t hang his curtains, yet. Otherwise, I think it looks great in his room.

I’ve got a honey ham and some baked potatoes in the oven, for supper. Jackie and I decided to go do a little shopping. We went out to a couple of stores. We saw the bell ringers out front of Walmart. The Christmas season is officially upon us! Now, we’re just hanging out, waiting for supper to be ready. We don’t really have any plans for where our night will go. As usual, we’ll wing it. As always, it’ll most certainly be a great time.

~Paul McCartney

I’m literally finding a little pause in my night to write here. It’s been a busy day with little ones. We made some reindeer, with their handprints for antlers.

Justin and Jackie came over. We all sat and talked and laughed. Jackie and I weren’t ready for the night to end, so she talked the boys into watching a movie.

I literally have nothing else to write…but I promised myself I’d write everyday. So, this is my day.

~Todd Herfindal

Last night, as I sat downstairs, enjoying my cocoa and movie playing on TV, something happened. I saw two mice run past, on the floor!

I placed some of the sticky traps, that our pest control place leaves for us, all around. Also, I’ve got a little friend down here with me, tonight. I’m hoping Gary will help to get them suckers out of here.

Wyatt had a construction competition, today. He got second place! He won a whole bunch of tools. He was so proud 😊

Adam is starting to feel much better. I’m so anxious for everyone to be feeling well, again. My voice is also slowly improving.

It was beautiful outside, today. 75 degrees and sunny. Looking into the forecast, however, it appears Thanksgiving day will be cold. The high is only 44 degrees.

I was looking back at photos, from this time last year, earlier. It’s incredible how much my babies have grown! They’ve changed so much. The changes just one year can bring, never cease to amaze me. It’s been a real good year, though. I find myself appreciating a whole lot, lately. I’m grateful for everything this past year has brought to me and my family.

~Dylan Scott

Poor baby Emma is feeling just miserable. All she wanted, today, was to be held. The other 2 littles are feeling much better. They’re back to their ornery selves. So, it was not the easiest thing trying to keep up with them, while giving the baby the snuggles she needed.

Adam is still feeling crappy, too. Not worse, but not better. I feel great! My voice is still hoarse as heck, but I don’t feel sick at all. Our kids are also all fine. We learned why Adam and Justin are feeling so poorly, while the rest of us recovered quickly. It’s Covid…. The kids and I have had Covid like 6 times. The guys had never gotten sick with it. It makes sense that’s why they’re struggling like they are.

I’m sitting downstairs, watching a Christmas movie. I’ve got my vanilla cappuccino, and I’m wearing one of my Christmas pajamas. It’s actually warm outside. I’ve got the windows open. Still, I’m enjoying the cozy feel.

After the little kiddos left, Jackie and I went and did some shopping. We haven’t been able to get out together as much, lately. She helped me set up some cute decorations, on my kitchen cabinet tops. We also added a few things out front of our house. We planned out who’s making what, for our Thanksgiving dinner. Jackie’s making an apple pie, and the mashed potatoes. I’m making my caramel apple cheesecake. I always make it, for Thanksgiving. I’ll have to share that recipe 🙂 I’ll also be cooking the rest of our sides. Adam will fry the turkey, and Justin will be smoking another turkey. We’re going to be eating turkey for weeks! It was a lot of fun hanging out with Jackie, today. I needed to get out with her, for awhile. I’m looking forward to the holidays, next week. We’ll all be able to spend lots of time together.

That was the extent of my Wednesday. Perfectly imperfect, and I’m really grateful for all the good.

~Dinosaur Pile-Up

This darned virus is knocking all of us down. My voice went from bad, to worse. All I could do was make quiet squeaky sounds, yesterday. That made it much more difficult to look after three little toddlers. They wanted to touch and explore all of the new Christmas decorations around the house. I found myself clapping to grab their attention, so that I could get down on their level and have my barely audible voice be heard. My squeaky “no no, don’t touch please” wasn’t quite as assertive, which also presented a challenge.

Last night, Adam began to feel crummy. He had chills, body aches, and was extra sleepy. I could tell he didn’t relish having to get up and go to work, this morning. Wyatt also woke up with a sore throat. I’m downstairs, with the little kiddos. They’re going back and forth between playing, and then climbing under blankies and watching cartoons.

We’ve mostly just been taking it easy. Everybody needs extra rest right now. I don’t normally let them watch TV for much of the day, but this is a good time for an exception to that rule.

That’s about all the “news” I have to report here. Not a whole lot of excitement at my house! Hopefully everyone will be back to good very soon.

Let it be Christmas everywhere
In the hearts of all people both near and afar
Christmas everywhere
Feel the love of the season wherever you are
On the small country roads lined with green mistletoe
Big city streets where a thousand lights glow

Let it be Christmas everywhere.

~Alan Jackson

We got most everything all set up! I do have one more Christmas tree to set up, downstairs. I’m planning to have the little kiddos help me with that. My big kids did a great job, yesterday! I had so much fun. This has been one of the best weekends. There is just nothing better than spending time with people I love, laughing, and enjoying one another. Everyone got into the holiday spirit, including Adam.

The kids are outside. They’ve got a football game going. T is still here. I’m just sitting downstairs, watching them play out the window. It truly doesn’t get much better than this. ❤️

Our good friend, Biscuit, is in jail. He’s been there since August. He’s not a bad guy, he just does dumb shit. He refused to get a driver’s license. He’s got several “quirks”, like that. He always says “I’m an outlaw, sweetheart”, when I ask him why he is the way he is. I won’t go into details, about why he’s incarcerated. He just did more of his “outlaw shit”, and got busted. I’ve written to him. We sure do miss him. He’s the kind of man who would never hurt a woman or a child. He doesn’t steal, lie, or cheat. He’s also the kind of man who wouldn’t hesitate to hurt anyone who hurt his friends or family.

We have a friend coming over, to spend the next couple of days hanging out with us. Mj’s best friend will also be here. I’m waiting on Jackie to wake up, so she can come help me get started decorating my house for Christmas. I’m excited to get that started.

Adam went into work, today. He should be home in a couple hours. The kids and I are just hanging out. They helped me pick up the house. I changed the sheets and made the bed, in our guest room, so our friend will be comfortable. I got a little cold, from the little ones I’m babysitting for. It wasn’t terrible. Just stuffed up, sore throat, and a cough that won’t stop. I’m feeling much better, but now I’m losing my voice. That almost always happens, as I’m recovering from a cold or flu. I took a long hot shower. I put some drops of my eucalyptus oil on the shower floor, to help open my airways. That always helps to make me feel better. I want to get silly, and have fun with friends, tonight. We’re going to grill chicken breasts, for supper. I’m planning to make scalloped potatoes, and a pasta salad, to go with. I’ve been eating much more than usual, now that I’ve had the tiny kiddos all day. I make them good breakfasts. Then, I eat some. I make a yummy lunch. I munch on that as well. We have snacks, which I generally partake in. Then, I make supper for everyone, and scarf that down. I’ve been consistently hovering around 96 pounds. As much as I’m eating, chasing after little ones has definitely got me burning extra calories!

Our kitten, Gary, is sure getting big! He loves to be near the kids. I have so many pictures of him laying where they’re playing.

My kids are doing fantastic. I’m proud of all the academic and athletic achievements they’ve been making. Adam’s been happy and “light”, lately. Work’s been going great, for him. We really have no serious troubles. My behind has remained unspanked, too. Of course, there’s plenty of silly, playful, gentle smacks. But, nothing serious in a good while. I’m sure I’ll have things to say, and pictures to post, tomorrow, after our evening spent with friends. For now, there isn’t a whole lot going on. I like it this way, though. It’s nice. I’m attempting to commit to writing something here daily. Some days, there isn’t much to report. Still, it’s helpful to be in the habit of expressing myself in words everyday. So, for today, this is the extent of my thoughts.

~Simple Plan

Today, I helped the little ones make a couple of Christmas themed crafts. It was a fairly relaxed kind of day. After they left, Jackie came by. We hung out awhile, and talked and laughed. I just made some pizzas for our supper, tonight.

Now, I’m sitting downstairs. I’ve got a corny Christmas movie on the TV. My dogs are snuggled next to me. It’s cozy and comfy.

Tomorrow, Mj’s best friend “T” is coming. We’re going to get out some of our Christmas decorations, and begin the season. I’m so excited! I told Adam about this plan, this evening. He said, “That’s fine”. For him, that’s the closest thing to excitement I could’ve gotten from him!

It’s a quiet, unbothered day. It’s a perfect kind of day.

This game of life plays heavy on my heart and
Love is tough, but loneliness is twice as hard and
I’ll carry that ’bout everywhere I go
And they say pressure makes diamonds, how the hell am I still coal?

~Dylan Gossett

I haven’t written about my mother in a good while. The thing is, I haven’t needed to. I feel a vast empty nothing, when she comes to my mind. I’ve talked with Jackie, several times, about how my heart must be (at least) somewhat made of stone? When I make the decision to say “goodbye” to something, or someone, it’s final. There just isn’t any going back again. It’s over. I’ve successfully given up a lot of unhealthy habits. When I chose to do it, that was just it. I was done. And, I stayed done. When I put something down, and decide I’ll never again pick it up, I absolutely mean it. Goodbye is not a word that I use haphazardly. My great grandpa never said it. It was always “see ya later”, when he hung up the phone, or hugged us as we parted. When he died, I was seventeen years old. I had the most realistic, and beautiful, dream. He pulled up in his green Ford Taurus. Funny story about that car. He’d wrecked it, in Arizona. Rather than admit he’d had an accident, he went and bought an identical car, and said nothing to anyone. This was eventually discovered, but I still think that’s hilarious! Anyway, in my dream, he pulled up. He got out of his car, and he talked to me awhile. He told me to “be a good kid”, as he always said to me. He hugged me, and he said “goodbye”, as he walked to his car. As he pulled away, he waved to me. I knew he had come to tell me goodbye. After that dream, I never say “goodbye” to the people in my life. It’s always “see ya later”. Jackie has picked up on this, over the years, and often says the same now. Adam also knows this, so he doesn’t tell me “goodbye”, when he hangs up the phone, or walks out the door. Every once in awhile, he slips, and will say it. He actually did that, just last Friday.

He was helping Justin move a washer and dryer into their place. Then they had to hook it all up. Apparently, that didn’t go as smoothly as they’d expected it to. Jackie tried to text and call Justin, and he wasn’t responding. She was here at my house, hanging out with me, while the boys did that. So, I called Adam. I knew he’d answer. He did. However, he had been grouchy, and he told me “goodbye”, when we hung up. It was kind of funny, because before I could even give him any grief about it, he’d texted me in his attempt to correct his mistake.

All of this to say, I take goodbye very seriously. When I say goodbye to an addiction, or a bad habit, I mean it. I never say it, unless I genuinely mean it. It’s like making a covenant with myself. I don’t break my promises. I had never said those words to someone I loved, until I spoke them to MiKayla’s dad. And, that was it. The only other person I’ve said it to, is my mother. Although, she wasn’t here to hear it. I simply spoke it into my soul. I had to say goodbye to her. I had to let go. Let go of the hurt, the disappointment. To let go of what I wish had been, or would be, and accept what is. There is a freedom in allowing myself to do that. That’s not to say it’s easy for me to do, but so much of my joy was being robbed by my own thoughts being consumed with things (and someone) I cannot change. The serenity prayer says, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference”. The definition of “serenity” is, “the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled”. I suspect this is why my quiet goodbye to her has created the comfort and peace that I’ve felt from within.

This is the best Fall I’ve had, yet! October has always been the toughest month of the year, for me. I had a bad day or two, but nothing like the ones I’ve experienced before. I feel so much relief, and a sense of accomplishment, knowing I have gotten myself to the “other side” of some very deep pain that I’ve had to fight my way out of. I did it. I understand life is most certainly going to lead me into more “holes”, but I am assured I can, and will, get through them. I’m comforted by the people around me, who’ve been here with me through the tough times. The people who never hesitate to climb into the “holes” I’m stuck inside, and help me back out. I know my dad, my sister, and my brother love me. I know they always want the best for me. The people I need though, are Jackie and Adam. They’re my true “ride or die”. I’m missing Jackie this evening. I’ve been so busy, and exhausted, taking care of these tiny children now. I want to go craft shopping. I want to go downstairs and craft. I want to sit in my kitchen, and have the energy to talk and laugh with her. We need a day to hang out again, soon. ❤️

Loved and hated
Extremely motivated
Overcame the pain I feel rehabilitated
Never let the frustration ever get the best of me
At times I would handle most my problems too aggressively
Kept to myself I was sick of people lying to me
Lifestyle of the rich and famous it ain’t all pretty
Glamorize the city lights but damn I love the humble towns
Since I reached that natural high I’m never coming down

What if these broadway lights don’t shine
Like they’re supposed to
When you work so hard that you lose everyone
You’re close to
Can’t stand on stage, can’t sing these songs
When people don’t know the words
Nashville can make you hurt
These dreams should’ve came with a pain pill

~Austin Tolliver & Bezz Believe

My dad texted me, to let me know he won’t be home for Thanksgiving, this year. Nashville has a way of devouring people in the business of music. All your time and energy are put into people who will suck you dry, and then leave you when there’s nothing left to take from you. Meanwhile, the people who’ve been your biggest supporters, through it all, sit in last place. Priorities unravel to the point you forget to remember what (and who) truly matter. So, it’s just going to be Adam, our kids, Justin, Jackie, and me at our Thanksgiving dinner. Oh well. I’m sure we’ll have a great celebration, even if it’s just us.