Me and you, and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

~The Turtles

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Now, two flags fly above my land that really sum up how I feel
One is the colors that fly high and proud, the red, the white, the blue
The other one’s got a rattlesnake with a simple statement made
“Don’t Tread On Me” is what is says and I’ll take that to my grave

Because this is me
I’m proud to be American and strong in my beliefs
And I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again
‘Cause I’ve never needed government to hold my hand
And I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again
‘Cause my family’s always fought and died to save this land
And a country boy is all I’ll ever be

~Aaron Lewis feat. George Jones & Charlie Daniels

I actually spent a lot of time in Charlie Daniels park, over in Mt Juliet, TN. I remember climbing the rock wall, and the water park area. There’s lots of sprinklers, with water flowing out of various shapes and kid friendly designs. I brought my kids there, to play, several times. There’s a picnic area. We used to pack a lunch, or buy Subway sandwiches, and sit on picnic tables, in the shaded area. Charlie Daniels died, not too long ago. He was a truly good man.

I haven’t had the littles, the last couple of days. I’m not gonna lie, I’m enjoying this “freedom”. The schedule, with them, will be changing. I’ll have them 2-3 days per week, now. I’m so good with that! Yesterday was busy. My kiddos were home. The school allowed them to leave school early, to watch the eclipse. We stood outside, on the deck, and watched as the sun slowly hid behind our moon. We had a full eclipse, back in (I think) 2017. I stood outside, with my babies, to watch that one, too.

Nature, and space, have such a powerful way of reminding us just how “small” we really are. Not only did we witness an incredible solar eclipse, we had a crazy pop up storm, yesterday evening. Adam and I were out back, just hanging out. The sky began to grow very dark, to our North. You could feel the air changing. The smell of impending rain was obvious. We hurriedly picked up things that needed to be brought inside. As soon as we stepped in the house, the rain came. Then, our phones alerted us to a severe thunderstorm warning in our area. Before we knew it, we had strong winds howling, and carrying the rains sideways. Soon, the hail began to rain down, too. It’s almost beautiful. Despite my fears, it’s hard to ignore the beauty of nature thrusting itself upon us. It’s as if we’re being reminded of our own ignorance. We can’t truly predict our futures. Not with precision, anyway. Or maybe, it’s our insignificance. We are all such a tiny piece of the world, the universe. We’re at the mercy of everything that surrounds us. Things we see, and the things we can’t know are lurking around, waiting to show us who (or what’s) in charge. Readying itself to challenge our naively established belief that we can ever prepare ourselves fully.

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I spent today catching up on laundry and housework. It’s rainy here, again. The weather forecast is showing rain, until Friday. It’s humid, and feels warm. The temperatures are only mid 60’s, but the nights don’t cool down much. So, the house is a little stuffy. I actually cut our AC on, on Easter. It was so hot in here! Since we were having company, and going to be cooking a ham and several other things in the oven, all afternoon, I decided it was necessary to cool our house down a little bit. It remained on for a few more days, and then we got cool. It was cold enough, at night, to require the furnace to be cut on, again. Our thermostat has been set to “off”, for several days now. I do turn the fan onto “circulate”, to help move the air through the house. But, neither our furnace, nor the AC, is running.

While I was cleaning up in the kitchen, the song I used for this title played. I thought of Adam. I remembered the way my teenage brain used to completely ignore boys like him. He was one of the guys who never cared to keep up with current trends, or bothered to wear clean boots. His hands were stained in grease, from whatever vehicle he’d been working on. He had a rifle hanging in the back window of his extended cab pickup truck. He just was not “my type”. That is, until he was. Adam won me over. His dirty boots remind me how hard he’s been working. His calloused hands are the reason my own hands are soft and pretty. He puts his family first, always. He’s never selfish. In fact, the only reason he does have some good boots, or new sneakers and joggers for working out, is because I went out and got them for him. He truly doesn’t give a damn about the way he looks, or what he’s wearing, so long as his wife and kids are happy with what we’ve got. Ya know, a very wealthy man could hand his wife a million bucks, and people would be jealous. They’d praise his generosity. If that money is simply a fraction of what he has, it’s nothing to him. Having a man who works as hard as Adam does, and then gives every single dime of his earnings to his family…that means more to me. He sacrifices himself daily, for me. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I am so blessed.

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I’ve been putting lots of pictures together, intending to make a slideshow video for Mikayla to play at her graduation party, next month. I cannot believe she is about to graduate high school 🥹

I’m so blessed. Looking through these pictures and videos just makes me extra sure of it.

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I’ve kinda been overwhelmed, lately. Like, there’s just too much “on my plate”. I’m working to cut down on some of the things that are requiring so much of my time and energy. This is a busy time of year, anyhow. The end of the school year is always crazy. Not to mention, I’ve got a graduation party to plan, this year. I’m very close to having some more of my own time, to be able to spend doing things that I love to do, like write here! I promise, I’ll be back very soon. ❤️

~Breaking Benjamin

There are a handful of my “regulars”, people who often comment on my posts, who I genuinely feel connected to. I’m sharing such intimate details of my own life here, and over time, I gather bits and pieces from my followers comments. I had an older gentleman, “AZpop”, who would comment after every single one of my blog posts. I haven’t heard from him in over a year. I think of him, and worry and wonder what’s happened in his life. There are a few more folks I feel I’ve gotten to know, that I often wonder about as well. For what it’s worth, I wanted to say that you, my readers, mean a whole lot to me. I genuinely hope that everyone is doing well, and I pray for y’all when I’m made aware of your struggles. Paddlefan, Nora, Vickie, Annie, and all who come across my writing here, please know you matter to me. I appreciate all the support and encouragement I’ve received so much. I truly do look forward to hearing from everyone, and enjoy learning about you, your lives, and your opinions. I needed to say this, tonight.

Love, Me

So bum me a cigarette, buy me a beer till i’m happy to be here,
Happy to be here.

~Noah Gundersen

I just don’t have a whole lot to say! It was a pretty good week. I had the littles, of course. It’s been nice weather, so we’ve been outside a lot.

My sister sent me a video of Pj, a couple days ago. She’s getting soooo big!!

Wyatt had a baseball game, this afternoon. There’s some great pictures, from it. He’s been pitching, recently. He’s doing a great job, too!

My dad (Poppy) was in a recent TV episode that came out. I’m so damn proud of him! He’s had several magazine articles written and short pieces done about him, but this was an entire episode dedicated to him and his work. It was so cool! I would love to share more about him here, but I just don’t want to destroy any last semblance of anonymity I have left, with this blog.

I went to the store, this afternoon, to grab a few things we still need for our Easter dinner. Poppy, his girlfriend, Justin and Jackie, Adam, our kids, and me will all be here. A friend of our daughter also asked to come participate in our egg hunt, next Sunday afternoon. Of course, I told her she’s welcome to!

It’s been a quiet weekend. We’re planning to play some badminton, tomorrow afternoon, with the kids. This evening, Adam is watching a movie upstairs, and I’m in the basement, watching TV. We had a big supper. All the kids were here, plus Mikayla’s boyfriend. It was fun, sitting around the table and being silly with everyone. I told Mikayla, a couple days ago, about her graduation present. I didn’t want her to make any plans over the time I’d booked for our trip. So, I informed her. Mikayla, Jackie, and I are going to be staying on Alabama’s Gulf Shores for 4 days. There’s tons of fun stuff to do. Mikayla was super excited about it, too! I’m so happy to have been able to give her a graduation gift that she’s this thrilled about. I went ahead and booked our reservations for shortly after her graduation. We’ll be staying somewhere with a pool, hot tub, a big balcony, a kitchen, and plenty of space for the three of us. We’ll be right by the ocean, too. I can’t wait! Well, maybe I can? Time’s already going way too fast.

Adam and my anniversary is coming up, next Tuesday. That’s the 13th anniversary of our “church wedding”. We were legally married, in secret, April 14, 2009. We were “church married”, in front of our family and friends, March 26, 2011. I truly mean this, I’m more in love with him, after all the years we’ve been together. I’m more attracted to him. I know him better. He knows me better. We’re often able to understand what each other needs and wants, without a word being spoken. I sincerely hope that he feels I’m as good of a wife as I do about him as my husband. I’m pretty certain he’s as crazy about me, as I am about him. While I’m not so naive to believe our marriage won’t require more work than we’ve already invested, I am confident we will be one of the married couples who “makes it”. I imagine us growing old together. We’ve weathered plenty of storms, already. No struggle has ever been so great, that I’ve even considered the possibility of tossing my marriage away. I’m so grateful that I found my very own “Prince Charming”, and he’s all mine.

I’ve been hanging onto my streak of avoiding trouble with Adam. It’s literally been so long, I can’t even remember the last time I was actually in real trouble. Everything has been so happy, and easy. I know it makes for a pretty boring blog, but oh my gosh do I enjoy it!

I also bought tickets for Jackie and I to go to a Nashville “ghost tour and true crime event”, this Summer. I wanted to do something fun with her, in lieu of a “bachelorette party”. She’s a huge true crime fanatic, so I think she’ll love it. I’m excited for all the fun and new adventures to come, but I’m also doing my best to enjoy every moment right now. I just want to soak in the easy, “light” way life feels. Everything is good. My family is good. Everyone is good. What an amazing blessing, to be able to say that.

I could use some back then, right now
’98 Chevy with the tailgate down
Fm only with the gold up loud
Burnin’ up the night
Innocent and wild
I could use a little more wide open
Back when all I wanted was the hand I was holdin’
Livin’ in the moment
With the good time crowd
Makin’ life count
Damn, I could use a little more
Back then, right now

~Tyler Hubbard

This week’s been a fairly typical one. I do have a little bruise on my butt, from a few days ago. Really, Adam and I were just messing around, though. Our shower time shenanigans just led to me playfully slapping Adam, and then him doing the same to my behind. It didn’t even hurt that bad, but I bruise fairly easily. It’s been a great time with my people. This morning, Adam and Wyatt cut down an evergreen tree out in the front of our house. It was just too large for the space it had been put into. It was growing into the house, and we decided it needed to go. Now, we’re going to find something smaller, that fits this space.

Justin came over, and helped my boys load up the remnants of the evergreen tree. They took it away, and went for a stump grinder. Jackie and I went to the store. We got all the stuff for sides, to go with the ribs Adam was grilling later. We all played cornhole, for awhile. Then, while the boys got the grill started, I threw the football with my kids and a few of their friends. We also set up the volleyball net, and decided bad minton would be fun to play. The boys ran to a Dick’s Sporting near us, and grabbed some badminton rackets and birdies, for us. We played badminton until supper was ready. Everything was delicious!

Everyone has gone home, now. I’m just sitting downstairs, watching Sons of Anarchy, (for like the 18th time). My most favorite shows are “I Love Lucy” and “SOA”. Such a crazy contradiction, as far as content goes, but I absolutely love them both.

The weather has been mostly gorgeous. All the trees are blooming. Adam and Wyatt cut the grass, last Sunday, for the first time this year. I’m itching to get some flowers to plant, but I feel like I should wait just a little bit longer, so I’m positive there’ll be no more freezing temperatures. We’re almost there, though!

Mikayla got this, in the mail, last week.

My baby is about to “fly” away from our “nest”. She came home from work, a couple nights ago. She walked into my bathroom, while I was getting ready for bed. She asked me for a hug. I looked into her eyes, and saw hurt and sadness in them. I asked her what was the matter?! She started to bawl, and told me it had just hit her, she wouldn’t be able to talk to me everyday like this, much longer. She realized she wouldn’t be here, to eat supper with us all, much longer. She told me she’s afraid. She asked me, “What if I hate it there?” and, “What if I flunk out?!” I reassured her, she most definitely will not flunk out. I told her about my own experience with leaving home, around her age. There are definitely moments that are difficult, but it’s also so much fun. She’s going to grow and learn and become independent. Even so, no matter what, we will always be here for her. And, she can come home and see us all anytime she wants to! In fact, she’d better! Mikayla got into the engineering program. She will be studying to become an aerospace engineer. I find that absolutely incredible! I’m so unbelievably proud of my girl! She’s been busy searching for a dorm roommate, and making a list of the things she’ll be needing. I asked her to start a gift registry, so that we could all pick things she would be able to use, when everyone’s getting her graduation gifts. I’m also thinking of taking her on just a girl’s trip, as a graduation gift from Adam and I. He’s totally on board with the idea, too. So, I think I’m going to plan a fun trip for her and I to take together, before she moves to Knoxville. Even though it’s not that far, it is far enough. It’s far enough to have me worrying. I suppose that’s what every parent likely experiences, when their child goes to college. It’s just a first, for me. I’m so going to miss our daily chats. I’m not going to be able to look out and see her and her friends practicing their color guard flag routine, in our backyard. I won’t have so many extra kids here for supper, most nights. I’m going to miss the hell out of her. But, I’m trying to be strong and brave, because that’s what mothers are supposed to do, isn’t it? I’m also excited for her. I’m proud of her. I’m confident that she will succeed in all the things she’s setting out to do. My girl is a shining star, and she’s about to take all the beautiful light she carries, and share it with the rest of the world. She’ll never not be my baby, but she’s also going to be a whole lot of important things to other people than me. That’s the goal, as a parent. To raise our kids into strong and capable people. For them to arrive at a place where they no longer need their parents. I just hope she never stops wanting to share her life with me, the way she’s always done.

My world is changing. Life is moving forward. The pace seems all too quick, these days, but I’m helpless to change that. My babies are growing up, as I grow older too. I mean it when I say, being their mama is, and always will be, my greatest achievement. I literally beam with pride, when I talk about my babies. As they go out into the world, and show off their amazing abilities, a part of me swells with pride in knowing that I created that amazing person. They’re a part of me, and I’m a part of them. So, everything they do matters to me. Every achievement. Every fear. Every hurt. Every tear. I feel it all deeply. Nobody warned me about this part of motherhood. I’m honestly just “winging it”. I’m doing my very best, and when I look at my babies, I guess I’ve done a pretty good job.

Well hello T-R-O-U-B-L-E
Tell me what in the world
You doin’ A-L-O-N-E
Yeah say “hey” good L-double-O-K-I-N-G
Well I smell T-R-O-U-B-L-E

~Travis Tritt

Jackie and I got to the hospital, only to learn Biscuit had been sent home. So, we drove to his house. His brother, and his brother’s husband, had just gotten him home. We sat and visited with Biscuit, his brother, his brother in law, and his Mama. They’re all such sweet people! Poor Biscuit was in a lot of pain, and frustrated with his situation, but he was so touched that we showed up for him.

Saturday, Adam helped Justin put a new alternator in his truck. Adam called me, Saturday evening, and asked if I would like to go out to eat with him. I took a shower, did my hair and makeup, and waited for him. When he got home, he showered and got himself ready, and then we went out to eat. Wyatt had had a baseball game, and was passed out in his bed. Mj was spending the night over at Justin and Jackie’s. Mikayla is visiting with her biological dad, for a few days. So, it was just the two of us. It was a lot of fun, spending some time hanging out just me and my husband!

On Sunday, the weather was absolutely gorgeous! Justin and Jackie came over, and we played some cornhole out back. Adam grilled burgers and hotdogs, and we all sat out on the deck. It was a perfect weekend.

Yesterday, I got in a little bit of trouble, with Adam. It’s a long story, but I had overpaid on one of our bills, in January. I hadn’t expected to owe anything again, for awhile. I decided to go ahead and check on that utility bill, yesterday, and discovered that even with my over payment, there was still like $75 left due…and that was due a few days ago. So, it was now late. It was an honest to God mistake! I didn’t have to even tell Adam about it, but I did. Considering I fessed up right away, and he understood how that happened, he wasn’t really upset with me. I’d told him about it, while we showered, last night. When we got out, and were drying ourselves off, he sat on the edge of our bathtub. I gave him my “side eye”, and did my best to talk him out of spanking me. But, he insisted that he had to. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, and he had to slowly pry them off of him, so he could move me over his lap. He wasn’t angry with me, but he did give me a few swats that definitely stung. Then, he held onto me awhile, and thanked me for telling him anyway. Despite the fact that it could’ve been much worse, I really hated to get spanked, because I’ve done such a darned great job, for such a long time! I guess I was most frustrated with myself.

When we went to bed, we made love, and Adam kept me wrapped inside his arms all night long. I don’t have the littles this week, until Friday, and it’s my kids Spring Break, so I’ve been able to sleep in. I’m sooo enjoying this little break! I’ve been working on catching up on housework that’s needing done, and hanging out with my babies. As much as I do love the littles that I watch, I’ve missed the time and energy I haven’t had to give to my own family and home. It’s nice to have a little time to “recharge”. Jackie and I are planning to craft, later. It’s been too long, since we’ve had an afternoon to hang out and craft some new things! We picked up an old end table, someone had at the end of their driveway, a couple weeks ago. We need to get that painted and put new knobs on it. It’s so much fun to remake old things into something new and beautiful. Just writing about it has me in the mood to get to work now. I think I’ll give Jackie a call, and see what she’s up to.

You can always put a rain check in his hand 
‘Til you can’t

If you got a chance, take it, take it while you got a chance
If you got a dream, chase it, ’cause a dream won’t chase you back
If you’re gonna love somebody
Hold ’em as long and as strong and as close as you can
‘Til you can’t

~Cody Johnson

I’m having a real hard time, right now, y’all. My friend, Biscuit, isn’t alright. He’s dying. Writing those words, just now, he’s dying, has caused my tears to escape from my eyes. I’ve fought so hard to keep those emotions held inside. When tears threaten to form, I do everything that I can to force those thoughts and feelings away. There’s just something about saying (or even writing) the things I’ve known inside myself, that makes it more real. Admitting it out loud, makes it impossible to ignore the truth. Biscuit’s body is shutting down. He’s in pain, and he’s afraid. Hearing him tell me how scared that he is absolutely breaks my heart into pieces. I don’t know what to say, or do. I want to be encouraging. I want to tell him it’s all going to be alright. We know it isn’t true, though. He’s not okay. He’s dying. All the shit he put his body through, when he was younger, is making him pay now. That debt has been called due. Nobody deserves to experience the pain and the sadness, the fear and regrets that he is right now. Well, some people do. But, not him. Biscuit never hurt a soul. He’s a good man. He’s got a great big heart. He’s such an amazing friend to have known.

Jackie and I are about to head over to the hospital he’s at. It’s a selfish motive I have, I suppose. I need to hug him, and tell him I love him. I cannot live with myself if I can’t do that once more. I desperately want him to be certain that he does have people who care. That I’m one of them. That he isn’t alone. That he will be so incredibly missed. All the things we neglect to reassure our loved ones of, until we can’t.

Brave is eighteen wearing army green
Truth is in the words, in red we read
Proud is what you say about where you’re from
Heroes are daddies and mamas are love
Where right is right, and wrong is wrong, yeah we’re
Doing things a little different ’round here

~Riley Green

Mj had a choir contest, and they got first place! She was sooo excited and proud!

Wyatt had his first baseball game, last night, too. He’s getting so grown, and handsome. It makes me teary, just looking at photos like these.

I’ve got the littles, causing mayhem and mischief here, this morning. I’m trying to get some cleaning done, but every time I turn my back, there’s trouble!

We’ve had some gorgeous, Spring fever inducing, weather. I took the littles on a long walk, yesterday. Then, Adam and I took Oliver for a walk, yesterday evening. The warmth and sunshine sure do put me in a good mood! I really don’t have a whole lot else to say. I’m just happy, proud to be at this stage of my life, and grateful for today. If I could only bottle up the joy I feel, during days like these, I swear we’d achieve world peace.