In my first post I told y’all I was going to share another first next time. I’m going to talk about my very first spanking. I totally understand that not everyone who considers themselves a part of the DD community include spanking in their relationship. We do. Unlike most others I’ve read about, we hadn’t had a real conversation about discipline in our marriage. I never had to approach my husband and ask for this, and he didn’t [exactly] ask me either. This has been more of a gradual build up to where we are now. It started out sexual, and went to more of a playful thing. For the most part, that’s still what spanking is in our relationship. I get “love taps” almost daily. The first time it became somewhat more of a tool for discipline was about 8 years ago. I was being argumentative and witchy. We were just getting started in my husband’s small business and trying to sort and fill out heaps of paperwork. I was in a mood and I knew it. The words that flung from my mouth seemed to do so before my brain even got the memo. I wasn’t exactly being mean or hateful, just…witchy. Finally, Adam stood up, walked over to me, put his arm around my waist, bent me over, and gave me just a few stinging smacks. I didn’t get angry or yell at him. I honestly wasn’t even particularly shocked when it happened. Like I said, he’d been playfully spanking my rear end for a long time at that point. This felt different. Not that it necessarily physically hurt anymore than previous, playful spankings. It was his dominant, “I’ve had enough” emotion that made this time unique. Not only did my whole attitude change for the better, but I also saw Adam in a whole new version of the sexy, strong, masculine husband I’d married. I was incredibly attracted to this Adam 2.0 I’d just discovered! So, while this first might seem a little anticlimactic, for us it was the start of this thing we do now. I have no doubt that had I reacted badly that night, that would’ve been the first and last time Adam spanked me that way. He’s a big guy. 6’3” tall, muscular, played college football, but I’ve never seen him put his hands on anyone in anger. He has and would never hurt me. A few slaps on the butt can definitely smart, but for us, that is much different than bullying or abuse. This is consensual. I know I made my enthusiasm for what he’d done crystal clear by my attitude, my actions, and my excitement in the bedroom later that night. We have since had plenty of discussions about our relationship and TTWD. I don’t think either of us planned for DD to be part of our relationship, it just organically moved in that direction.

This is my very first blog post ever! I thought I’d start by telling y’all a little bit about me.

Age: 30ish

I’ve been married to my husband, Adam, for 11 years and we have 2 children together. We live in the American south and yes, we say y’all, like a lot. I’m a coffee-a-holic. I spend way too much time reading. I’m a Christian, but not a fan of religion. I refused to put the word “obey” in my wedding vows. Two months after our wedding, I actually began to develop a relationship with God and that scary little 4 letter word haunted me. Obey and submit made me think of a weak, incapable woman ruled by a tyrant of a husband, and yet I couldn’t get it off my mind. As my relationship with Christ grew, so did my understanding of those words. I even came to regret striking “obey” from my vows. My husband has to account for every sinful thing I do. Of course I should obey him! In our years together, I have made more than my share of mistakes. Adam has never once left me alone to clean up my messes. He has only ever asked the most reasonable of things from me.

1. Be honest. There is no truth that has ever pushed him away from me. Lies can destroy us, though.
2. Respect him and our marriage. We find plenty to disagree about, but being hateful, vulgar, and insulting him (especially in front of other people) are so incredibly disrespectful things to do. There is nothing I can’t tell him if I do it in a respectful way. In fact, about 95% of the time, I can convince him to do things my way when I simply share my opinions in a kinder, softer manner.
3. Keep my promises. If Adam says he’ll do something, you can bet it’ll get done! He is one of the most honorable people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. He trusts me to do what I say and say what I mean. This sort of falls into the whole “obey” category. He never barks orders at me, but if he asks me to do something (or NOT do) and I’ve agreed to or just kept silent on it rather than explain why I can’t/won’t do it, that’s how we define being disobedient.

I’ve read about all of the “D’s” in relationships like ours. They stand for Disrespect, Disobedience, Dishonesty, and I believe Dangerous? I suppose we have adopted those same values, or “rules” (that’s another touchy 4 letter word I’m working on).

So, I think I’ve laid out who I am and what I’m about. If there’s anything I’ve left out, feel free to just ask! In my next post, I’ll share another first time with y’all 😉