Why would a husband want to be responsible for keeping his wife “inside the lines”? She’s not a child. She knows right from wrong. As a wife, I don’t want to be treated like a child, either. I want to be treated like a wife. Some of my responsibilities mirror our children’s. Respect and obey those in authority over you. Doing those things for my husband makes sense to me. I remember awhile back, I was reading something that said men ranked respect as the top priority they look for in a spouse. Women’s top ranked quality was protect/provider. I asked Adam to rank this list they’d provided with his top 3. Respect also topped his list. I find that interesting. I shouldn’t be so surprised, but hearing my own husband tell me how important it is to him that I respect him was a wake up call. I needed to do better. I wanted to be a better wife for my husband. I will never lose my sass and fiery personality, but if I channel that into places that don’t disrespect Adam, it would be better for both of us. I have craved and so wanted my husband to command my honor, respect, obedience. Command because he holds himself to very high standards. He requires so much of himself to be the protector and provider that I need. Why shouldn’t I give him the thing that tops his list of priorities in me? Command because he is holding me accountable when I fail. The safe and secure feeling that washes over me is overwhelming when he won’t allow me to continue down an unhealthy path. When he says what he means, and means what he says. When he slaps my behind, gives me a look, and tells me to “keep it up”. It’s sexy. Maybe in that very moment I don’t necessarily see that, but I always will later think back to how unbelievably attractive it is to me when Adam rightly tells me no. He is no tyrant. He’s not unfair or unreasonable. He has appropriately dealt with plenty of bullshit I’ve thrown at him, especially the last few weeks. When I feel completely certain that he means what he says, I will usually listen (obey). If and, let’s be real, when I test him and call him on the promises he made earlier, without following through, his threats are meaningless. It’s effective and powerful as hell if I believe he will follow through. I’m terrified of his damn belt. Like, that thing…I do not want to feel it when Adam is upset with me, ever. He holds a decent amount of authority over me because of it.
So, what does he get out of it? The effort and energy it takes to protect and provide for me. Wouldn’t it be much easier to just let me run amuck? Well, I’m not a man, or a husband, but I think he gets a wife who gives him the thing he most wants from her, respect. He gets a wife who is softer, more kind with her words and actions. A wife who thinks a little harder before she acts or speaks. A wife who isn’t ashamed to show everyone who “wears the pants”. A wife who is committed to always being honest, even when it’s not easy. A wife who trusts him more than she ever thought she could trust another person. A wife who absolutely believes him when he tells her something, good or unpleasant. I am so grateful that Adam is willing to be the man I crave him to be. He’s an amazing provider and protector. He is always working to handle all of my bullshit, while never letting me doubt his love for me. I get everything I want from him. I’m hoping he gets the same. At least, overall. I’m not perfect. What fun would I be if I were, though!? Jackie and I are a 21st century Lucy and Ethel. And Adam is the Ricky to my Lucy. Most of the time, we have a lot of fun together.
2 thoughts on “What’s in it For Him?”
Great post and message. I knew my Sir commanded respect but I never realized how much men desire this character trait too. I will tune in better now with your post here. Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You and Adam are in a loving relationship yet there is still much learning that is going on as you each learn more and important things about your feelings and responsibilities, all life is a learning experience to be cherished and nurtured. Life with another equal is most important to one’s well-being. Sir
LikeLiked by 1 person