I have been with Adam, since 2008. Through these years, I’ve done some stupid shit. Adam’s done some stupid shit. Not even once, have either of us put our hands on each other, in anger. Adam had never pushed me. He’s never hit me. He’s never betrayed my trust. He’s honest. He’s shown me, time and again, he means it when he tells me he loves me. Although I’ve been known to push the boundaries, he’s consistently been here, doing the very best he can to be what I need him to. He knows when he needs to move further from my face, because I’m feeling that “I can’t breathe” panic coming on. He knows when I need him to wrap his arms around me. Even when he’s angry, and in “discipline mode”, he will pause to comfort me, if I truly need it.
We talked, last night, in the shower. He basically explained that, when I talk about someone who’s put their hands on me in anger, it brings up a lot of emotions for him. He told me that, he wants to “beat the shit” out of my ex and his brother. He said that he will never hurt me. That, he might spank my butt, but he will never hurt me, or let something like what I told him about happen again. I absolutely believe him.
Adam’s integrity is admirable. He has never taken a sick day, from work. The only time he’s ever missed work, because of something wrong with him, is when he was in the hospital and deathly ill, once. He’s loyal. I don’t have to question whether he’s been faithful to me. He will do just about anything for me, if I need it. He doesn’t complain. He loves our family as fiercely as I do. These qualities have been consistent, the entire time I’ve known him. This is why I’m willing to “submit”. This is why I allow my husband to lead. This is why I trust him. This is why I accept discipline from him. This is why I love my husband.
I don’t believe women are incapable. I don’t believe that I owe my submission to a man, simply because I’m a woman. I give it to him, because he earns it, everyday. I am not perfect. I fail. I work at it, though, because my husband deserves it. I believe God placed him in my life, because he is exactly who I need.
There’s a song called “Gospel”, by John Moreland. Adam loves that song, and I think it suits him perfectly. There’s a line that says, “I want to wear my heart on my sleeve, but be tough when I have to. I want to dust off the stars and hang ‘em on the wall for you.” ❤️