Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not

~Thompson Square

When Adam first started to “pursue” me, I was very resistant to his efforts. Not in a mean way. I just wasn’t looking for a relationship. I honestly believed he wanted to have sex with me, and then he’d disappear. I wasn’t that kind of girl. He patiently stuck around. He’d bring movies and pizza over, to my place. He would play with my hair, while I laid on his shoulder. After months of having him consistently show up for me, I decided maybe I would like to kiss him? We were hanging out at his house. Jackie was there, with her boyfriend. We had a few other friends there, too. I walked away, to go get something, and Adam followed me. As soon as we were out of sight, I put my arms around his neck, and I kissed him. He asked me to stay the night with him, but I wasn’t ready for that. I think, in my mind, I still thought he would disappear, if I slept with him. Days later, I was drugged and raped, by an old coworker. Jackie and Adam were the first people to show up. Jackie stayed with me, in my townhouse. The one I was so proud to have gotten for myself. Adam brought me food. He worked on my car, changing the brakes, for me. He never tried to pressure me. I can’t predict what might’ve happened, had things not played out just the way they did. His buddies have suggested that Adam was attracted to the fact that I wouldn’t have sex, for so long. He wasn’t used to being turned down. Adam insists, he would’ve fallen in love, even if I’d have given in right away.

I cannot begin to imagine what my life would look like, without Adam. This man, who I repeatedly pushed away, is the love of my life. This man, who I “wasn’t interested in”, is my favorite person in the whole world. I’m so very grateful, that he saw something in me. Something that kept him coming back. The other day, I asked him when he knew he wanted to marry me? He told me he knew very quickly.

One day, he told me he was helping a friend move, but had actually taken Jackie and my sister, to help him pick out my engagement ring. We had been together for about a year, at that point. He spoke with my dad, before he popped the question. He asked me in front of my whole family. I honestly can’t remember what he said, but he got down on one knee, and nervously asked me to marry him. I cried, and said, “OF COURSE!” We were legally married, a month later. We’ve been “church married”, for 12 years, on March 26th.

We never told our family about our legal marriage, and we fully intended to give them a “real” wedding. Life happened, and we didn’t get it done, until 2 years later. Adam’s dad had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. We wanted to make sure he was a part of our wedding. We planned everything, in just two and a half months. Warp speeded our whole wedding. Adam’s dad passed away the day before we were married, though. He made us promise to go through with our wedding, no matter what happened. We did. It’s a very very bittersweet memory. We didn’t go on our honeymoon. The day after our wedding, we began to make the arrangements for his father’s funeral. I’m glad we followed through, and got “church married”, despite all of the sadness around it. Saying our vows, in front of our family, friends, and God, is something we’ve taken very seriously. That is also when I took Adam’s last name. We didn’t realize what that would later mean to us, at the time, but it’s a big deal. We both began to seek out a relationship with Christ, shortly after all of this. Adam’s dad helped both of us to facilitate a real relationship, with God. I so wish his dad could see our babies. I wish that Adam could have that man still in his life, too.

We have been through so many challenges, but so many more blessings. I truly grow an even deeper bond, with Adam, as every new year, together, passes by. It’s funny, sometimes I miss our “youth”, but I also wouldn’t ever want to go back in time, because I know the progress we’ve made. We’ve overcome so much, together. We’ve celebrated so many successes, together. We really are each other’s “better half”.