This afternoon, some of our neighbors right behind us were having a birthday party for their daughter. There was a bouncy house and pool party and at least 30 kids were there. The adults were outnumbered by quite a bit. I think there were about 10 of us. We live in the south. We’re all at least a little bit “redneck” in my neighborhood, so of course there were adult drinks being served. Maybe y’all have adult beverages at kids birthday parties in other parts of the country/world too, I’m not really sure? I wouldn’t even think of going overboard and getting sloshed at a kid’s birthday party, though. The mom of the kid having the birthday party (I’ll call her L) had a lot too much today. It was pretty embarrassing to be honest. I like L. She’s a fun girl and I know she loves her kids, but she didn’t use her mom brain today at all. She had disappeared inside and I heard some yelling. Next thing I knew, someone else was calling for L’s husband, J, to get inside right away. I kept my butt firmly planted where I was because I was absolutely not getting involved in whatever drama was taking place inside!! I heard some more yelling from L and then it got quiet. A few minutes later, J re-emerged outside. Of course, everyone wanted to know what happened and J casually tells us “I busted her butt. I told her if she didn’t settle down I was gonna bust her butt, and she wouldn’t listen.” Bust your butt here means give someone a spanking. It’s said to kids often. Apparently, L was getting into a heated argument with another person who was inside with her and she was slamming cupboards and throwing things on the floor like a lunatic. Literally no one at the party batted an eye when J told us what he’d done. I was considering sneaking inside to check on L and honestly, I wanted to be nosy and find out what had her so upset in the first place, but Adam grabbed my hand, pulled me back to him, and whispered in my ear, “if you take one step inside there I’ll come bust your ass too.”
So, this was my afternoon! I can’t even imagine how angry Adam would’ve been if I acted like L did today. She is about ten years younger than I am, so I suppose she’s still learning to adult. Her husband is 14 years older than her, so he’s also more settled down and mature. I have heard J make little comments to L about putting her over his knee. Heck, he even said it to me once not long ago (jokingly). I had no idea until today that he was ever serious about his threats to her though. How crazy is it that I actually know people in my real life who are like Adam and I?! Also, how crazy is it that not one single adult there thought anything of it when J announced her just gone inside and spanked his wife? I feel like y’all are going to think I’m telling stories here. Cross my heart, it’s 100% truth! I didn’t get a chance to talk to L alone after all that. I’m still dying to know what the world made her so angry in the first place. If I find out anything else worth reporting here, I’ll update tomorrow. As for me, I am able to sit comfortably tonight because I wasn’t about to get my butt whooped at a neighbor’s party.
Oops I accidentally posted my comment twice after my screen went wonky. I think I got the second one trashed!
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I can tell you that out here in California the cops would’ve been called and his ass hauled off to jail, especially with children present. Unless EVERYONE present was aware of their kink dynamic and accepting of it, they’d lose all of their friends and would be the laughingh stalk of their neighborhood. Out here, that would’ve been handled after everyone left… or the husband would’ve sent everyone home on the spot. Drinking at a kids birthday party? In my generation… not very acceptable. I’m in my late 40’s. I know things are a bit different now with the younger generation. Still looked down on to get sloshed around your kids and certainly at a kid centered party. I’m pretty stunned that this is acceptable ANYWHERE. lol The husband spanking and the drinking… the whole thing. lol
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We were all outside by the pool with the kids. It WAS inappropriate to be drunk at a birthday party for a child, I absolutely agree! We all thought it was embarrassing and I’ve never done anything like that. They had cold beer along with coke and waters for drinks. It IS common for everyone to offer beer at any get together around here. On Halloween, most of the parents are walking their kids around with a beer in their hand. I’m not one of them, that just feels weird to me. I’m not against alcohol, but I haven’t been really drunk since I was 16 years old. I hate that feeling. I keep my own breathalyzer here and I make anyone who’s over and had any drinks use it and pass it before I’ll give them back their keys. There are a lot of good people in our neighborhood, but there is a culture of drinking here. I really don’t know that it’s a southern thing or just the city we’re in or what? As far as J saying he spanked L, none of us heard or saw it because they were inside the house and we were out back. I’ve seen their dynamic and it doesn’t particularly shock me, but I was surprised everyone was so low key about it. I haven’t had a chance to talk to L about yesterday, but I did see her when we walked her kids home this evening and she and J were snuggling on the porch swing. She had came back outside to the party after she’d laid down for about an hour, but nobody brought up anything. I can tell you she was not bruised or beaten up in any way because we were wearing swimsuits and see through cover ups by the pool. I’ve known J for a lot of years. He and L have only been married for about 18 months, so I don’t know L as well. I do know that J is not a mean or violent person at all and if anyone there was actually concerned he might have hurt L, we’d not have stayed quiet. I don’t believe he could’ve done too much inside because he was only in there for a couple of minutes anyway, so I didn’t suspect he’d just beat the crap out of her or anything like that! We could hear L chewing someone out, but I didn’t hear anything else at all. I certainly didn’t think for a second that he was in there abusing her. She’s young and very new to being a parent as she’s a step mother to J’s children. She isn’t a terrible person, she’s usually very sweet and the kids love her. She made a very stupid decision to drink too much yesterday, and she’s no wallflower. If J tried to do something she was vehemently against, she sure as heck wouldn’t have stayed quiet and gone to her room for awhile. She was upstairs fighting with J’s sister who made a comment to her about her drinking that L wasn’t happy about. J sent his sister outside and was alone with L for seriously maybe a minute or two before he came back outside. I helped the kids get some cake and juice and set up a yard game with them because I’m pretty much the neighborhood mama. But, I definitely wouldn’t want to make it seem like J or L aren’t good people with huge hearts. It’s difficult to write down years of knowing someone’s character in one story here, but I can promise you nobody among us would’ve sat by and allowed J to abuse his wife.
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I’m sorry if my comment implied that any of you would sit by and let anyone be hurt. 😦 I was sharing a cultural difference in how things would be viewed and handled out here in California. Remember that we’re the super liberal bunch out here. Even thinking a man might have hit a woman there’d be SOMEONE that would’ve called the cops. Once the cops come out, someone WILL go to jail. Just how it is. We’re very liberal in many ways, but the level of conservatism in how we see and deal with many issues is tighter than just about anywhere else. California is a different country. 😉 Again, I”m sorry if I offended you. It was anything but my intent.
My response shows you a glimmer of what you’d get in a situation like that out here. Even if it were harmless, the social implications would be big for that couple all around.
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Oh, I wasn’t offended! I understand what you meant. It occurred to me that it may have sounded like an abusive situation to someone just reading my short description and I would never want to give that impression. You’re so right about cultural differences, though. I’ve never been to CA or any of the west coast, actually. I’ve been north, south, and east, but have yet to get out there. I would like to visit sometime.
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Never lost my mom brain but definitely got naughty. Just wrote about seeing my Daddy for the first time and the first thing he wanted to do was take off his belt. So. Yup. Southern thing? I don’t know.
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(Um. Sometimes it was me.)
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I’ve definitely been to those kinda parties before and nobody thinks much of a husband or father taking off his belt, no matter the age of the girl involved. Yup. It does happen and she’s lucky he didn’t make everyone HEAR it. Because that’s hella awkward.
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