My People and Me

I have known my best friend, Jackie, for nearly 20 years. We were still kids when we became neighbors and we met as teenagers. We used to sneak away so we could hide somewhere and smoke cigarettes. We told each other everything. Still do. She has been with me through my marriage, my babies being born, losing my mom. She has always been my kids cool aunt. She hasn’t had much luck with relationships. Her childhood was riddled with trauma and abuse causing negative patterns that continued well into adulthood for her. She’s working on herself and I’m very proud of who she’s becoming recently. She finished the lease on her apartment and has moved into our house. We have a walk out apartment area in our basement and she is staying there hoping to save money for a house of her own. Adam doesn’t mind her staying here and I love having her around.

Last night, we set up corn hole (an outdoor game with bags you throw into a hole). We hadn’t done that in awhile because it’s been way too hot, but it was beautiful out last night. Jackie, a guy friend of hers, Adam, and I threw the bags and, as always, Jackie and I were kicking ass and taking names. This is the one game where I can beat Adam consistently. Not always, but most always. We had my little bose speaker playing music and a fridge full of beer in the garage. Everybody, except Adam, had a pretty good buzz going from the drinks. He enjoys sitting back and watching me get a “beer buzz” because I’m a silly, happy kind of drunk. I don’t get sloppy and wasted. Just loosened up and goofy. Somehow, the conversation went to a couple of weeks ago when I’d told Jackie that I hadn’t done several things Adam had warned me to get done. She laughed and told me to stomp on the floor real hard 3 times if I needed her to come busting into our room. It was just a joke. Then, the other night when Adam was away and her and I stayed up talking until nearly 4:00am, she asked me what ever happened with that. I told her the truth. Adam spanked me! She just giggled and said we were “so kinky”. She isn’t necessarily wrong. We are pretty great together in bed. That was that. Until last night. I was getting a little bit too “mouthy” toward Adam and I called him an asshole for what I perceived as cheating in our game of corn hole. He leaned over me and gave me a few hard swats on my behind and told me “Keep it up”. That’s a clear and obvious warning for me to not “keep it up”. Jackie says “Holy crap! Did that hurt??” I laughed and told her that was nothing! This lead to a whole explanation about why I’m ok with it, but yes, it does hurt. I think she had just then realized that Adam isn’t always just playing with me. Sometimes, he means it. And, he really is “the boss”. I told her some things I’ve already written here about how literally every other relationship I have with my family and friends, even strangers most times, I am the bossy one. I have naturally been the one who leads since I was a child. Adam is the one and only person who usurps my leadership role and I’m so grateful for it. I don’t think it occurred to Jackie that maybe I need somebody like me. I even mentioned Adam had been making me call him “sir” sometimes. It blew her mind that I can be made to do anything! I think I’ve been afraid to say too much about this stuff because I was afraid that I could lose the respect of “my people”. When I say my people, I mean my family and friends. The people who matter to me. I knew Jackie assumed it was just us being kinky, and I left it that way. For some reason, maybe the alcohol, I decided to let her hear the truth. It felt good to do that. I don’t have secrets from her. I could immediately see that it didn’t change the way she thinks of me, but it did change the way she thinks of Adam. She has a new level of respect for him now, too. Like, if he can tell me what to do, he must be one hell of a leader himself! I’m okay with that. I like for people to see what I do in my husband. To respect him. To understand what he is to me.

I’m a little tired today after staying up late and drinking. Adam went into work for awhile this morning. I think tonight is going to be a quiet night. Adam can grill some pork chops, I’ll make some pasta salad and my famous lemon and pepper green beans. We can sit on the deck and just hang out. ❤️

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