Need I write anymore than what’s been said through our text messages? I told him. I actually sent him the post I shared here yesterday morning. It was easier to just do that. I write from my heart on here. It’s not me thinking about what Adam would think, what anyone who reads my stuff will think. It’s me pouring out my heart and soul into a blog I started because it helps me to process my thoughts in a healthy way. I love the input I get from so many great people who genuinely root for Adam and I, too. I really should’ve said something before he was already on his way home from work. As soon as he walked in, he told us all hello, gave me a kiss, and went and changed his clothes. I started to boil the water for the macaroni and cheese I was fixing. I had meatloaf in the oven. He came to the kitchen and grabbed my hand and told me “let’s go get this over with”. I insisted I couldn’t leave, my water would boil over! He told me it would only take a minute. The dogs tried to follow. He made them leave our bedroom. He sat on our bed and pulled me over his lap. I’d made the choice to wear a cute little sundress, making it very easy for him to pull my dress up out of his way. I got spanked, but I’ve certainly had worse ones. Then, I put my face into his chest so I could recover while he held onto me for a minute. It was over. All was good. I didn’t cry. I finished supper. The kids didn’t bat an eye. Jackie heard something, no doubt, because she was helping our daughter with a homework assignment in the dining room. She said nothing, though. Adam did come up to ask her about something shortly after we came out of our bedroom and she jumped and said she thought she was in trouble 😆 She told someone who was over here the other day that there’s only two people she’s afraid of. The first one is me. The second one, she only recently discovered she was afraid of…Adam. If he can get me to mind him, he’s got something in him she’s not gonna mess with! Ever since she moved in with us, it’s impossible to hide everything from her prying eyes and ears. She’s my best friend. I had to tell her what’s up. It’s almost comical to me how Adam doesn’t give a single F*** about who everyone thinks “wears the pants” at our house. If they assume it’s me, he don’t care. He knows what’s up and he don’t care what anyone else thinks. That’s pretty much the story of our life. Most everyone who knows us because they were my friend first, assumes that I’M the pants wearer. His friends know that’s probably not the case. Jackie knows because she’s here. She’s never said anything to anybody else, that I know of? At this point, I don’t really care anymore. I’ve learned that people don’t respect me less when they find out Adam can put me in my place. They respect me the same. They just respect Adam even more because he can stand up to me! Y’all have no idea just how tough and “hard” I can be. The people who’ve known me a long time know. I ain’t no pushover. It took my Adam coming into my life to be “my person”. To be the one who holds ME accountable. The one who can call ME on my bullshit. I’m glad for it. I’m lucky for it. I even think my best friend is happy to know it ❤️
While Adam and I were laying in bed, last night, he told me he was really proud of me for telling him, even though I knew I was wrong, and even though I knew I would probably get spanked for it. I talked to him about how much I appreciate that we can have a problem, he can get upset, and then after he punishes me, it’s over. He doesn’t get angry about it ever again. It only gets brought back up if I was to repeat the same offense. He told me he doesn’t ever hold grudges with me. He wrapped his arms around me and said “I love you too much to stay angry with you.” And then…I gave him a helluva blowjob.
I feel like a weight is off of my shoulders now. I had no idea just how heavy it was getting for me to carry this dumb secret I’d been holding back. Why did I do that?? I mean, I know my own reasons why, but it was stupid. I swear, I understand my kids screw ups sometimes because of being held accountable for my own bullshit. I get it. I’m not a child. I just get why they sometimes do ridiculously dumb crap. Our kids just got progress reports…all As for our daughter and As and Bs for our son. I’m proud of our babies! Our daughter’s best friend is coming over for the weekend. She gets to spend the whole weekend here with Mj. They’ve been looking forward to it for weeks. She actually calls me “Mama” too. Her own mother isn’t her primary caregiver. I’ve helped her through lots of the trials and tribulations of being a little girl her age. It should be a fun weekend for all of us.