The Honorable Judge Hardass

In our house, when the kids have a disagreement that can’t get resolved between them, we have “court”. They each present their cases before Adam, and he makes the final verdict. They had a “hearing”, recently. Our son promised to pay our daughter $20 to help him with something. She helped him. He paid her $10, but she wanted her other $10. He had decided that $10 was fair. She disagreed. They each gathered all “evidence” to present. Our son had even changed into some “church clothes” to wear to “court”. It turned out, our daughter had a signed “contract”. Our son had agreed to pay her $20. They both use phrases like your honor and objection. It’s, honestly, adorable. I believe Adam’s verdict is obvious in this picture, here!

Adam wants me to pay the bill we got for work done in our house. I plan to get it done! It’s not even “due” until the end of this month. I couldn’t do it yesterday, because I had a lot going on and I wasn’t home most of the day. I told him I have my doctor appointment today, but I promised to have it done by Friday evening. If I get home early enough, I’ll do it today. It’s kind of a pain because I have to meet up and get a physical check to pay them. It’s not as simple as a phone call or online bill pay. I explained these things to him. I do not feel like having to deal with “judge hardass”, tomorrow. I will make sure it gets done.

I’ve been consistently writing here since early Summertime. It’s different. I used to only write when I felt like it. I knew I needed an outlet, and I decided to try writing in my blog, again. It’s beyond helpful. Not only has it helped Adam, because I often share things with him so that he understands where I’m coming from. It helps me tremendously, too. I’m brutally honest in my writing. I don’t sugar coat things. Some days, there isn’t a whole lot for me to say. I just write what I’m feeling. I had told Adam, when I looked back, I feel like all I do is fuck up. I see progress, but I also see my failures. Too many of them! I think this is why he’s made a conscious effort to remind me that he sees the things I do right, and there’s more of those than either of us remember to give me credit for. I need to hear “‘atta’ girl” once in awhile, too. I can see that Adam is making an effort to give that to me. It isn’t only about punishing me when I screw up. It’s also praising the things I don’t screw up. Even when I do wrong, I appreciate having Adam recognize that I did right by coming to him and admitting it. He says that he knows I’m trying, and he sees improvement in these things he’s asked of me. He tells me that, if he didn’t think those things, he wouldn’t bother. I think it motivates me, at least as much, when he praises the good in me, as it does when he spanks me for the bad. I realize how much work it must be to walk in Adam’s shoes. Walking this line between being a “hardass” and standing firm when he needs to. I don’t really think he’s a hardass. I think he’s doing an excellent job of staying strong when it matters. That’s a good thing, even if my behind pays the price for it.

One thought on “The Honorable Judge Hardass

  1. Eve, as I’ve said before you and Adam have a remarkable relationship your love for each other permeates your everyday lives. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you have made a lot of progress, be happy ass you are both in a far better relationship with a wonderful family. Good way to teach the children responsibilities. Be proud of your progress and hold your head up high! Sir


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