There’s an interesting dichotomy, to my relationship, with Adam. On one hand, I do get very turned on, when he slaps my ass. I love the random smacks across my backside. When it comes to a serious spanking, I don’t enjoy it. It isn’t that I don’t appreciate it. I wouldn’t say that I want those, though. If I’m honest, I don’t even prefer getting a spanking, over the alternative. The alternative being, we argue, ignore one another, hurl insults, and ultimately, never really resolve the problem. Of course, I do not want that! Is it the easy choice, to accept having my husband hold me down and spank me until he’s satisfied I’ve learned my lesson? No. That isn’t easy. If you were to ask me, in the moments before Adam comes home, when I know I’m in for it, I would absolutely say that I’d prefer not to get spanked. When I’m rational, reasonable, and calm, I know damn well that submitting to my husband, and accepting discipline sometimes, is the better choice. I do know that. I do understand it. That’s the hard choice. I’ve made the hard choice, to give over a significant amount of control, to my husband. I’ve done it, because I trust him. I’ve done it, because it works. I’ve done it, because I feel “lighter”, knowing he’s got me.
It isn’t easy, to quit fighting for the “steering wheel”. It isn’t fun, getting called out, when I screw up. It isn’t about those things, though. The whole process, it’s a learning and growing experience. Adam “steers the wheel” even better, the more I stop fighting him for it. I feel safer, and most content, when I’m not fighting him for control. Does that mean it’s easy? Absolutely not. It’s just right, for us. It works.