Making The Hard Choice

There’s an interesting dichotomy, to my relationship, with Adam. On one hand, I do get very turned on, when he slaps my ass. I love the random smacks across my backside. When it comes to a serious spanking, I don’t enjoy it. It isn’t that I don’t appreciate it. I wouldn’t say that I want those, though. If I’m honest, I don’t even prefer getting a spanking, over the alternative. The alternative being, we argue, ignore one another, hurl insults, and ultimately, never really resolve the problem. Of course, I do not want that! Is it the easy choice, to accept having my husband hold me down and spank me until he’s satisfied I’ve learned my lesson? No. That isn’t easy. If you were to ask me, in the moments before Adam comes home, when I know I’m in for it, I would absolutely say that I’d prefer not to get spanked. When I’m rational, reasonable, and calm, I know damn well that submitting to my husband, and accepting discipline sometimes, is the better choice. I do know that. I do understand it. That’s the hard choice. I’ve made the hard choice, to give over a significant amount of control, to my husband. I’ve done it, because I trust him. I’ve done it, because it works. I’ve done it, because I feel “lighter”, knowing he’s got me.

It isn’t easy, to quit fighting for the “steering wheel”. It isn’t fun, getting called out, when I screw up. It isn’t about those things, though. The whole process, it’s a learning and growing experience. Adam “steers the wheel” even better, the more I stop fighting him for it. I feel safer, and most content, when I’m not fighting him for control. Does that mean it’s easy? Absolutely not. It’s just right, for us. It works.

8 thoughts on “Making The Hard Choice

  1. Thank you so much for your insightfulness in this post and for outlining the complexities around spanking in your relationship. As I was reading it and the other posts around what happened with ordering the clothes (yah I can now read Jackie’s blog) I did wonder if there was another option that could be added in terms of Adam leading your family. Please forgive me in advance if I am way out of line here. There were some really extreme consequences that happened her with Jackie losing her job and Adam being really and rightly angry through concern about the legal ramifications this might have happened At the very least it has probably cost you legal fees. It seems that this is something you would never do again whether you were spanked or not. You may have already done this but I wondered if this would have been a really good opportunity for Adam to lead a family conversation about what happened, the consequences and how when anyone screws up then taking responsibility, feeling shame and how making amends is a good thing to do. I loooove cashmere and it is way out of my price range. I would have so done what you guys did but it was still not doing the right thing as employee, it was still taking profit off someone else’s business, not managing emotions in the workplace with responsibility and maturity, and getting caught up making bad decisions with our friends. I would be so ashamed and upset by having to have to own that via my husbands leadership and guidance in front of my kids.
    Please forgive me if I have offended you I love this blog and you have an amazing family and marriage, it’s just this post really got me thinking about enduring and effective change.
    And all that bloody cashmere that had to go back 😩😩😭

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yea. My kids know Jackie and I made a dumb mistake! They know their daddy is holding their mama accountable, but we don’t really discuss THAT. It obviously isn’t a thing I would repeat. It’s just that I have definitely made some “plans” with Jackie that weren’t the wisest, in hindsight. I’m normally very responsible. It isn’t unheard of for us to get caught up in a dumb scheme, though. Justin (Jackie’s boyfriend) and Adam have already teased us about how we’re getting cashmere for Christmas 😂

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  2. Willfully deciding to respect and submit even when it is very hard to do will have both short and long term benefits for you.
    I told you a while back that you impress me greatly. This post deepened that impression tremendously

    You’re the best!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Jackie and I went to her “surprise date”, today. We beat the heck out of some TV’s and things, in a rage room. That was a blast! It was sweet because Adam knew what she had planned, and he was super excited for me to go smash some stuff! I know Adam loves me. I know he cares. I am also so blessed to have a best friend who is always looking out for my well being, too. I trust “my people”. It’s such a blessing to have people you can lean on and always trust to have your back. That’s the whole point. I know that everything Adam does is in my own best interest. I believe, without doubt, that every decision he makes, he’s considered me, and our family’s well being.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Eve, you are growing in your acceptance of the D/S relationship you are in with Adam. You know he loves you and only wants the best for you and your family. Your trust in Adam is great and you’re love for him is even greater. Accepting your role in your family life, will give you happiness and well-being. Sir

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Eve, I’ve been busy but have never once missed one of your posts, I have been following your progress since you started posting and I am quite proud of how far you have come in dealing with your feelings. Sir

        Liked by 2 people

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