Heartless

I was having a rough afternoon, yesterday. I’m not prepared to get much into it, but it has to do with my mother. My mother and someone else who I love so fiercely. I’m struggling internally, with how to move forward, with this girl, now that she’s built a “relationship” with my mother. I cannot let my mother worm her way into my family’s lives. I can’t have her gathering information about our lives, that Adam and I have decided she is no longer privy to. At the same time, I can’t turn my back on this girl. I won’t do it.

I’m not cold hearted. Making the choice to remove my mother from our lives, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. When I make a decision, I mean it, though. I can’t imagine going through this again. It’s just hard. Really, really hard.

I woke up, during the night, with a horrible stomach ache. I’m not sick. Emotional pain and stress manifest into physical aches, for me. I also have a condition which gives me chronic ulcers, in my stomach. I started a two week course of medications, today. Hopefully they’ll help get my belly to feeling better.

I intended to have a roast slow cooking, for supper tonight, but I forgot about it. It’s too late now. I’ve got leftover shredded chicken I had made, for chicken Alfredo, last night. I’m going to just go ahead and make some quesadillas, instead.

I turned on my little bose speaker, and I’m playing some music. I have lots of playlists. The one I’m currently listening to is titled, “shower songs”. It’s full of songs that make me happy. Jackie is going to be here, soon. Maybe we can have one of our “kitchen dates”. Just sit around and talk about any and everything. Throw in some laughter. Sometimes, some tears. It always helps, though.

5 thoughts on “Heartless

  1. When you hurt,a good friend is a great distraction from the pain. Jackie however is more like a sister
    She may know you better than anyone else in the world and has a strong genuine love and care for you as you do for her.
    Most people aren’t blessed with friends like that. With Jackie you have been blessed in spades.
    You have great people around you. You are so very blessed. Your “people” are special!
    I was gonna say God bless you but I realized again that He already has!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Poor you. Pain from stress is horrible. Could you put some boundaries in place where you ask this girl not to discuss details of your life with your mother? It would seem that this girl is likely to know something about your situation. It may give her some insights into your mother and you can see how respectful she is of your care for her. I hope the medication helps. Ulcers really are so serious!!!

    Like

  3. Eve, life is full of twists and turns, love and sadness, you have all the love you need with Adam, Jackie and the kiddies. Somethings in life we can not change even when we want too, even when we know of heartaches and trouble coming. I hope Jackie lifts your cares and brings a smile to you. Sir 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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