My baby niece, Pj, will be 12 weeks old soon. My sister’s husband wants her to go back to work, after Pj turns 12 weeks. My sister called me, yesterday. She was in tears about it. She doesn’t want to leave her baby and go to work. She’s breastfeeding. Pj just laughed, for the first time, a few days ago. She doesn’t want to miss out on anything. And, I so completely understand.

Jackie’s boyfriend has told her, from the beginning, she will not have to work, if she doesn’t want to. I’m realizing how blessed I’ve been, that Adam has never pushed me to work outside our home. I’m so grateful to have this husband, who will do whatever it takes, to allow me to be here, and never have to miss out on my own babies growing up.

I say none of this to shame mothers who have chosen to work outside of their home. I’m only recognizing what a tremendous blessing Adam has been, to me. I would be as heartbroken as my sister, if I’d have had to take on financial responsibilities, sacrificing the responsibilities I enjoy, at home with our babies. It means everything to me, being here to help my daughter do her hair, every morning. To be here after school, with snacks ready for my kids. To attend every awards ceremony. Every concert and play. They can count on me to be here, taking care of them when they’re sick. I love making our home clean, pretty, and cozy. I enjoy cooking for my family. Having supper, when Adam gets home. Truthfully, there’s also no way Adam would have made it this far in his own career, had I not been handling all of the responsibilities, at home. We compliment one another. We each get to use our own strengths and talent to provide and contribute to this family we’ve created, together. There’s worth in both of our “jobs”. Still, I sometimes worry that Adam might quietly feel the way my sister’s husband does. Like, I should be doing more. Or, what if he doesn’t see the things I do as being as valuable as I do? I couldn’t care less about the angry rhetoric spewed about what a sell out I am to women, because I’ve let myself “depend on a man”. I do care very much about how my husband sees me, though. It’s no different than wanting to be a doctor, when you grow up. You work hard, study, spend years perfecting your skills. I wanted to be a wife and mama, when I grew up. I’ve worked to be the best one that I can be. That makes me feel very accomplished and proud. I just hope Adam can always see that in me, too. I will never look back, and feel regrets. I have not “thrown my life away”, because I made this choice. I see success. I feel pride. I will look back with joy. The only regrets I ever have, are when I think about how quickly these years have flown, and wish I’d have slowed down a little bit more, to make as many memories with my family as I could.

I watched Mj make “mud pies”, and jump on the trampoline with Oliver, yesterday. ❤️

7 thoughts on “Choices

  1. I just had a true revelation (at least for me).
    In order for you to count all
    your blessings, you would need a calculator with new batteries and extras for when those run out! 🙂
    Thanx so much for this post!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Eve
    I completely agree with you. It’s about choice and being fortunate to have the support to make those choices. But also working hard to support that support. You manage the bills, are careful with the household income and , think of your financial future.etc. You are sustainable in your furniture choices which not only helps the planet but also finances. I completely agree that it is about mothers being able to choose. Some women don’t want to be full time at home or some can’t afford to. But we still do under value women at home and as a society we need to STOP doing that. Mothering is one of the most important jobs in the world. You are able to be at home to guide, support and keep a watchful eye over them. Teenagers still need that and perhaps even more so as it’s the time that their peers become more important. Like you said, without you being at home keeping everything running without stress and to support Adam’s career, he has been able to get ahead in the role he loves and keeps him happy, secure abd motivated. You also enable his fathering to take in the responsibilities that compliment your mothering and develop your children further to be the wonderful human beings that they are. You also support the school system to have all those extra activities for kids by providing your free labour. Being at home takes the sting out of how our lives are so frantic. If the kids are sick, you can allow them to take time to recover, everything is just much slower, calmer and balanced. You are doing an amazing job being a mama, running a house, building a community of happy blog readers 😂. And shaping happy, healthy and wonderful members of society. You being at home enriches the lives of not only your kids and husband, but your sister, Jackie and everyone else you touch. Let’s continue to support and champion women as stay at home mothers and homemakers as well as working in paid employment. Sometimes women are the worst at ya supporting each other.NEVER let anyone get to you for how valuable, worthy and important you are and what you do. Love your work 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. P.S. if you weren’t at home. Mj might not have the quiet and time to make mud pies. Just to be a kid chilling at home, learning to be in her own, create something and just be in nature doing something simple and with her hands

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Eve, you are lucky to have Adam and it’s a Blessing that you realize how much he has given you, your family responsibilities are as important as his job is. Not every lady wants the responsibilities of running and home and caring for the family. You do an awesome job, take ea bow Mother! Sir 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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