Man Eyes

When Adam is looking for something, I tease him to “take off your man eyes”, because it’s often right there. Looking for ketchup? Just move the mayonnaise out of the way, it’s literally right there. I’ve also suggested he remove his “man eyes”, when I’m trying to point out an issue that he isn’t seeming to comprehend.

Adam and I had a bit of back and forth about something that was starting to seriously bother me. Both of our kids are involved in various extracurricular activities. Our son just finished wrestling, and baseball season has started. Adam has been helping our son practice. He has been to his competitions. He will help drive him to or from practices, sometimes. All of those things are great, but my issue is that, he has never once made it to a single thing our daughter has done. I alone have attended her awards ceremonies, plays, concerts, talent show contest… It has always been understood that Daddy has to work, but he’s supporting them. I feel like with his son, he’s making an obvious effort to be there for his stuff. Adam was rearranging his work schedule, so that he could attend a parent meeting for baseball. I guess that was my “final straw”, because I finally said my peace. I told him, I know he’s your only son, but you have a daughter too. If he thinks she won’t notice that he never goes to her things, but is willing to pencil in the time to attend her brother’s things, he’s very sadly mistaken. I said, if he does want to start being there for more, he needs to also be there for some of Mj’s stuff. He cannot ignore the things that are important to her, just because they’re not as “interesting”, to him. I wasn’t bitchy. I didn’t insult him. I simply addressed this issue that I saw. He did seem to understand what I was saying, but I really hope he takes it to heart.

We are not “perfect”. Obviously, I screw up, sometimes. Adam does too, though. I will not hesitate to call him out on it, either. A lot depends on the way I address a problem. I’ve learned to approach him with a calm, level headed attitude. To refrain from yelling, cursing, or insulting him. Do I always do that? No. I did, this time. It was handled without any big argument. We were able to spend the rest of the evening happily. That’s the lesson, here. When I stick to an issue, and treat him with respect, while I’m addressing it, we can solve a problem together. I don’t want to insult him as a father. He’s amazing. I honestly don’t think he even realized he was doing this to our kids. I just feel it’s very important that he makes time for our daughter, too. I think they both deserve time, attention, and support from both of their parents.

Because of the crappy weather, yesterday, our son’s parent meeting, for baseball, was changed over to a zoom meeting, instead of in person. It worked out so that both Adam and I were able to be on that zoom call. Our daughter was also supposed to have gone to a choir event, but it was canceled. I would never suggest that Adam should avoid participating in our children’s activities. It’s great when it works out for him to attend. I swear, sometimes teachers and coaches can get on my nerves a little bit. The way they talk to us like they do the children they teach, ugh… I’m an adult. You do not need to do that! It’s good for Adam to get a taste of what I put up with! 😆 Oh well, everything worked out, last night.

9 thoughts on “Man Eyes

  1. Pj is getting more gorgeous by the day. So funny man/boy eyes are international!!!
    That must have been a tricky conversation to have in a calm way. Girls relationships with their fathers are often the blueprint for their romantic relationships later in life. We all need to feel valued and included. It’s also really easy to favour the sports and activities we as parents connect more to!!! It’s a good reminder not to let stuff become habits. Yum, your soup looks divine. I always think your home must be so cozy.warm and nourishing both physically and emotionally.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, thank you! I agree about the girls. I think it’s important for her daddy to make sure he validated her achievements, too. He loves her like crazy! He just needed to realize what I was starting to see 😉


  2. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. If you are supporting both kid’s activities so should he.
    For what it’s worth I am sooo proud of your tact and restraint in dealing with Adam in what could easily result in a big fight. You are moving right up the submission and respect ladder! Give yourself a pat on the back. You’ve earned it!
    Thanx bunches for a revealing and insightful post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s funny, my sister and I were just talking about situations with our husbands in the last couple days where we both handled it calmly and without a big blow up fight or anything. We were patting each other on the back lol

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Eve, you should be a diplomat, you handled a sticky situation with thoughtfulness, hopefully Adam will understand the point you were making, which was a very valued point, we must treat all our kids equally and try not to show any favoritism. Have a great day! Sir 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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