A Dose of Harsh Truth

I was listening to a podcast. They were suggesting that sexual assault, for women, is a very rare thing. Some of the panel even went so far as to state that many women are lying, when they talk about this having happened to them. I do recognize that some women have lied. *cough*….Amber Heard. That’s so wrong, on every level, and should be punished. I know, for a fact, that the women in my life are not lying about what’s happened to them. I will never believe that all, or most men, are out here harming women. I do have to say, I don’t know many women, in my life, who haven’t been abused. Physically, sexually, or both. I am not one of the new generation of, so called, feminists, who believe all men are evil. I do know a whole lot of women who’ve been assaulted, though.

I don’t subscribe to the “believe all women” notion. I recognize that we live in a society where we should be presumed innocent until proven guilty. That never negates the fact that way too many women have been assaulted.

I don’t think women should lay hands on a man, either. I absolutely believe a man should be able to defend himself. Most men are bigger and stronger. Most men are raised to never hit a woman. If a woman is hurting a man, he has every right to use necessary force, to get away from her.

We need to shame men and women, who abuse. We can recognize that these things do happen, much too often, without saying all men, or all women. Most men and women are not abusive. Some are. It happens. Most of us would never lie about something as serious and devastating as sexual assault. For me, it’s almost embarrassing. I continue to look back, and wonder how I could have done things differently, so that hadn’t happened. There’s nothing wrong with teaching boys to respect women. I also believe it’s our responsibility to teach our girls to be wise and be cautious. That doesn’t mean that wearing a low cut shirt is inviting men to assault you. I only mean that, we have to be aware of our surroundings. We have to be prepared, and on “guard”, because as unfortunate as it is, evil still exists in our world, and it ain’t ever going to go away. I learned, the hard way, you never accept an open drink from someone you’re out with. I cannot blindly trust that people are good. I have a lot of faith in humanity, but I will not let my guard down unless I’m with my husband, my father, my brother, or a sober Jackie and my sister. Those are pretty much the only people I would ever accept an open drink from. I have already spoken to my kids, multiple times, about the importance of this. I’m doing my best to train them in the realities of life. If I could wave a magic wand, and make the world a completely safe place for them, I would. But, I can’t. So, I realize how important it is for me to teach them about the best ways they can protect themselves. You can do everything right, and still get taken advantage of. It happens. But, prevention is our first line of defense. I love my son. I never want him to be in a situation where he could possibly be accused of something he didn’t do. I love my daughter. I never want her to be in a situation where someone does something she doesn’t want them to. It goes both ways. Discussing these things does not mean that I think one sex is right, and the other is wrong. I simply do not ever want another person I love to get hurt.