When I’m Right, I’m Right

Last night was a rough one. I got angrier with Adam, than I have in a very long time. The other day, when I saw our mortgage payment had increased due to escrow, I knew it was taxes, insurance, or both. I told Adam, if our home insurance had gone up, I was going to get quotes from some other places. I already knew we’d been paying more than we should, for insurance. Adam had set that all up, when we first bought our house here. Adam assured me he’d call and figure it out. Awhile later, he told me they had said it was because our state and county have increased our property taxes. I trusted that, and left it alone. Until, last night. I was telling Justin about this tax hike, and Adam spoke up. He said, “Well, like $40 of that is because insurance went up.” Immediately, I started seeing red!! Adam had not bothered to mention this, to me, until just then. I felt like he’d lied to me. I let it be made clear, exactly how upset that made me, too.

I know it seems contrary to popular belief, but I’M the saver. I’m the one who’s always financially planning, investing, and looking for ways to save money. I’m not perfect. I do mess up. Adam just sees his paychecks, and figures it’s more than we could need, so what’s the worry… I, on the other hand, track every dollar in and out of all our accounts. We aren’t “rich”. We have bills, like everyone else. We’re fortunate to be able to have all the things we do. I’m not ungrateful. I’m just cautious. Adam tried to argue that “$40 a month more for our insurance isn’t that big of a deal”, but it is to me! Not only that, but he should’ve told me about it, in the first place.

I made calls today, and got several quotes. It turns out, we can combine our homeowner’s insurance with our car insurance, and spend way less than we’ve been paying for home insurance. Going from $2800 a year, down to $1040 a year, is a good chunk to save!

Adam ain’t perfect, y’all. I really chewed him out, last night. I told him it isn’t fair to bust my chops about something that he turns around and does too. I can’t hold him down and spank him, but I’m a damn good “attorney”. I know how to argue, when I’m in the right. I don’t like to be upset with him. I get no pleasure from all of this. He was wrong, though. It mattered a whole lot, to me. I know how to make the dollars stretch. I’m paying half our mortgage every other week, rather than the whole amount just once per month. Doing that will have us paying off our house 1/3 quicker. Rather than it taking 30 years to pay off our home, we can do it in 20. I’m a forward thinker. It’s how I feel safe. I need to know there’s a plan for the important things.

Adam has been pretty quiet, today. I don’t want to be mad at him anymore. I hate to have a crappy evening. I really don’t want to do it again, tonight. All I need is for him to understand and acknowledge the reasons why I was so hurt and angry. I hope we can have a better night.

5 thoughts on “When I’m Right, I’m Right

  1. You are doing an amazing job with your family’s finances. It’s a really big job with a lot of responsibility that can be stressful. It is important that this is recognised and you need all the information to keep caring for the security of your family. Sharing valuable information is respectful. It’s good that you communicated your needs and being angry is normal but like you say it feels horrible to hang onto that. I love how you can let things go once you have explained your position. Relationships are often trial and learning. We could probably do with getting some skills on managing relationships more generally and conflict mediation at school rather than some of the useless stuff they teach us 😂😩😂

    Liked by 1 person

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