I call myself a femininitist. That’s not a misspelling of feminist. As I’ve said before, I’m all about equal rights for men and women. I believe we should all have the ability to make choices for ourselves about what we want to do with our lives. I do not, however, believe that women need to become men to achieve equality of the sexes. Too many people seem to equate being equal to mean “the same”. Men and women are not the same, and that’s okay! We have equal value as a person. We have equal rights. We have more similarities than differences, really. Personally, I love men and masculinity. I’m not talking about the guy who can bench press 800 pounds, degrades others, picks fights, and treats women like objects to be used and abused. I mean real, healthy, sexy, masculinity. A man who knows he can take care of business. A man who can and will do whatever it takes to protect others, but also has self control and doesn’t have to be a dick to get control of a situation. I’ve seen Adam deescalate plenty of almost fights. If a man hurt me or threatened me, I have no doubt Adam would knock him to the ground if he had to, but I love the quiet strength he exudes. Violence isn’t the go to option. It’s a last resort. If it’s necessary, he will absolutely put himself in harms way to protect those he cares about. The word masculinity has gotten a bad rep and that seriously bothers me. People are lumping all men together as if they’re all violent, sexist, heartless unless they denounce their manhood in favor of more feminine behaviors and attitudes. You need to be more like women, men and boys are being told.
On the flip side, girls and women are being taught that we need to act like men. Fight the patriarchy! Resist any man who tries to pay for your dinner, open your door for you, offers to help lift something heavy…Any sign of masculinity from a man is shunned. If a woman gets loud, bossy, threatens to punch your lights out, objectifies men, treats them as second class, that’s not only encouraged, it’s celebrated! We seem to be taking these stereotypes of truly toxic behavior generalized as masculinity and trying to emulate those characteristics as women. These are not desirable traits in a man or a woman.
If we could just embrace our own feminine powers and realize that we can do so much more to achieve success in our lives if we accept and use our uniquely feminine attributes and abilities, we could do anything! Men want to make us happy. I read about this type of bird who will work and work to build the most beautiful nest to attract his mate. He finds shiny pieces of foil and string to decorate the nest with. If, after some time has passed, no mate has shown interest in his nest, he will tear it down and start all over. Ladies, men are so much like those birds. They want to please us! Understand and use their desire to make us happy instead of insulting and degrading them for it. Masculine and feminine are ying and yang. We work beautifully together. I call myself a femininitist because I love femininity. I can’t open the pickle jar, lift that heavy box, or pee standing up, but I can grow our beautiful babies in my belly and then feed them with my own body. I beat my husband at scrabble every single time. Adam asks me for help writing a paper because he knows I’m a spelling and grammar queen. He brings home the bacon, I fry it up. Of course, this is not the way all men and women would like to live out their marriage, and that’s okay too. As for me though, I’m a femininitist.
7 thoughts on “Feminine-ism”
I love this! It speaks my heart.
I say often “I’m an old fashion feminist”
I wanted to stay home, have babies and nurture them. I like washing my families dirty clothes, growing a garden. I also believe we woman can do whatever we want. I also believe the the more we “take” from our men, the less they have to be proud of.
Working, having a career is NOT a bad thing for women, if its right for your home. For our home, my husband wants to be the bread winner, bring home the bacon. He loves to know I take care of him and the kids. It works for us. We have gotten a little off track over the years with kids, home schooling, running a house, his business, etc… but we are finding a new way that will help both of us!
And now, thanks to C for now, I can open that freaking pickle jar too!!
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There is no reason that cannot achieve equal in that we are both vital to the success of a healthy relationship. Our goal should always be to see the good in the other and build them up. Doing so improves the relationship and, by extension, our lives. That said, time for an example of such….
Want to know how YOU can open a pickle jar lid quickly & effortlessly?
Sure! That would be useful information to have 🙂
Pay careful attention here. Ask questions if you have any.
Turn a stove burner on to oh say medium. Want some heat so give it 30 seconds or so. Place the jar on the burner LID DOWN for a few seconds. Think 3 or 4 seconds. This will warm the lid and expand the metal ever so slightly but it isn’t long enough to suddenly heat (and shatter) the glass. Flip the jar over on the counter and pop off the lid!
IF you wish, use a rag between skin and lid. Goal is for lid to be warmed quickly but not scalding hot. Should you have trouble, try again and add a bit of heat OR a second or two more time.
Do not forget to turn stove off!
Now, you can open the new jar of pickles and have his sandwich ready without interrupting his endeavors. Though you can open the jar, he still gets the respect for being him, you get the respect for your efforts and you are both more effective in your roles. Still a strong man, still a stronger woman and still a strong relationship. Maybe y’all try the trick together the first time. Just a thought.
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I am absolutely going to try it as soon as I need a new jar opened! That’s amazing!
You are welcome ma’am.
I love how you’ve put this! I’ve tried a million times to explain that I am a feminist AND a housewife who submits to her husband. The biggest turn on to me is that quiet, confident masculinity that doesn’t need to scream I’m a man to impress anyone.
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