Controlling Ourselves

We had our neighbors and their kids over Friday evening. We made s’mores with the kids and let them all play outside on the trampoline and swing set while we sat out and talked. They’re very nice people, and their daughter is good friends with our daughter. They are “dog people” who’ve just adopted their third dog. However, I couldn’t help but feel some type a way when he kept going on and on about how pit bulls are such bad dogs. They know Oliver is a pit/lab mix. He insists it’s because he’s a mix that he’s a good boy… I so strongly disagree with that sentiment! It frustrates me to hear people who claim to love dogs not understand that pit bulls are not “bad dogs” simply because of their breed. They’re great big babies! They love kids. They’re playful and sweet. Oliver jumps on the trampoline with the kids. He understands to play more gently with our daughter when they’re doing tug of war. He absolutely loves when our friend’s 3 year old son is here. He cuddles next to him whether he’s playing or napping or watching TV. Oliver has a few pit bull friends he gets to play with sometimes, and they always play so good together! I swear…some people are idiots. I’m sorry to be so drastic, but they have no idea what they’re missing out on by writing off an entire breed of dog like that! Ok, rant over.

Saturday evening, we had a friend come by and Jackie was home. We played cornhole and then sat out around the fire pit. I’d finally talked to Jackie about how I felt about that new guy that I just don’t feel right about. This friend who was here Saturday night is a great guy who likes her a lot. She likes him too, but she has treated him crappy simply because he has allowed it from her. Adam has had conversations with him about his needing to stop being afraid to stand up to Jackie. I’ve even made a few comments while we’ve been hanging out and Jackie says or does something disrespectful. Well, Saturday night, we were playing cornhole. Jackie and I are always a team, while the other guy plays on Adam’s team. Adam and I stand on one end to throw the bag to our partners side, where Jackie and “super trooper” (that’s his nickname) stood. I didn’t catch it, but Adam had heard Jackie say something and the next thing I knew, I turned around and Adam’s pulling his belt out through his jean’s belt loops. I know that sound… I said “Wait, what? Wh…why do you have that?!” He held it up in the air and Jackie shut right up. Super trooper started to take his belt off (mostly playing around) and Jackie yelled at Adam for teaching super trooper to stand up to her. Super trooper smacked her once with his belt and she marched over to Adam to chew him out. She asked him if he knows how bad that thing hurts? He assured her that he does. She wanted to swing his belt down on him once, so he handed it to her. I warned her that it just isn’t very satisfying because he always only laughs at me when I try that! She swung and got him on the back of his thighs. He asked her if that was the best she had. I told her “SEE”!! Then, last night, I was in the shower with Adam and I saw this dark purple bruise on his leg and asked him what the world he did there!? He had no idea where it came from. Later, Jackie had mentioned when she smacked Adam and how he just laughed at her, and it finally occurred to me, that’s where that bruise came from! Then, I considered how much damage that damn belt could do if he swung it down hard on me. Adam is a hell of a lot stronger than Jackie is! I don’t know why it suddenly occurred to me that Adam is actually very gentle, even when he’s being firm. I have never, ever had a bruise like that from a spanking! Small, “finger bruises” sometimes, but nothing close to how his thigh looked. This gave me two thoughts at once. One, that is beyond scary to think what damage that belt really could do!!! Two, Adam has clearly been very in control, even when he’s upset with me, because he’s never spanked me that hard. I don’t want to be, either. I’m both more afraid of the belt, and less afraid of Adam. Not that I’ve ever been afraid of him. I just mean that it reassured me that he knows exactly what he’s doing, even when I’ve pushed so hard that he’s angry with me. He will never seriously harm me. I already knew that he wouldn’t, but that proved it to me. This does not mean he wouldn’t make it hurt hella bad! This does not mean I’m no longer afraid of his hand, belt, whatever he’s got to punish me with! Just…holy shit my husband is strong. Mentally, emotionally, physically. It’s kind of incredible to me.

2 thoughts on “Controlling Ourselves

  1. Eve, every day is a learning experience, a give and take, your love for each other and trust helps you both to learn and appreciate your experiences. Yes a belt will hurt but you can learn form it, you each trust each other, so you know in your hearts no really bad experiences will befall either of you. Sir

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