We had a good friend for years and years. He’s in his late 40s, hopelessly single, kind of goofy, but we loved him. He spent so many Easter, July 4, Thanksgiving, and Christmas Eves with us. I have a tradition for Christmas Eve. I buy pajamas for everyone, and they open them on Christmas Eve. The kids look forward to it every year. I always included our friend, because he was always at our house. I won’t be buying pajamas for him, this year, because he won’t be here.
About a year ago, he started to get extra weird. We didn’t see as much of him, and when we did, he wasn’t himself. He was constantly in the emergency room with “panic attacks”. He got mean and hateful to some other friends who’ve known him since they were kids. I suspected what was happening, but I didn’t want to believe it. He saw what we went through with my mother. He hated her for what she did to us. Now, he’s the one doing cruel things. It breaks my heart. He’s throwing away everyone and everything that ever mattered to him, and he’s too numbed up on drugs to care.
Our “friend” sent a text message to another mutual friend of ours suggesting our friend didn’t have enough money to “buy [Eve]”. As if I’m up for sale to any man with enough money to buy me. Ridiculous. It makes me sad. It made Adam livid. I talked him down. I told Adam, I don’t want him to do anything. I’m not angry. My feelings are hurt. Adam told me, “Believe it or not, your feelings matter to me. That’s what makes me so mad. Nobody talks like that about my wife.” I understand that saying or doing anything to this friend will only feed into his delusions. It will simply confirm the lies he tells himself about how awful WE all are to him. The best thing we can do, is nothing. We can’t fix his problem. He doesn’t want our help.
Addiction isn’t picky. It finds everyone. Rich, poor. Uneducated, highly educated. Mechanics, coal miners, lawyers, doctors. Men, women. Young, old. I have compassion for these people. I truly do. I don’t know how to get past the damage they’ve done to me when they’re not even sorry. My mother, this friend, they don’t even acknowledge that they have done this. I refuse to continue to allow it in my life. One day, if these people are willing to work on themselves, recognize the things they’ve done, and ask for forgiveness, I will be there. Until then, I still have some pretty great people.
My family, in our group chat, like everyday…
Yep. These are my people ❤️
Chronicles in Submission 
Eve, you are right on, addition hits anyone at anytime, no one can do anything unless the person wants help. Your heart may be sorrowful but one has to let others be themselves when they don’t want help. Adam will always protect you, that you can count on. Enjoy your Thanksgiving and go all out for Christmas. Sir
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Adam and I were walking, this afternoon, and we saw a couple out hanging Christmas lights and decor outside. Adam teased, “isn’t it a little early?” The wife said, “it’s NEVER too early!” I nudged Adam and told him, “seee!” The husband looked over at Adam, from his perch on the ladder, and said, “I’d rather hang ‘em while it’s warm!” I said that was an excellent point! I think I’ve worn Adam down enough to get him to start helping me to put up our stuff for Christmas soon!
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