Our son got suspended from school, today. He got into a shoving match with another boy. The other boy told him “your mama should’ve raised you better”, and our son told him “don’t talk about my mama like that”. I guess some pushing and shoving followed. I love my little man for always wanting to stand up for me! I missed the phone call from the principal, so they called Adam. Adam heard about this before I did. I wasn’t supposed to talk to our son about it until Adam got home. Adam wanted to be a part of the whole conversation. I did my best to soften Adam up, though. Our son just became a teenage boy. He’s got hormones coursing through him. Isn’t this just what boys do?! When Adam got home, he walked in the door with a purpose. Our son was very concerned about what his daddy was going to think about all this.
We talked to him. Adam was much more “stern”, and he gave our son a list of jobs he needs to do, while he’s out of school tomorrow. I told our son, he has to learn to determine is it worth it? Is fighting that other boy worth losing his spot on the wrestling team? I told him to imagine he’s at a gas station, and some guy starts mouthing off. If you approach him, you never know what this guy might do. Maybe he’s got a weapon? Maybe, your mama will get a phone call that you aren’t ever coming home again. All because some guy mouthed off to him. I said, now imagine that you’re at the same gas station, with a cute girl you love, and this guy starts to hurt her. Is it worth it to step in, now? This is the thing he has to consider. I’ve done told everyone I know, if someone ever harms my babies, I’m fine with prison. I’m not going to go out and look for trouble, and then spend my life sitting in a cell away from my family. I will do it, though, if I have to. Life is all about figuring out the risks and rewards. My poor sweet boy was breaking my heart. I think I made a difference, talking to him like I did. I think Adam did his part, too. He put the fear of Adam into our son if this happens again without a good reason. We’ve always told our kids they can defend themselves, and we won’t be mad. My boy is really starting to grow up. Still, nothing feels better than having him feel like he can come and cry on his mama’s shoulder, when he’s having a tough time.
I told Adam, he gets to be the “soft place” for our daughter. It’s as important to me that I can be that for our son. I don’t want to “baby” him. I just want him to know he can always come to me and, no matter what, he can cry on my shoulder and I will do everything I can to help him through it.
The truth is, as a parent, we’re all winging it. I’m just doing the very best that I know how to. It’s the same with marriage. I do everything I know how to, while doing my best to learn about how to do even better. I love my children from the deepest, purest part of my soul. I know Adam does, too. We just show that love to them in different ways. I’m thankful that they are growing up with both of us. Together, we make a pretty great team. I know our son did something silly today, but he’s a great kid.
Our daughter woke up with a fever and a horrible cough. Influenza is going around horribly here. I spent my morning taking care of her, and my afternoon taking care of our son. I’m about to spend the rest of the evening doing my best to love and support my husband, now. I realized, I appreciate him for allowing me to be the soft place for our son. He has to be the “hard ass”. I get to be the one my little boy goes to when he just needs a hug. That means more to me than I can describe.
6 thoughts on “It Wasn’t Me…This Time”
This was such a great post namely because of the wonderful teamwork of two loving and caring parents. I believe your son learned his lesson, an important one at that, because you obeyed your husband about waiting for him to come home before dealing with your son
That is a father’,s duty and he can, and did make a positive impression.Then you made a great explanation and you provided a “soft” place as you called it.(I love that term!)
My dad was overseas a lot as I was growing up. My mom tried hard to teach me things that only a father could effectively teach. My life would have been a lot easier if dad had been there.
I told you recently that with parents like you your children are blessed. I was right
God bless you and your family!
Thank you sooo much for this post!
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I’ve raised 3 boys to adulthood – and I know opinions vary. A son of a friend of ours for into a fight over something another boy said about his mother. I took the time to tell our son, ” nothing a 13 year old boy says about me is worth a fight- do you understand me? I will be more disappointed in you if you think you are defending my honour to some kid, than if you walk away. I am not insulted by others opinions”. Of course the grown men in our lives commented about some code that just isn’t broken . I call bull shit.
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I had a similar conversation with my son ❤️
Eve, an awesome post, so proud of you, Adam and your family. You both are bringing up your kiddies with good manners and family spirit. Defending ones family is the highest priority! He understand the consequences of his actions and your reasoning behind your reactions. You and Adan should take a Bow! Well done both of you. Sir 🙂
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