~BlackBerry Smoke

We were in bed by 9:30pm, last night. Adam went to work, but I could’ve slept in. Instead, I woke up, wide awake, at 5:45am. My school days alarm goes off at 5:41am. I always set alarms for times that don’t end in increments of 5 minutes. If I need to be up at 5:00am, I set my alarm for either 4:59, or 5:01. It drives Jackie crazy, but I have a weird thing about alarms. It’s just one of my “quirks”.

I’m doing lots of laundry, today. I kind of neglected my household stuff, this weekend. We had such a full, fun weekend, but I didn’t get much done around the house. I’m playing catch up, now. I’m making potato soup, for supper. I add diced ham to it, because Adam is a big “meat and potatoes” type of guy. He never once has complained about something I’ve cooked, but I still know his preferences, and I try to always keep them in mind.

I was listening to a podcast, earlier. They were discussing “intrusive thoughts”. He said, if you’re plagued by thoughts or memories of something that still haunts you from your past, the best way to help yourself, is to intentionally bring these things to your mind once in awhile. Think the memory through. Tell yourself what you can do to prevent this ever happening again. Remind yourself that you’re stronger and wiser, now. I thought that was neat advice. This is something that happens to me, occasionally. I can be going about my day, when I’m slapped with “intrusive thoughts” about an old trauma. I hadn’t ever heard this advice, but I did do something like that, after I was sexually assaulted. I told myself the story, sometimes. I reminded myself that I hadn’t done anything wrong. I didn’t deserve it. I remembered how I thought, felt, what I was wearing, all of the ways I had nothing to do with what happened to me. It helped me to get past it, too. I don’t really struggle, when it comes to that memory, anymore. I do still have some other issues that I might have to try to work through, using his advice.

I’ve got music playing, now. The dishwasher, washer, and dryer are all going. The kids must be recovering, from the busy weekend, because they slept in, and have been pretty quiet and lazy. I’m just letting them be. It’s about 65 degrees, outside, but it’s cloudy and dreary. That makes it extra hard to find motivation! I suppose I’ll go get the rest of my list checked off, before I get too sleepy from standing still. I’d like to vacuum and sweep and mop. We’ve had a lot of people in and out of our house, so the floors need a good cleaning.

2 thoughts on “Restless

  1. Eve, you area strong woman, wife and mother. the past is always with us, we can’t change it but we can learn form it and it sounds to me like you are learning from it and are a better person for it.
    Try to enjoy your day and kudos to you. Sir 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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