Someone

I’m damaged goods, I’m complicated

I sure do know how to tell a lie

Some people say, “I ain’t worth savin'”
Sometimes I think they’re right

‘Cause someone else would’ve walked away
Someone else would’ve never stayed
Sure as hell, someone else would’ve left me
A long, long time ago

Someone else would’ve called my bluff
Saying, “I ain’t even worth their love”
No one else could’ve loved me like you do
Thank God, my someone’s you ❤️

~Aaron Lewis

I knew Adam was feeling sad, last night. This grandma he lost, yesterday, was someone he grew up very close to. I get it. It’s never easy to say “goodbye”. Even when it’s time, it’s painful. When he got home from work, he walked into the kitchen. I stopped what I was doing, walked to him, and hugged him tight. We stood there for awhile, arms wrapped around each other, swaying back and forth together. He stayed in the kitchen, and we just talked about a whole lot of nothing, while I finished cooking our supper. As much as my husband knows me, and works to give me what I need when I need it, I know him too. I can find strength, when he can’t. I find the best ways that I can, to help him through. If he needs to stand there, while we hold onto one another, I’ll stay as long as he needs it. If he needs comfort, I’m here. If he needs to hear some things that might be hard to hear, I’ll say them. We don’t always express our love in the same ways, but I think we give each other what we’re needing. I think we do a pretty good job of being the “someone” we each need. We get it wrong, once in awhile, but we get it right a whole lot more.

We had a good evening, despite the lingering sadness that hung in the air. We teased and laughed a lot, while we all sat at the table and ate our supper. It was one of those days we were reminded to enjoy our precious time, with precious people. That’s exactly what we did, too. Although hurt wasn’t fully healed, joy spoke louder.

It was a beautiful evening, outside. Adam helped me water the flowers, and I showed him all the work Jackie had helped me do. We set up the outdoor spaces up on the deck, and down on the patio. Then, we took our shower. We talked a bunch more. When we finished, it was time to tuck the kids into their beds. After, we brushed our teeth and got ready for bed. Our night ended with the most physically intimate way a couple can express love to one another. Although we do have sex most every night, there’s a different closeness that comes from every touch, sometimes. The way we look into each other’s eyes. The way we speak, move, breathe, and touch. I like a good old fashioned “fuck”, as much as anyone. “Making love” isn’t just another name for that, though. Both kinds of sex have their place and time, but they’re not the same.

Adam called me, this morning, just to chat. He doesn’t do that everyday. I thought that was sweet. As much as he is my “someone”, it means the world to me that, for him, I’m his “someone”.