~Jordan Davis

One of my babies was nearly taken from us, yesterday. Mikayla. Saturday, she’d gone to an honor guard competition. Her team had won. She was so proud and happy! She came home and showed off her pictures with their trophies. Justin and Jackie were here. It was such a beautiful Saturday.

Sunday morning, she left for work. I’d heard her walk out the front door, but I was in the other room. She didn’t come to tell me she was leaving, because she thought I was still asleep. I was really just in my bathroom. I knew where she was headed to, though.

Minutes later, I was standing in my kitchen, stirring my coffee, when my phone rang. It was my baby’s number. My heart leapt through my chest, as I answered it. I somehow knew. My words that followed were simply, “Oh my God, what happened?!” Something in me already sensed that I was about to hear a series of words strung together, I’d prayed would never come. My hysterical daughter screamed, “Mama! Mama!” I kept repeating “WHAT?! WHAT?!” Finally, she was able to tell me, through her terrified tears, “I crashed my car!” Adam had already heard her through my phone. We were on our way out the door, as I was speaking to her. She was only blocks from home. Her car, and my baby, were down a steep ditch, surrounded by trees. I’m struggling through my own sobs and tears, just to write this down now. Telling this story, here, is the first time I’ve really allowed myself to replay the whole series of events. The panic and fear that I continue to feel, is unmatched by any other life occurrence. I cannot bear to imagine my life without one of my children here. I didn’t even hug her goodbye. I could have missed my last opportunity to hold onto her. Even though, thank God, she is okay, I can’t stop the flood of emotion that comes when I consider, but what if. I would never, ever, forgive myself.

She is pretty banged up. She’s got a deep bruise down her shoulder and chest, from her seatbelt. She’s got whiplash, a possible concussion, and several other bumps and bruises. She’s been taking pain medication, along with ice packs and rest. Unfortunately, her car won’t be okay. It’s a total loss. That little white car that she worked for two summers to pay for. She was so very proud to have bought her own car, and rightfully so! This kid has been an honor student, through her whole school career. She’s the hardest working teenager anybody’s ever known. She excels at everything she sets her mind to. All the things she has, have been hard earned, and well deserved. In an instant, her prized possession was all gone. Mine (my daughter) is still here. Although I’m grateful beyond words, to have been able to bring our baby back home, I’m devastated this happened to my sweet girl. As I watch our security camera video of her walking out, Sunday morning, tears pour from my eyes. I see my carefree, happy child, with a little bounce in her step, as she left for work. I can feel that a piece of her innocence was lost, after her accident, just moments later. A piece of my daughter’s joy was taken from her, and from the world. I’m certain, she’ll get a new car, and life will go on. She’ll smile and laugh. She’ll have plenty of happiness. But, there’s a part of her that I’m aware will probably never return. I so deeply wish I could go back in time, and run out to stop her from having left just yet. Hug my girl, tell her how much I love her, and ask her to go a different way to work.

My heart is heavy. Emotions are raw. I didn’t get a minute of sleep, last night, so I’m also exhausted. The purest love I have, is for my babies. I hurt when they hurt. I cry when they’re sad. I celebrate their successes. I’ve plead to God so many times, over the last 24 hours, please don’t call any of my children “home”, for many many more years. I never want to miss another opportunity to hold them, and remind them how much they’re loved. I just want to make this all better, for her. I’m so incredibly proud to be her mama. To be all of my children’s mama.

Give your loved ones an extra squeeze, tonight. We truly never know when, or if, our next opportunity to do so will come.

~SMO

Y’all…I’ve got so many projects going, right now! Wyatt stayed home sick Monday and Tuesday. He’s finally back in school, today. I’ve been working on some wood crafts.

I’m also going to be making, and selling/gifting, more decorative signs. I’ve got several round ones, like I used for Jackie’s. I want to buy some other sizes and shapes of unfinished wood. I’d like to make some porch lean signs, too. I’m making Fall themed ones, and going to start on Winter/Christmas ones, to get ahead of the season. I have lots of seasonal stencils, and paints, so I’m excited to play around with these ideas I’ve got rolling around inside my head!

Besides all my crafting, I have been getting ready to make my first podcast episode. I didn’t even have any headphones, microphones, laptop, mouse… I have my iPad, and a wireless keyboard. I ordered headphones, with built in microphones, and a Bluetooth mouse. I’ve designated a spot in the basement, for a small table and a couple of chairs, so there’ll be a comfy place to do this with as little distraction as possible. If anyone has suggestions for things you’d like me to talk about, please share them! I’m not a shy person, and I rarely have nothing to say, but it feels a little silly to me, just talking to myself. I do plan to have Jackie and Adam be part of some podcasts too, though.

Jackie’s coming over, later. We’re going to a few stores, for my craft supplies. We also love to shop around secondhand places, and find things to restore or repurpose. It’s about to be September! I need to start getting busy with Christmas gift ideas. I enjoy making things for my people. I’ve made candles, soaps, ornaments. I’ve had the kids paint coffee mugs and tea towels, to give to family. It’s a lot of fun, coming up with something special and unique, that I can do for somebody.

Adam and I are great. He commented, last night, about how good I’ve been. 😊 He’s looking so fine, these days. I’m crazy about how sexy his neck, shoulders, and arms are. I love running my hands down his neck, and wrapping them around his upper arms. Well, as much as I can wrap them around his arms. My fingers don’t actually stretch that far.

Jackie just texted me. She’s up and about. I guess I should go get myself dressed and ready to go. I was getting distracted and horny, writing about my sexy husband, anyway.

~John Cougar Mellencamp

Although I haven’t posted in a couple days, I have been working on something that I’m excited to get up and running on here! I’m getting very close to having it ready to share with y’all.

We went to Jackie’s pool, Friday, as soon as the kids got home from school. It was her birthday, so we swam and hung out there for hours. It was a lot of fun!

Justin and Jackie flew to attend a Jellyroll concert, yesterday. It looked like a lot of fun, too! My sister and I are also going to be meeting Justin in a couple weeks, to help him pick out Jackie’s engagement ring!!!

Adam, the kids, and I stayed home and watched movies last night. The heatwave finally ended, yesterday evening. We got a good thunderstorm with lots of rain. Today, I’ve been crafting. I have a couple of different things I’m creating. I’m fixing “breakfast” for supper, tonight. Pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash browns, sausage, and bacon.

It’s been a very relaxed weekend, with no trouble found. Wyatt’s not feeling very well. I had gotten a summer cold, last week. Mj got it, next. Today, it made its way to Wyatt. Poor kid’s been sleeping most of the day.

My family is (not so) patiently waiting for me to get supper started. So, I suppose I should get busy. I still need to pack lunches for Adam and the kids, too.

Which was never good anyway…

~Lorrie Morgan

To be honest, it hasn’t been a terrible Monday. However, I did get busted for putting off something I needed to get done. Adam discovered my procrastination, this afternoon.

I was downstairs. I’d washed and hung out all the bedding, to dry. When it was done, I went to make all the beds. Adam got home from work, just as I was making the one in our guest room. Our basement camera caught this embarrassing (for me) moment.

Just thought, since our camera had recorded this little piece of rare footage, I’d go ahead and share it here. After all, it is a pretty typical glimpse into the moments before a spanking, at least at our house.

~Uncle Lucius

We went for a drive in “The General”. It’s their 4 seat side by side ATV. I’m helping my brother in law make some sweet corn and sides, for supper. Adam’s grilling the steaks, while he finishes the brisket on the smoker. What a freakin’ FUN day!

My papa taught me how to work and Lord, he was mean
Working all day in that August heat
He taught me how to fish
My uncle taught me how to drink

~Chayce Beckham

My taste in music is literally all over the place 😆

We left for our trip, Saturday morning. We got here around 5:30, last night. Adam’s mom had made BLTs for us. I took a quick shower, and then we went fishing. Wyatt and Adam each caught a fish. After that, the kids went back to Grandma’s house (Adam’s mom’s), and we went into the family’s shop. Adam’s brother, and a couple friends of theirs came over. We all played pool, talked, and had a few drinks. We’re heading out to do some target practicing, with some guns. This evening, there’s a local parade. They had a car show, and then there’s a parade down Main Street. We’re taking the kids to watch. Plus, they’ll get a ton of candy thrown out to them. So, that’s fun 😊

This week, Adam will be helping his brother with their family business. He’ll be working hard. Adam’s mom took this coming week off work, so we’re going to be hanging out with the kids. My niece and nephew are here. Mj and Wyatt are super close to them. They always have a blast! The boys camped out, in a tent, last night. The girls slept inside. We’re here through this entire next week. We’ll leave for home, around 8:00am, next Saturday.

I’m having a real nice little “vacation”, here with Adam and his family. They’re good people, and they’re all so happy we’re here.

The night before we left, Adam and I were brushing our teeth. I started to roll my eyes at him. I truly didn’t mean to! I caught myself, and stopped halfway through. Adam caught it too, though. He gave me a few stinging swats, but I could tell he wasn’t really upset with me. He said he didn’t want my butt to hurt, when we were fixing to spend an entire day in the car. Besides this little “slip”, we’ve had no troubles.

When we got back, after our fun at the shop, Adam and I told the kids goodnight, and went to our room. We made love, and went to sleep. I woke up, about an hour later, to Adam removing my panties again. We had another “round”, and slept until 9:00am, this morning! I asked him, what brought that on? He said that, he loves the way I love to be a part of his family. He told me, he likes to “show me off”, and that it’s sexy, that I’m down to go do whatever it is they want to, while we’re visiting them. I really do love his family, and friends.

I’m removing the American flag design I’d painted on my toenails, a few weeks ago. I’m putting a different color on them. I’ve got my short overalls on, and my hair tied into a half updo. I’m ready to go shoot a bunch of guns, and spend some more time immersed into Adam’s world, here.

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
May you stay forever young

~Audra Mae & The Forest Rangers

Adam and I spent yesterday evening arguing through text messages. Our son had his “girlfriend” over here, yesterday afternoon and evening. While I was fixing supper, they had gone and asked Adam if they could go on a walk. When he got back home, I saw his neck looked like he’d survived a vampire attack… Hickeys covered his neck. Adam and I talked about it, and he informed me, he’d seen these hickeys on our son, before they’d even gone on their little “walk”. My frustration boiled over. I went and ran myself a hot bath. Then, I began to send Adam some angry texts. As you’ll see, I didn’t exactly hold my opinions in.

Wyatt hadn’t ever gotten physical, with a girl. He hadn’t even kissed anyone, in any real way. He’s moving way too fast, and I’m not liking it one bit. I also feel frustrated as hell, that Adam seems to have this double standard, between our girls and boy. He would FLIP OUT, if that had been a daughter, instead of his son. When we went to bed, we continued a long conversation about all of this. Wyatt’s much too young to be thinking about sex. It absolutely terrifies me. I just want my babies to get a chance to live out their entire childhoods. I didn’t get to do that. It’s been one of the most important things I’ve aimed to give my children. I understand, they have to grow. I don’t want them to have to grow up, any sooner than they should, though. He’s barely a teenager. There’s still plenty of growing and maturing to be done.

This morning, Wyatt asked me if his girlfriend could come over. I told him, not today. Shortly after, I received a couple of text messages from him.

This parenting stuff isn’t for the weak! I love my babies so much. I desperately want to do the right and best things for them, always. We’ve had rules, about friends the kids have over. They’re not to close their door, when someone else is over. They’re not to have anyone over, unless Adam or I are home. I have their locations, on my phone. I’m trying to navigate this line, between giving them space to learn and even to make mistakes, but not allowing them to go too far. It’s my job to keep them safe.

We’re heading over to swim at Poppy’s, here soon. Wyatt, Mj, and me. Poppy will be there, too. I’m making shepherd’s pie, for supper tonight. I already cooked the ground beef, and I’m going to get the casserole ready to go, before we leave. This way, I can take it out of our fridge, and put it right into the oven, when we get back home from swimming.

I’m feeling nostalgic, for when my kids were little. It was so much easier to protect them.

My parents brought me up to treat everyone as an equal
I refuse to feel ashamed ’cause of my pretty blue eyes
Fuck a Nazi, fuck a white supremacist
Fuck anyone who labels me as that because of my family genetics

I’m not the white devil, neo-Nazi, cop tryna pull the trigger
You can call me what you want but I’d still never say
The white race as a whole ain’t the enemy
There’s racist white people but we’re far from that collectively

White boy, white noise
Sayin’ shit I can’t say with my white voice
White boys, white lies
Don’t tell me how to see it through my white eyes

White people that you hate aren’t your neighbors or lawyers
They’re the Rockafellers, Rothschilds, Bushes, and royals
They’re the people who monopolize the water and oil
And injected your communities with drugs ’til they spoil
Got no patience for Nazis, I think they’re better off dead
They’re fighting hatred with hatred makin’ the hate more intense
I don’t want nothing to do with either side of the fence

Bein’ white and bein’ racist aren’t the same man, I promise
Know it’s hard to tell the difference if I’m just being honest
I deserve the chance to show you I’m not part of the problem
And you owe it to yourselves, we got so much in common

~Tom Macdonald

A couple months ago, a neighborhood near us woke up to discover flyers on their doors, the “KKK” had left them. It’s sickening, to know that kind of hatred exists so near us. I’ve never claimed that racism isn’t a thing. I see it, too. My husband’s best friend is Hispanic. We have a lot of Egyptian American friends. My daughter, Mj’s, best friend is Native American. Mikayla and Wyatt have friends of many different races, ethnicities, and sexualities. We welcome all of our friends into our home. It scared me, when those flyers were put up so close to us. It’s scary, because those assholes who hide behind hoods, certainly wouldn’t find me to be any ally of theirs. It’s terrifying, for our friends. I’m afraid to let my teenager’s black male friend walk home alone, after dark. It shouldn’t be that way! It’s wrong. I have absolute compassion for the people who experience this kind of hatred, just because of the way they exist in our world. For how they look, speak, dress, or love. I promise to never stop challenging discrimination. My only ask, is for the same things I give to everyone I meet. I am who I am. I look how I look. I’m a Christian. I’m in a very “traditional” marriage. I’m outspoken as hell. I’m always open to opinions and conversation. My mind has been changed. I’ve never came from a place of hate or any desire to hurt others. Even if I say something that might be offensive to someone, that’s never my intention. It’s impossible to be someone who everyone agrees with. I’d never expect that. I am me. Imperfect and sometimes very wrong. I won’t be ashamed of my own immutable characteristics, though. I can be proud of my heritage, my parents and grandparents, and their struggles that got me where I am today. I won’t hide my identity. And, I won’t ever insist that anyone else hide who they are. Whether I understand it, or not. I’m always willing to listen. Not every conversation is going to end with us being best friends, but I will show respect. That word, respect, isn’t shameful. The action, showing respect, is something everyone should receive. Giving respect nearly always results in you getting it back. There is hate filled crap that hate filled folks say and do. I’ll never be on their side. My skin tone, my Southern accent, and my religion are not what makes me good or bad. We can’t know who each other is, until we ask them.

Love, Me.

On another, completely unrelated note, my doctor’s orders for investigating this suspicious lump in my boob, got messed up. They needed a “diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound” to be ordered, and I guess that wasn’t how it was sent. So, I contacted my doctor, and he told me he’d send in what they needed. I haven’t heard back, yet. Adam wants me to call again, today. I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I suppose it wouldn’t hurt anything, if I go ahead and reach out again? So, that’s where I’m at, with that…