“The longer I live, the more I believe, you do have to give if you want to receive. There’s a time to listen, and a time to talk. And, you might have to crawl, even after you walk. Had sure things blow up in my face. Seen the long shot win the race. Been knocked down by the slamming’ door. Picked myself up and came back for more. Life’s a dance. You learn as you go. Sometimes you lead. Sometimes you follow. Don’t worry ‘bout what you don’t know. Life’s a dance. You learn as you go.”

~John Michael Montgomery

I often tell Adam, I can’t know what I don’t know. I suppose that’s how I’ve lived, all my life. People tell me, I always insist on learning things “the hard way”. I know I’m prone to taking chances. I’m careful about things I’ve learned better about. I’m responsible with money. I don’t ever put my children at risk. For myself, I can be kind of a risk taker. There’s this need to know, what if, that speaks so loudly to me. I need to find out, for myself. It’s like I’ve fallen so many times, I’m not particularly afraid of it anymore. I’m not sure whether it’s stupidity, courage, or maybe a mixture? I guess, it’s just who I am.

While there have been a series of unfortunate events, and people, who’ve failed me horribly, I mostly have been blessed to have people I know will be there, if I fall. If I make a mistake, there are people who I can count on. They will help me back up, onto my feet. Of course, I’d do the same for them! I love “my people” fiercely.

I automatically give “ my people” the benefit of doubt, until there’s irrefutable evidence to the contrary. I might view the rest of the world through skeptical eyes, but not “my people”. I pretty much expect the world is lying to me. Not “my people”, though. That can be devastating to me, when that deep trust gets broken. Despite being beaten down before, I always have faith in the people I love. It isn’t a half faith, either. It’s all in. This might be the risky side of me? It’s how I operate. If you’re in my circle, you’ve got my utmost trust. When that’s been tested, even in small ways, it shakes me. It’s hard for me to ever believe anyone I love would lie to me.

I’m not anywhere near perfect. I have told “half truths”. I do, what Adam calls, “sidestep”, sometimes. I always tell on myself, though. I can’t stand knowing I haven’t told the entire truth to someone I love. I’m not a liar. I absolutely can’t do that. I’ve lived this out for so long, “my people” always trust what I tell them. Having their trust is what keeps me honest. I won’t betray it. I’m a horrible liar. Even when it’s a silly thing, like a surprise, my ears turn beat red if I have to tell a fib, to keep the surprise a secret. So long as nobody specifically asks me about it, I can keep quiet. If I’m questioned, though, it’s game over.

Justin ordered flowers, for Jackie. He text me, and asked me to keep an eye out for them. I haven’t said a word about that surprise, to Jackie!

I’ve been paying my sister’s mobile phone bill, for almost 3 years, now. I finally gathered the courage to tell her, she’s going to have to do her own thing. She’s married. I really shouldn’t have to feel responsible for her bills. When our mother disappeared, my sister had been on her phone plan. When that got cut off, I invited her to get on mine. She was supposed to pay for her part of the bill, but it never happened. I’ve spent over $3,000 paying for her iPhone and Apple Watch bills. I told her, I’ll pay off what’s left of her iPhone, so she can keep it. She can take it and do whatever she wants with it. I can get a new phone, a new watch, and still spend less than I’ve been paying for hers and mine together. That was hard for me to do, though. I love my sister. I feel a responsibility toward her, beings I’m the “older”, sister. Adam never complained about her being under my phone plan, but I think it’s past time to give her the opportunity to “adult”, for herself. I love her to death, but it isn’t fair for Adam and I to be taking care of my married, grown sister’s bills. Even though I know all of these things I’m saying are true, I still felt guilty and nervous to tell her. She took it better than I’d worried she might. Thank goodness!

I think I’m going to go take the dogs for a walk, now that I’ve got all my “to do’s” checked off the list. It’s gorgeous, today! 72 degrees, sunny, and zero wind blowing. We heard someone cutting their grass, awhile ago. We also noticed our neighbor’s AC cut on, while Jackie and I sat on the deck, during her lunch break. I think it feels perfect. Lots of windows open, and the house is just right.

“Don’t blink. ‘Cause just like that, you’re 6 years old and you take a nap. Then you, wake up and you’re 25, and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife. Don’t blink. You just might miss your babies growing like mine did…”

I remember dancing with my son, Wyatt, when he was a little baby. This song specifically takes me back to those memories. I loved to dance with my babies. I always have music playing. I’d hold my babies, in my arms, and dance with them, until they fell asleep. Then, I’d keep dancing, because I so wanted to hang onto that moment. This song always got to me, because it’s so true. You wake up, and he’s 13…

The kids will be on Spring Break, next week. We’re going to go visit Adam’s mom, at the end of that week. March 18th, we’ve got a guitar night, at Poppy’s, planned. In April, we’re going to Florida, for a family vacation. Justin and Jackie are coming along, too. We’ve got some fun stuff coming up!

It’s sunny and warm again, today. The birds are singing. The trees are all starting to get green. Mosquitos are coming back to life, because I’ve gotten bit up, the last week or so.

I’m fixing my taco lasagne for supper, tonight. I’m planning to clean all the main floor bathrooms, and wash the kids bedding. It was rainy and crappy, on Sunday, so I waited until I knew it would be sunny and warm, so I can hang their blankets and sheets out. Earlier, Jackie helped me pull my stove out, so I could clean under and behind it. Kind of doing the “spring cleaning” thing, now! I need to run to the store, again. We need coffee, laundry detergent, and sour cream. I forgot to grab sour cream, for tonight’s supper. I swear, the minute I bring home groceries, I’m starting a new list of things we need…It never ends!

I’m going to grab myself one more cup of coffee, sit out on the deck, and then get myself ready to go to the store. I want to get that done, so I can be home when Jackie is on her lunch break. We want to sit out on the deck, and enjoy the weather. 😊

I don’t think I’ve shared this recipe, yet. I’m planning to make this, later this week. All you need is

A bag of frozen tater tots

1 pound ground beef or turkey

2 cans of sweet corn

2 cans of creamed corn

Velveeta (or your choice) cheese

Brown the ground beef. Shred the cheese. Mix corn, cheese, and ground beef in a 9×13 casserole dish. Top with a layer of tater tots. Bake at 425 degrees for about 20 minutes.

And we have another very simple, filling, and yummy supper 😊

“We’re up when the rooster crows
Clock in when the whistle blows
Eight hours ticking slow
And then tomorrow we’ll do it all over again”

“I’m a member of a blue collar crowd
They can never, nah they can’t keep us down
If you gotta, gotta label me, label me proud”

“I belong to the drinking class
Monday through Friday, man we bust our backs
If you’re one of us, raise your glass
I belong to the drinking class”

“We laugh, we cry, we love
Go hard when the going’s tough
Push back, come push and shove
Knock us down, we’ll get back up again and again”

“I’m a member of a good timing crowd
We get rowdy, we get wild and loud
If you gotta, gotta label me, label me proud”

“I belong to the drinking class
Monday through Friday, man we bust our backs
If you’re one of us, raise your glass
I belong to the drinking class”

“We all know why we’re here
A little fun, a little music, a little whiskey, a little beer
We’re gonna shake off those long week blues
Ladies, break out your dancing shoes
It don’t matter what night it is, it’s Friday
It’s Saturday and Sunday
I just want to hear you say
I just want to hear you sing it
Y’all sing it with me”

“We belong to the drinking class
Monday through Friday, man we bust our backs
If you’re one of us, raise your glass
We belong to the drinking class”

~Lee Brice

Jackie is starting to develop some real love, for Justin. It makes me so happy to see her this happy! He is amazing, to her. He’s become a great friend, to Adam and I. They’re planning to go meet his family, in Wyoming, this summer. Justin told Adam, if all keeps going this well, he wants to propose when they get back. It’s incredible, how when you find “your person”, everything just works. All of the pieces start to come together, and it’s such a beautiful thing to see happen for my best friend.

We have plans, for summer. We’re all going to get a 4 seater side by side, that we can take out driving, together. Jackie and Justin want to find a house in our subdivision. We have quickly all become great friends, and I believe it will stay this way. I can’t describe how excited I am, that Jackie has found Justin, and that we have all grown to be such close friends. Adam enjoys hanging out, with Justin. He gets silly, and laughs. They can do their own thing, while Jackie and I do ours, and we all have fun. We can all hang out together, and have the best times, too. The lives of every one of “my people”, have grown and changed in the most beautiful ways. This last year has brought an unbelievable amount of blessings to me, and to all the people I love. My sister got married, and had a beautiful baby girl. My dad met the sweetest woman, who we all love as family now. Everyone is healthy, and happy, and we’ve all had some wonderful things come to us. I’m taking a moment to celebrate how amazing that is. How lucky I am. How thankful I am. I honestly have never felt this deep sense of peace, like I do lately. God is so good. ❤️

“I’m in a hurry to get things done. Oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun. All I really gotta do is live and die, but I’m in a hurry and don’t know why…”

~Alabama

It was only supposed to be low 70s, today. It’s 80 degrees outside, right now. It started off cloudy and rainy, but the sun came out, around 10:00am. It’s windy, but it’s a warm wind. I’m loving it!

I had to grab a few things from the store, this morning. I’ve got a couple loads of laundry done, wiped down all the kitchen counters. I cleaned out the sink, the stove and oven, and wiped down the fronts of all the appliances. I swept, vacuumed, and mopped. Now, I’m taking a break. Decided to come sit on the deck, and enjoy the warm sunshine.

I’m making meatball sub sandwiches, for supper. I have some frozen Italian meatballs, ready to go. All I have to do is heat them up. I cook them in the pasta sauce, on the stove. We put the meatballs and some sauce inside sub rolls, and top with mozzarella cheese. I’m going to make onion rings, to go with.

Most every morning, I send Adam a picture of Oliver passed out, in our bed. He sleeps in his kennel, at night, but he always goes for a nap on our bed, after the kids leave for school.

I suppose I’ll go back inside, and get back to work. I want to make some muffins, for the kids. They like to eat them, for breakfast. This way, I’ll have some ready for them to eat, tomorrow morning. They’ll be getting home, in about an hour. I frosted some graham crackers, with cream cheese frosting in the middle, for them to have for snack. I need to get more fruit. I sometimes make this fruit dip. It’s just one part marshmallow fluff to one part cream cheese. Mix together well, and you can dip grapes, apples, pineapple chunks, strawberries…anything you like. It’s delicious!

Whether we’re having a guitar night at Poppy’s, going out driving around, looking for dirt roads to explore, playing cornhole or ping pong, or just standing around in my kitchen, we always laugh and have a great time. I think that’s an amazing thing, to have people who I can be silly and share laughter with. I’m just thinking about how blessed I am. I love “my people” so much.

We’ve had another awesome weekend. We’re already making plans for a ping pong night, next weekend. Tomorrow, it’s back to the “grind”. I’m feeling so happy, though. I’m so grateful for these people around me, my family, and friends who are family.

I haven’t had a bad day, for a good while. I haven’t been in trouble, with Adam, in a good while. I know it makes my writing a little less intense, but I’m loving it. We share much more joy than sadness, in our home. There’s way more sweet, than sour. I haven’t felt this “light”, in a very long time. Sharing the silly, the fun, the good here, rather than just the hard stuff, has really helped me to recognize how many more good days I have, than bad.

Well, we ended up going to the pink elephant, last night. It was a lot of fun, though! We also drove backroads around the “Bell Witch” caves. We didn’t stay out as long as the last time. We were in bed by midnight.

Adam and Justin had a great time, too! We were jamming to songs from the 50’s, 80’s, 90’s, and 2000’s.

The weather is cloudy, again. It’s low 60s, but I miss the sunshine. I’m making chili dogs tonight, for supper. Adam’s going to grill some hotdogs and brats. I have chili, nacho cheese, and jalapeños we can pile on top of them.

I’m sitting in the kitchen, with Jackie. We’ve been looking through pictures and videos. We’ve had so many fun times, just since January! It’s fun to look back at all the memories we’ve made. Justin fits right into our crazy, too. It’s awesome.

I was listening to a podcast. They were suggesting that sexual assault, for women, is a very rare thing. Some of the panel even went so far as to state that many women are lying, when they talk about this having happened to them. I do recognize that some women have lied. *cough*….Amber Heard. That’s so wrong, on every level, and should be punished. I know, for a fact, that the women in my life are not lying about what’s happened to them. I will never believe that all, or most men, are out here harming women. I do have to say, I don’t know many women, in my life, who haven’t been abused. Physically, sexually, or both. I am not one of the new generation of, so called, feminists, who believe all men are evil. I do know a whole lot of women who’ve been assaulted, though.

I don’t subscribe to the “believe all women” notion. I recognize that we live in a society where we should be presumed innocent until proven guilty. That never negates the fact that way too many women have been assaulted.

I don’t think women should lay hands on a man, either. I absolutely believe a man should be able to defend himself. Most men are bigger and stronger. Most men are raised to never hit a woman. If a woman is hurting a man, he has every right to use necessary force, to get away from her.

We need to shame men and women, who abuse. We can recognize that these things do happen, much too often, without saying all men, or all women. Most men and women are not abusive. Some are. It happens. Most of us would never lie about something as serious and devastating as sexual assault. For me, it’s almost embarrassing. I continue to look back, and wonder how I could have done things differently, so that hadn’t happened. There’s nothing wrong with teaching boys to respect women. I also believe it’s our responsibility to teach our girls to be wise and be cautious. That doesn’t mean that wearing a low cut shirt is inviting men to assault you. I only mean that, we have to be aware of our surroundings. We have to be prepared, and on “guard”, because as unfortunate as it is, evil still exists in our world, and it ain’t ever going to go away. I learned, the hard way, you never accept an open drink from someone you’re out with. I cannot blindly trust that people are good. I have a lot of faith in humanity, but I will not let my guard down unless I’m with my husband, my father, my brother, or a sober Jackie and my sister. Those are pretty much the only people I would ever accept an open drink from. I have already spoken to my kids, multiple times, about the importance of this. I’m doing my best to train them in the realities of life. If I could wave a magic wand, and make the world a completely safe place for them, I would. But, I can’t. So, I realize how important it is for me to teach them about the best ways they can protect themselves. You can do everything right, and still get taken advantage of. It happens. But, prevention is our first line of defense. I love my son. I never want him to be in a situation where he could possibly be accused of something he didn’t do. I love my daughter. I never want her to be in a situation where someone does something she doesn’t want them to. It goes both ways. Discussing these things does not mean that I think one sex is right, and the other is wrong. I simply do not ever want another person I love to get hurt.

My sister, Jackie, our dad, his girlfriend, and I all have iPhones. We always share our locations with each other. Sometimes, we play around with that. We can always see when Poppy is spending the night at his girlfriends, or when he’s at home. When one of us is making a trip somewhere, or heading to each other’s house, we can follow along. Last night, Jackie, my sister, and I were checking on everybody’s locations. I think it’s crazy how it can even show WHERE, in the house, we each are! I hadn’t ever realized that, until Jackie had me switch to the 3D map. Poppy was at his girlfriend’s place. We text them a screenshot and teased them about which room it was they were in? 😆

Baby Pj started a medication for her hemangioma, a few weeks ago. They were gradually increasing her dosage. A couple days ago, she was increased to the maximum dose that they were wanting her on. It can cause hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), so my sister is to feed her within half an hour after she is given this medicine. Pj was refusing to eat, for the entire 6 hours they were here. She was irritable, and sleepy. Normally, that wouldn’t be a huge worry, but because of this medicine, it was concerning. She took Pj home, and called their doctor. Fortunately, she did finally decide to start eating again, later that night. She’s a little congested, today. We’re wondering if she might not be getting a little cold? My sister’s such a good little mama! She is always asking me for advice, but she does an amazing job looking after her baby. I’m so proud of her!

We’re going to grill those steaks for supper, tonight. Jackie really wants to go out driving, later on. There’s this little town, not far from us. They have this giant pink elephant statue, and another giant black and white cow one, wearing pink glasses. She wants to show Justin. I’m not sure if we’ll end up going, or not? I’d kind of prefer to stay home. Maybe play some ping pong or card games. I guess we’ll see how the evening plays out.

I’ve been on my period, the last several days. I think it’s finally done, now. I miss my husband! I’d really like to get laid, later on! Whatever we end up doing tonight, I know that’s my plan for the end of it.

It’s been a pretty lazy day. The weather is cool, only mid 50s, and cloudy. I swear, the weather seriously messes with my energy levels! Give me a warm, sunny day, and I’m ready to take on the world. When it’s cold and dreary, I just want to snuggle under some blankets. It would be nice to do something fun, with Justin and Jackie, though.

It’s almost 4:00pm. I suppose I should fix my face, and get the scalloped potatoes going. I’ve got the pasta salad ready. We love to grill things. Adam doesn’t cook much of anything, but he’s awesome with his charcoal grill. Everything he makes is delicious. He always knows just how I like things, too. Which seasonings I prefer. How done I like my meat, (well done). It’s funny, when we first met, he didn’t eat anything spicy. After being introduced to several spicy dishes, being with me, he has now come to enjoy much hotter spices than even I do! He adds jalapeños to almost everything. Adam is down 11 pounds now! He’s been working hard to get that extra weight off. I have consistently remained between 96-98 pounds, which is 6-8 pounds more than I was last Fall. On my body, even a few pounds makes a big difference. My boobs are bigger. My jeans fit tighter. I don’t particularly mind it, but I’m not sure I’d like to put on anymore weight, now. My grandma, on my mother’s side, was a very very heavy set woman. I loved her so much, but there were so many things she couldn’t do, because of her obesity. I have such a fear of not being able to do things I once could. I still do the handsprings, one handed cartwheels, and headstands that I used to do, back when I was a cheerleader. I make sure I can still do random things, like that, because I don’t want to “lose” it. I want to run and play, with my kids. One day, with my grandkids. I want to be healthy. I’m terrified of living in pain, or addiction, so I work hard to make sure that doesn’t happen. I do not want to become my mother, or her mother. Even my grandma became addicted to pain medication. I try to be responsible, and careful. We drink a beer or two, when we’re hanging out. I never drink when im upset, though. I rarely drink too much. I don’t even like to be drunk, and I absolutely never take drugs of any kind. I don’t even like weed. I am going to do everything I can, to make sure that I don’t fail my family, or myself. We only get this one life to live. I am determined to live it up, healthy, happy, and to make my family proud.

To make the white gravy, you only need butter, flour, and milk.

Melt about half stick of butter in a saucepan, over medium heat. Add about 1/4 cup flour, slowly. Stir constantly, using a whisk, until bubbly. Mix in milk, slowly. Adding about 1/2 cup at a time, to total about 2 cups of milk, and stir well.

I use 6 packages of Buddig brand corned beef. I just slice it into pieces and add it to the gravy.

Once everything’s been heated and mixed, remove from heat. Gravy will thicken as it cools.

I bake some biscuits in the oven and make mashed potatoes. If you don’t have biscuits, take a slice of bread, and split it in half, instead. Split the biscuits in half, put a scoop of gravy in the middle (or on top of them, whichever you prefer), and top with the corned beef gravy. There’s another name for this, we had growing up…”Shit on a Shingle”. No clue where that comes from, but that is another name for this meal 😉

It’s very very filling! My family all enjoy it, though.