1 pound ground beef or turkey

1 1/2 cups ketchup

1 tablespoon worstershire sauce

2 tablespoons brown sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

Brown ground beef/turkey. Stir in remaining ingredients. Cook over medium low heat, stirring occasionally for 10-30 minutes.

(I double, even triple this recipe for my family). I got this recipe from the baseball field’s concession stand, where my brother played baseball, years ago. I loved their “sloppy nachos”. I got in touch with one of the ladies I volunteered in the concession stand with, who gave me their “secret recipe”. When we do “sloppy nachos”, I take tortilla chips, pile on the sloppy joe meat, and top with nacho cheese. Not exactly a “health conscious” meal, but it’s delicious, and my family love it!

It wasn’t the weekend I’d expected. Friday afternoon, our son had a wrestling competition. He got hurt. There was concern he might have broken a rib, at one point. They determined that he was fine, just had gotten the wind knocked out of him. Then, his last match, he hurt his elbow. This time, he wasn’t as lucky. His elbow swelled way up. It was bruised all the way around. Thankfully, nothing is broken, but I insisted that he could not wrestle until his elbow has healed. Our son wasn’t very happy about this. He was crying, so I tried to explain that it’s because I love him, and I don’t want him to hurt himself even worse, if he wrestles again before he’s healed. Adam felt that I was over exaggerating, and argued that “boys get hurt playing sports”. Because this disagreement occurred, right in front of our son, I was really pissed off. It wasn’t even about the issue of whether or not he should wrestle again yet. It was because Adam chose to argue with me, right in front of our son. I felt like it made it seem as if I was just being mean to my son. I would never do or say anything to him out of anything other than love for him! If Adam disagreed, he should’ve done that privately. That’s how I feel, anyway. All of this created a lot of tension and turmoil, all weekend. I gave Adam the “silent treatment”. Our son gave ME the “silent treatment”. It was a mess.

Adam and I were finally able to have a healthy conversation, on Saturday night. He told me his thoughts, I told him mine. In the end, he apologized for doing that in front of our son. He understood why that bothered me so much. I told him that I wouldn’t have been so upset, had he had this discussion with me privately. In the end, we agreed, he should give his elbow time to heal. He could go to the practices as long as he wasn’t participating, until his elbow is better. His darned elbow is still very bruised and swollen. I don’t believe I was wrong! It doesn’t matter now, because we came to an agreement. I was just very angry and hurt that our son had to witness us argue about this. That shouldn’t happen. Him seeing his dad take his side, while I was arguing the other side, made it look like I was being mean to him. That broke my heart. Adam did have a conversation with our son. He told him that his mama loves him and only wants to protect him. That helped, because our son came downstairs and gave me a big hug. Everything was fine by last night.

The kids got this new game, for Christmas, called “The Chameleon”. We played that, yesterday evening. It was a lot of fun! Adam and I have “made up”, too. Bless his heart, he’s having a tough day at work, today. He is always in the top 3 people grossing the company money, every month. The office he’s in doesn’t want to see him go. He will still be with the same company, just a different location, but this branch is struggling with his decision to move. Some of the other guys are starting to panic, now that word has gotten out about his transferring. Adam is feeling both guilty, and ticked off. Guilty for leaving, and angry because some of the guys are so upset, they’re treating him crappy now. His transfer won’t happen for another week or two. In the meantime, these guys need to respect Adam and continue to get the job done. It’s a bit of a mess. I’m sorry for Adam, that some of the guys he considered friends, are so unsupportive. I can’t wait until he’s working closer to home.

I was on my period until Friday evening. That’s the same evening our son got injured. It wasn’t until last night, before Adam and I had our “make up sex”. So, it had been an entire WEEK! Why is that sooo good?! Oh my goshhh. I hate to fight, but I love making up!

I’m fixing my “famous” sloppy joes for supper, tonight. We make sloppy joes and sloppy nachos. My recipe is the best sloppy joe meat ever! (If I do say so, myself 😉) I baked some chocolate chip cookies, this afternoon. This morning, I went with my sister to a local coffee place. We sat inside and drank our coffees, while we chatted for awhile. Pj was with us, too, of course.

Last night, when Adam got home, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. Then he gave my behind a slap, and spun around in circles, while we both giggled. Not only will he be transferring to the office close to our house, he’ll also be making a significant amount more. I’m sooo happy that it worked out!

We were supposed to be spending this weekend with Adam’s family, but they’ve got influenza now. My poor mother in law sounds miserable. Adam had already taken today off from work, and since our plans didn’t work out, he checked off some of his “honey do” list. He got a lot of things done today that he’s been meaning to. I’m not sure what we’ll do this weekend? Tonight, he’s going to grill us some ham steaks. I’m making “funeral potatoes”, and my lemon and pepper green beans. My family love my green beans! I just boil fresh green beans, add a bunch of butter and sprinkle lemon and pepper seasoning over them. You can add some chopped onion in with the boiling green beans too. Lots of people like to also add bacon, but I’m a weirdo. I don’t like bacon mixed into my food. I will eat plain bacon strips, even BLT’s, but I think bacon overtakes the flavor of most all the things it’s added to, and I don’t prefer it.

Jackie and I hung out in my kitchen, last night. She showed me her last blog post, and that sparked a whole conversation. It was good. I think we both felt a little bit “lighter” because of it. We were teasing and laughing about “666 men”. Adam heard this, and asked what a “666 man” is? I explained, 6 figure income, 6 feet tall, and 6 inch….ya know. Adam laughed and told me, “oh honey, it’s more like 6-6-9, let’s be honest.” I was laughing so hard! He isn’t usually that quick witted. He was in a real good mood. It makes me happy to see him a little “lighter”, too.

My son is growing so fast, right now! I bought him new jeans, like a couple months ago, and he’s outgrown them. I got him a bunch of new jeans today, again. He’s officially bigger than me now. He weighs a few pounds more, and stands an inch taller. It’s the strangest thing to have my kid be taller, bigger, and stronger than I am. It’s a lot of fun seeing my babies growing into their own unique people. I’m so very proud to be their mama.

We bought plane tickets, this week, for a couple of our family members to come down here. They’ll be here this coming weekend. It was a last minute thing, but Adam was all for it. I know I’ve mentioned this before, I’m a saver. I budget and I put away as much money as I can. I had enough money left in our main account, after the plane tickets were purchased, to cover anything we might need. Tomorrow is payday. This morning, I saw that the stinking check I’d written weeks ago, was finally cashed. It was a larger amount than I’d left in the main account. It wasn’t a huge deal, because I could just transfer money over from another account, but I told Adam about it anyway. We didn’t get charged for it or anything. Our bank knows we’ve got other linked accounts, and as long as I covered it today, it was fine. So, that’s exactly what I did. Adam wasn’t angry with me. He was giving me hell about it, but not grumpy. He insisted that was going to be a spanking, though.

Adam is in a meeting, as I’m writing this. It’s a good one. Good things are coming out of it. Basically, Adam is the head of his department, in the area he’s currently in. He was offered the same position, for the same company, closer to our house, for more money. The office he’s at doesn’t want to lose him. So, he’s in a bidding war between the locations. I’m really hoping he will take the position close to our house! It would only be a 10-15 minute drive, versus nearly an hour drive, everyday. He’s negotiating right now, though.

Jackie came upstairs and gave me a big hug, yesterday evening. She was so sweet. She told me she is here, and I could talk to her about anything. Just a hug from my best friend, and an hour goofing around in my kitchen with her, has really helped my spirit! Today has been much easier than the one before. ❤️

Adam was very sweet to me last night, too. I didn’t even tell him that I was having a hard day. I guess he just knew it. I had a moment, when I was about to crack under some pressure, but I walked into our bedroom to calm down. I don’t want to talk about what it was, specifically, but it hurt my heart, a lot. I didn’t get angry. I didn’t lose my cool. Adam walked in and wrapped his arms around me. He held me while I cried for a few minutes. He assured me that he won’t ever let anyone hurt his family. That “release” saved me. I needed it.

I’m just pacing my house, anxiously waiting to hear about the results of Adam’s meeting. I’m going to get the enchiladas I’m making, for supper, started. I’ll update tomorrow!

I sent my last blog post to Adam, the other day. After I’d sent it to him, it dawned on me, I hadn’t even told him about the recent things my mother’s done to try to get to us. By get to us, I mean cause us pain and misery. Sneaking her way into our lives, through other people we care about. Using these people to create chaos, and disrupt our happiness. I wouldn’t let it get to me, though. I was so successful in my refusal to acknowledge her attempts, I completely forgot to mention it to Adam. Maybe I didn’t exactly forget, but I wasn’t using a moment of our time together, through the holidays, to waste my breath discussing my mother’s latest bullshit.

I feel like the “high” I had over the holidays, is beginning to wear off. All of the planning and excitement is over. It’s time to start putting the Christmas decorations away, until next year. The kids will be starting back to school. Real life is resuming.

I know myself pretty damn well. Because of this, I am getting scared of the possibility that a day will soon come, when I’ll have reached my capacity for other people’s bullshit. Historically, when that day came, I would reach said limit when someone I deeply love does or says something that would’ve slid right past me, otherwise. Nuclear meltdown begins, and my overwhelming wrath gets spilled out onto whoever happens to be in my path. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to “explode”. I can feel my patience thinning, though. I sense myself drawing nearer to my boiling point, and I’m not quite sure how to release the pressure that’s building.

I suppose I just need to put down my “armor” and expose myself to the people I trust right now. I should talk about it. That seems like such a simple solution, but it just isn’t that easy! When? When is a good time to tell Adam or Jackie I’m struggling. I always try so hard to be strong and to be that safe place for my people to come to. I can tell that Jackie isn’t herself right now. Adam’s got crap at work. So, when? How? I have held onto this happy face I’m wearing, so wouldn’t it be such a shock to look at Adam or Jackie and tell them, I’m not as okay as I look or sound or act? I’m truly great, most always. My issue is that I let things “simmer” for too long. I push my own troubles down as far as I can, but they resurface. I run out of energy to continue pushing down the same things. It really is exhausting!

I don’t want to hurt my people. I have to be mature enough to handle my emotions in ways that don’t end up with me losing my shit on someone I love. Maybe this is my New Year’s resolution. Yep. I’m going to work on that.

We had such a great weekend! Our friends stayed here. Mj’s best friend was here until this afternoon, when I took her back home.

Adam’s been teasing me the last couple of days. He’ll come by and tell me I need a spanking, and then slap my ass a time or two. It doesn’t hurt. He isn’t really serious. Just playing around. I told him, I think he’s getting withdrawals because I’ve been so good! I have really tried hard to lean into all of the happy, the last few weeks. I want to make awesome memories with my people. I want to soak in all of the moments. I think this mindset has also helped me to stay honest and respectful, to Adam. It’s kept me grounded in the things and people who matter most to me. I haven’t had a bad attitude. I’ve embraced the good, and I’ve refused to allow any of the hard stuff “in”. I’m very stubborn. I don’t like to let people hurt me. I get angry with myself, when I have given someone that power. Someone who’s desire was to do exactly what they’ve done…hurt me. The real of it is, my mother has been creating some chaos, recently. I’ve just refused to acknowledge it. Not right now, anyway. I’m realizing that, I act out when I’m feeling overwhelmed, or insecure. Those times when I’m doubting myself, or the people who love me, that’s when I find myself almost “rebellious”. Like, I’m pushing back against my husband, because I need to know that he’s still here for me. I love him so much, and yet I will build walls, just to make sure he’ll crash through them, so he can get back to me. I don’t necessarily do this with conscious intent. It seems to be a pattern I’ve picked up on, though.

For now, today, I’m feeling good. I’m content. What a wonderful way to begin 2023!