I’m a wife and mom trying my best to live out my marriage in submission to my husband. I’m NOT a silent doormat, I’m sassy and I’m a 615 (Nashville) girl. I love to write and this blog thing is really therapeutic for me. I love “my people” fiercely. This is my story.
You need 4-6 potatoes. I prefer the Yukon gold ones, for potato salad. Russet works also, though.
About 1 cup of mayonnaise
About 1 Tbs yellow mustard
Sweet pickle relish. It HAS to be the sweet relish. I put in 3-4 Tbs.
4 hard boiled eggs (chopped)
About 1/2 cup finely chopped celery
1-2 teaspoons of sugar
Paprika
Peel, dice, and boil potatoes, until tender. About 20 minutes. Drain. Mix in mayo, mustard, sweet relish, eggs, sugar, and celery. Sprinkle with paprika. Refrigerate. That’s it!
Also, looks like plans have already changed. Justin and Jackie are heading over here. We’re going to hang out for awhile, tonight. 😊
This song came on, and I always think of my babies, when I hear it! It was their last day of school, a couple years ago. They’d had a “field day”, where they played outdoor games, water balloon fights, just a fun last day before summer break. I always come to play and watch, with them. When we left, my soaking wet kiddos sat in the back of the car, wrapped in a “Paw Patrol” beach towel, and a sports themed one. We were jamming out to music, and they were just so happy. I can still see and hear them singing their hearts out, “Slam bam I’m feelin’ alright. Troubles take a hike in the blink of an eye. No need to psycho analyze or have a stiff drink. All she’s gotta do is just gimmie that wink.” My son’s favorite song, is Morgan Wallen, “Sand in my Boots”. Mj’s is “My Truck”, or anything by Jason Aldean. Still, every time we hear “Wink”, we all have to sing it together, and remember that magical day.
We’re already fixing to end the kids’ school year. Only one more month of school left, before it’s summer break, again. I absolutely love spending summers with my babies. Still, I can’t be wishing time away. There’s so precious few summers we get with our kids. If I measure our time into summers, it’s just not long enough. I really do hope that they will hear the song “Wink”, and always think back to the same day that I do. I know I will never forget. I just love those beautiful babies so damn much!
It’s been a rainy, cool day. Only mid 60’s outside, but it’s still 78 inside, and humid as I’ll get out. I’m just making fried chicken sandwiches for supper, tonight. I’ve got some French fries, to go with. It’s just going to be Adam, the kids, and I hanging out, tonight. I think we’re going to play a family card game, with the kids. Stay home and have a quiet evening. Tomorrow, we’re planning to hang outside here, with Justin and Jackie. It’s supposed to be sunny, and around 70 degrees. We’re hoping to play some cornhole games, and maybe a card game or two, later on.
I’ve got some potatoes that I need to use up. I think I’m going to make potato salad. Maybe we can have it with whatever we decide to make for supper, tomorrow. I’ll share how I make my potato salad in a separate post. Pretty sure I haven’t done that, yet?
I sure don’t have much else to write about, today. It’s been a fairly mundane kind of day here! I got excited, when Adam noticed how tan my legs were looking, last night. I’m sooo ready for it to be summer! We’re definitely getting summer humidity back. I don’t mind it. I love everything about summertime. Swimming pools. Tanned legs. Nights out back. Lots of barbecuing. Spending everyday with my babies, and finding fun with them. It’s all my favorite. Christmas is my most favorite holiday, but July 4 (Independence Day) is a very close second. We’ve already talked about what we’re planning to do, this July.
A couple of pretty flowers Is what I brought to you I saw you through a broken window With a different point of view
You had signs of depression From a long line of sin And your face tells a story Bout the places you have been I loved you so I thought you should know
And you feed your addiction With your crystal meth And I plead for your life As it takes you to your death
You make your deal with the devil As your looks begin to fade I saw you laughin through the tears As you slowly slipped away I watched you go I thought you should know Yeah I watched you go I thought you should know
A couple of pretty flowers is what I brought to you I saw you through a broken window With a different point of view…
~Whiskey Myers
Sometimes, the lyrics in a good song do a better job of saying what I’m feeling, than I could. Besides my mother, I’ve watched as several old friends lost everything to addiction. I have also seen more than one friend beat their addiction. You can’t begin to heal your addiction, until you acknowledge it, though. This is why I’m confident my mother won’t. While I wish that could be her story, one that I might even be able to write in again, I very much doubt it. Unfortunately, she’s just too far gone. This is why I’ve wished she’d died, instead of “lived” like this. I can’t put into words how difficult it is to lose a parent. To lose them, but they’re still here. To “lose” her, because she left me. I mean, maybe she never really was with me, anyway? I had such high hopes for us, though. Naive? Ignorant? Selfish? Maybe. But, I had so hoped we’d have a healthy relationship after she’d straightened up, years ago. She never apologized for my childhood. I forgave her, anyway. I did it, because she’d begun to show up for me. I truly believed I mattered, for awhile. I long for that feeling. Being assured that I’m loved. I’m enough. That she might even think I’m great. To know that my mom is proud of me.
If she ever did care, she definitely doesn’t anymore. I’m not sure I can do a good job explaining this, but I’m going to try. While she was here, in my city, I’d worried that she’d try to come to my house. I’d spent those days on edge. Once she was gone, back to where she lives now, I didn’t feel relief. Instead of taking that deep breath, celebrating that stress coming to an end, I felt sad. It hurt me. As much as I didn’t want to have my psychotic, screwed up mother show up at my door, I was deflated when she didn’t. She didn’t even try. She didn’t want to see me. I don’t know how many times I have to be told, I don’t give a shit about you, until I’ll be able to accept that she doesn’t. Logically, I get it. There’s still this little girl inside me, who’s pleading for her mama to want her. I simply cannot rationalize how a mother could do this to her child. I would fight until my last breath, for my babies. I wish I had a mama willing to fight for me…
Thankfully, what I do have, is some amazing people who are here for me. While it’s impossible to replace the missing piece my mother has taken, my life is very full. I’m blessed with a whole lot of love and support. We had a great evening, with Justin and Jackie. We sat out on the deck, enjoying the beautiful weather, and a couple drinks. Adam was running a little late, so I’d offered to go ahead and start the bacon, for our BLT’s. This was his response,
He cooked the bacon, when he got home, and our supper was delicious. Justin and Jackie left around 9:00pm, and then Adam and I went to take our shower. I was in a silly mood. I’m also PMS’ing. I can get a little bitchy, quickly. I didn’t intend to be quite so difficult, but I kinda was. I challenged him on literally everything he said to me. I did this gesture, where you take your thumb to your mouth and flick upward. “I bite my thumb at you” kind of thing. Adam didn’t know what that meant, so I started laughing. This is the point where he had had enough. I could see it immediately. He knew I’d done something offensive, but not exactly what. He wanted me to explain, but I didn’t particularly want to do that, at this point. He was getting angry with me, so I told him. It’s pretty much a different way to flip someone off. I also mentioned that I wished I hadn’t shown him, or told him what it means, so that I could’ve used that the next time he annoys me. I was a little bit arrogant, in the way I talked to him. He noticed. He informed me I’d crossed the line, and he’d had enough. Even then, I wasn’t exactly willing to humble myself, yet. The stubborn in me was taking over. I’d started out only intending to make Adam laugh. Instead, I’d insulted and disrespected him. I know I recognized this, but I wasn’t ready to admit it. I pushed back pretty hard, continuing to allow every single thought I had escape my lips. Adam got very quiet.
When we got out of the shower, Adam handed me the towel I wrap around my hair, and then wrapped a big towel around my body, like he always does. I continued to have an attitude, while we dried off and got our night clothes on. Albeit, a much less intensely disrespectful one. He gave me his sideways grin, and told me I’d find out what he thought in a little bit. He said I wasn’t going to sleep very comfortably, tonight (last night). I glared at him, and told him I had much more fun plans for him. I said I wouldn’t be in any mood for it (sex), if he busted my butt. He said it was a sacrifice he was willing to make, for the greater good. Then, he walked over to me, and spanked me hard and fast, at least 10-15 times. I dropped to the floor, after he released me. I looked up at him and asked him, “Are you done now?!” He walked toward me, with his hand held out for me to grab hold of, so he could help me up from the floor. As he pulled me upright, he told me, “Not even close.” This was when I knew, for certain, he was serious.
We tucked the kids into their beds, and brushed our teeth. I took my sweet time applying lotion to my arms and legs. I put all my face products on. I walked over to my nightstand, by the bed, and put on my lip mask moisturizer that I use every night. Adam was laying in bed. I climbed in, next to him. He put his arm under me, and pulled me closer to him. I thought, for a second, maybe he won’t spank me anymore tonight, now? That thought was barely finished, when he interrupted, asking if I was ready. I gave him a pitiful look, as to silently try and prevent what was coming. In one quick motion, he had flipped me onto my belly. He pulled the t-shirt I was wearing up, my panties down, and spanked me as hard and fast as he had done earlier. I tried to wiggle away, but he had me pinned down good, this time. Just as I was about to cry out, he stopped. I was so relieved it was over, or so I thought. He lectured me, in his stern “dad” voice. That’s what the kids call it, when he’s stern like that. I didn’t hesitate to give him the responses he was looking for, after each question asked. I hoped maybe he would let me up, if I stopped trying to challenge him. It didn’t work. He gave me another painful round of smacks on my backside. This one was even worse than the others had been. I cried, “owwwwwieee”. I know that’s a super childish thing to say, but it’s what often comes flying from my mouth, when something really hurts. That, and “golly”, when I’m frustrated, but don’t want to curse. Finally, Adam released me from his grip. He laid back down. I rolled over and sunk my head into his chest. He wrapped his arm around me, once more, and we went to sleep. Indeed, I did sleep fitfully. Lots of tossing and turning, through last night. At one point, my sleep was interrupted, when Adam patted my butt. It was just one “love tap”, but I immediately cried “OWIEE”. That light little smack actually did hurt, too. Woke me right up from my sleep. He let out a quiet giggle. I refused to say anything more. He just pulled me closer to him, and we went back to sleep.
I need to apologize for my behavior, last night. I need to let him know I am sorry. The dawn of a new day, often shines a different perspective on a situation. I’m clearly seeing how crappy I was treating him, in the shower. I was a bratty, mouthy, cocky wife. Not my best moment. Definitely not how I want to be toward my husband. Submitting isn’t always natural and easy. Sometimes, it’s hard. Even when it’s something I want to do, the temptation to buck against it remains an issue for me, every so often.
I like the way you keep it simple Light shining in through the window Waking me up
Hey, let’s go, walking on the sidewalk I’ll listen to you talk, whenever you want
You are my person, You are the light of a thousand suns You are everything I ever wanted You are the one that I love
~Kyle Andrews
Yesterday ended up being crazy busy. I decided to seriously deep clean Adam and my bathroom. I scrubbed every tile, and the grout in between them. I cleaned the jets in our bathtub. I washed walls, and all the baseboards. I cleaned the cabinets, counter, and sinks. I wiped the mirror clean. I cleaned every surface of that bathroom. It wound up taking me two hours. Just as I was finishing up, Jackie, my sister, and baby Pj walked in. They decided to pop over. I talked to them, and played with Pj. After they left, I washed all the main floor windows. Then, the kids got home from school. I’d promised my daughter I’d take her up to a store near us, so we went there. When we got back home, it was time for me to start supper. After supper, Adam and I sat out on our deck. I watered all my flowers, we took a shower, and went to bed.
Today’s a little less hectic. I picked up some groceries, cleaned the kitchen, put away some laundry. It’s kind of stuffy, today. It says it’s only 84 degrees out, but it’s humid. My favorite thing to wear, when it’s hot, is a sundress. I just got some new ones, too. I’d mentioned how I wanted more of them, to Adam. He told me to go get some. He didn’t have to tell me twice!
We’re having BLT’s tonight, for supper. I do love to cook, but bacon is always Adam’s thing. I hate cooking bacon. Adam doesn’t mind. So, that’s become his job, when we need some bacon cooked. Jackie and Justin are planning to come by, later this evening. They’d asked if we wanted to sit out, if they stopped by, last night. It was already getting late though, and Adam and I were both tired. We asked if we could reschedule that for tonight, instead.
We literally always have fun! I love these people so much!
If you’ve ever seen that TV show, “Roseanne”, you’ll know who “Jackie” was. We’ve called my Jackie “Jackie”, for years, because of that show. Although it’s not her real name, it’s used a lot. I get so much joy in seeing my best friend happy. Justin has been such a blessing. We love him like family now, too. He’s one of “my people”. I’m ready for it to be the weekend again, so we can find some new shenanigans together!
You can get it right. Run up, catch hell, take this L. You can get it right.
~Adam Calhoun
Saturday evening, Jackie and Justin came over. We spent the evening out back, playing cornhole, and being silly. Jackie had started to feel lightheaded, and like her heart was racing. It was, too. Her Apple Watch alerted to it. After they left, Jackie passed out. Justin brought her straight to the ER. Jackie has a lot of allergies, and asthma issues. Covid seriously messed up her lungs. They didn’t do much, at the ER, except to get her set up with a specialist. I hate it, that she has to fight so many health issues.
We weren’t sure if they’d still want us to come there, Sunday afternoon. Jackie said she felt much better, so we went. Justin smoked ribs, a chicken, and brats. It was very yummy! I think he’s enjoying making different foods on his smoker, and sharing with everyone. 😊
The kids had a fun weekend, too! Wyatt got to stay over at a friends house. Mj had her best friend, T, stay overnight here. Everybody was ready for bed early, last night!
I shared my blog post, from Friday, with Adam. That’s been helpful, for both of us, that I can write out things, and then let him read my thoughts. Last night, as we were brushing our teeth, Adam said I’d rolled my eyes at him. I honestly didn’t think I had! I told him so. Then, he said he’d seen it, and I knew what was gonna happen. That’s when I did start to roll my eyes, in annoyance. I stopped myself, mid way. I’d caught myself. He caught me, too. I still don’t know if I really did roll my eyes at him, that first time he says I did? It’s not that easy, to control facial expressions that I’ve been making for most of my life. After we left our bathroom, and began to get ready for bed, Adam came around to my side of the bed. I absolutely was not trying to find trouble, last night, but I guess I did anyway. He picked me up, laid me on the bed, held his hand on my back, and spanked me pretty damn hard. I suppose my blog post I’d shared with him, is the reason he decided to be certain to let me know, he “meant it”. Pretty sure I got that message. Since he doesn’t want me to flip him off, even in silliness, I’ve been trying new things. I’d shaped my fingers into a “W”, to signal “whatever”, the other day. He didn’t much care for that either, though. He didn’t spank me, but he issued a warning. One thing I have done, that doesn’t bother him, is sign “I love you”, with my hand. I’ve done that a few times, recently, even when I found him annoying.
Today, I’m feeling pretty good. I washed all our bedding, and hung it out to dry. I cleaned the kitchen. I bought this stuff called “barkeepers friend”. I cleaned all our stainless steel appliances, with it. It works magic! The reviews are no joke! It cleaned my glass stovetop and sinks really well, too! I vacuumed and swept all the floors. I’m fixing to mop. Decided to take a little break, and write here.
Adam is grilling pork chops for us, this evening. I’d text and asked if he’d be home in time, or should I just put them in the oven? He said “I got it”. So, we’re getting grilled pork chops. 😋 I’m going to be making scalloped potatoes, and cutting up some fruit. I’ve got pineapple, cantaloupe, strawberries, and watermelon. I should bake some cookies, for Adam and the kids. They haven’t had those, for awhile. The kids love when they get home from school, and smell fresh baked treats. I want them to always remember those kind of days, when they were kids, coming home to their mama having baked them something yummy. Maybe they’ll think of me, when they’re enjoying those same smells, one day, after they’re grown.
We’ve been SO busy! Last night, Justin and Jackie hung out with us. We played some cornhole. Jackie and I won most all the games, of course. Then, we came inside and played some new games they’d brought. It was a lot of silly, and loads of fun!
The card I drew said everyone at the table had to drink from one of my body parts. The boys got my hands…I had JUST washed my hands. Justin teased, if they didn’t smell like lavender something, he’d be pissed. I told him, they DO! Jackie insisted on a “belly shot” 😆
Adam and I got up, and he took Oliver for a run. Then, we took showers, and got ready to head into Nashville. Our friend was having an egg hunt, for all the kids. He used to live behind us, before we moved. Mj’s best friend (T), is his daughter. Wyatt is staying the night, in our old neighborhood, with a friend of his. We brought T home with us. We just got home. Now, Adam is lighting the grill. We’re fixing to have Justin and Jackie over and BBQ. I’m hoping to play cornhole again. The weather is iffy. It was 86 degrees all afternoon, but a storm looks to be rolling in. If we can’t be outside, I’m sure we’ll find fun inside.
That’s about all the excitement I have to write about, for today!
I was listening to a podcast, this morning. A husband and wife discuss their relationship, and their own take on discipline within their marriage. It really struck me, hearing them talk about “maintenance spankings”. For me, I’ve always kind of felt it would be cruel if Adam seriously spanked me, and I’d crossed no boundaries to deserve it. I thought it would devastate me, if I’d done nothing wrong, but he punished me as if I had. Wouldn’t that defeat the whole purpose? As I continued to listen to this couple, I heard some explanations I hadn’t truly considered before. The wife talked about how, when she hadn’t broken any rules in awhile, she’d start to doubt whether her husband was still “in this” with her. She’d begin to consider acting out on purpose, just to make sure he was still paying attention. Obviously, that’s not a good idea. Still, I can relate. The husband also mentioned something I hadn’t thought of. He said it made him feel more confident and capable that he could hold her accountable, when necessary, if they “maintained” their “dynamic”. I wondered if Adam has struggled with this? Until yesterday, I hadn’t been in serious trouble, in 3 months! I have rolled my eyes, flipped him off, things like that. He hasn’t spanked me in that “I MEAN IT, don’t do that again” kind of way, though. Not for those things. If he does really “mean it”, I haven’t gotten that message. I know he doesn’t like it, when I’m disrespectful in how I act or speak, but it doesn’t come across as the kind of things that get me in serious trouble with him. Even last night, I didn’t feel that he was genuinely that upset with me. The spanking didn’t hurt much at all. While, in the moment, I’m grateful, I think it does send mixed messages. He doesn’t want to be a jerk. I’ve been pretty damn good, for quite awhile. Adam wants to show me he appreciates that. On the other hand, I wind up wondering whether, or not, he was really serious. I tell myself he didn’t care that much. Maybe he was just trying to scare me. I mean, I spent hours wondering and worrying about what he would do, when he came home. When it turns out to be not too big a deal, that’s exactly how I take it. What I did was not that big a deal.
I don’t enjoy making my husband upset. I hate disappointing him. Having his hand leave bruises on my butt, that I can feel for days, that’s not fun. I don’t ever purposely look for that kind of trouble. I think, well…I know, I sometimes intentionally push his “smaller” buttons, though. The ones that I assume are no big deal. Rolling my eyes, for example. I hadn’t thought much about it, until now. I think I need to know he’s still got me. He’s still here. He’s still watching out for me, and for us.
I don’t necessarily think that “maintenance” spanking is for me. I can’t imagine I would respond well, to feeling punished for being good. I always love his playful smacks! I don’t want to get more than that without deserving it, though. I do wonder if a part of me doesn’t act out, because I don’t take him seriously. If I break one of our rules, and walk out of “the office” smiling, I clearly didn’t feel there was very much “bite”, behind Adam’s “bark”.
I don’t mean to suggest that I think Adam’s weak. He’s not! In fact, he is so strong, he is able to control his emotions. He is able to use the “tools” that he knows will actually work on me. He doesn’t raise his voice to me. He isn’t cruel. He’s careful to always remind me he loves me, even when he’s angry. Those things make me respect the hell out of my husband. I just have a hard time knowing exactly where his “line” is, sometimes. Was he goofing around? Was he just enjoying making me worry about whether he was serious, but he wasn’t really? Did he fucking mean it, but he kept his hard hand gentle, because he didn’t want to be a jerk? After all, I had been pretty damn good, lately. I think?
Adam got home, a couple hours ago. He walked right into the kitchen and picked me up. He brought me into our bedroom. I had homemade meatballs cooking, in the oven. I made my grape jelly and BBQ sauce mixture, to pour over them. That’s everyone’s favorite. The mashed potatoes and stuffing I was making to go with, weren’t ready to get started. He wound up getting home at just the right time. In between when I needed to be at the stove.
I wore a little coral sundress, today. I had put Adam’s favorite lotion of mine on, when I knew he’d be about to leave work. I checked my hair. Reapplied some lipgloss. He smiled at me, when he came around the corner. I could tell he wasn’t too upset with me.
When he put me down, in our room, he shut and locked our door. I can’t remember what I said to him? He bent me over our bed, held my hands out of the way, and spanked me. I wore thong panties, under my dress, so he didn’t even have to pull them down. He just lifted my dress, and had perfect access to my behind. It didn’t feel good, but it wasn’t awful. I think I got off even easier, beings it’s been such a long time since he’s seriously spanked me. He asked me a question. One that required a “yes sir” response. I stubbornly pretended not to know he was expecting a “sir”, after the “yes” I gave him. When I could tell he was going to spank me again, if I didn’t answer properly, I gave him his “yes SIR”.
After we left “the office”, I sent Jackie a text. I’d been talking to her about what was going on. The problem was, I accidentally sent that text meant for Jackie, to ADAM!
I intended that first text for Jackie…This was what I ended up sending to Jackie…
That was incredibly stupid of me. Even so, Adam doesn’t seem too bothered. I had my expensive watch band on my Apple Watch, when he’d spanked me. He held my wrists, while he kept my hands out of the way. My watch band had pressed against my wrist, so I wound up with a bruised and sore wrist. Oh well. If that’s the worst of it all, it’s fine by me!
I’m not sure if my friends “Paddlefan” or “AZPop” will see this, but Adam mentioned y’all. When I was arguing with him, he told me to ask y’all. He insisted Paddlefan and AZPop would be on his side of this debate about whether I should be punished, or not… 😜
I lied to Adam, a couple hours ago. Yesterday, I was so heated. I was ready to drive over to this lady’s office and raise hell about the excessive bill she was trying to give us. I talked with Adam about it. I told him I was going to go in there and see what I could do, today. Well, after my calmer head had taken over, I decided my best option would be to send an email to her. I knew if I was actually there, face to face with this chick, I’d punk out. Adam had text me and asked if I’d figured anything out, yet. I told him I’d emailed. I elaborated, by saying that I didn’t know if she’d be in the office anyway, so I emailed instead. He said okay. A few minutes later, I got a phone call from the accountant lady. I wasn’t rude, but I did get answers. I got her to reduce her price by about half. Which, was great! When I text Adam, to let him know, I mentioned that I’d sort of fibbed about why I’d emailed. I told him I knew I should’ve just told him this, in the first place. I really didn’t want to admit I’d lost my nerve. It’s not that easy to confront someone! Especially when you’re not full of anger and frustration, anymore. I can’t quite gauge Adam’s level of seriousness. I know he means it, but maybe not in the “I’m going to be sleeping on my stomach” kind of way? Or, maybe he is pissed? He’s calm and collected, regardless. So, it’s impossible to tell, for sure, what’s coming. For anyone who doesn’t already know, when Adam asks me to “step into his office”, that means I’m fixing to get a spanking. Every once in awhile, it’s just to talk. Most always, I’m going to walk back out with a sore behind. I suspect we won’t simply be discussing this little white lie, tonight.
I haven’t been this kind of nervous, for him to get home from work, since January. It’s been 3 months. I’m ticked off with myself, for ending this streak of awesome.
Bitch I’m a red white and blue collar [girl] from the South…you can fuck around and find out. Come around here runnin’ your mouth…you fuck around and find out. I’m just saying, there’s the line, don’t cross it. We done talkin’. Fuck around and find out.
~Bryan Martin
Yesterday was a rough one. Mj’s best friend, I’ll call her “T”. She’s had a hard childhood. Her mama wasn’t in her life, until recently. Her dad has been a single father, raising her since birth. While I know he loves her, he’s not a great daddy. If he’s not at work, he’s in his garage, chain smoking and drinking. T was at our house most everyday. She ate supper with us most nights. Her and Mj aren’t in the same school, anymore. We don’t get to see her everyday, like we used to. When T was here, a couple weeks ago, we noticed cuts up both of her arms. She had taken a razor blade, and cut into herself. I talked with her. I told her how much we love her. I told her, she can talk to me anytime. I won’t ever repeat things she tells me, unless I’m afraid for her safety. I offered to help her reach out and ask for help. I talked to her dad. He, clearly, did nothing. He called me in tears, yesterday afternoon. He told me T was with social services. She had tried to hang herself. T had tied a bunch of string together, wrapped it around her neck, and attempted to end her life. That absolutely shatters me. I’m also livid. Her dad claimed they wouldn’t tell him anything. He called me from his garage. I could hear the beer cans being opened. I could tell he was lighting up cigarette after cigarette. If that was my baby, I’d be up there beating down doors and begging to see my daughter. I’d be desperately searching for help for her. I’d be asking so many questions, trying to figure out what I could do for her. He got drunk.
T called me, last night. We had a long talk. I don’t know what I can do, but I so badly want to help that little girl. Adam and I, Wyatt and Mj, we love T like family.
Today, someone else pissed me off. Compared to the situation with T, it’s nothing. But, I have had my fill of tolerating idiots and assholes. I do our taxes every year. This year, I had done everything, put all the numbers into the forms, and come up with a final number. It was way different than what I’d anticipated. Adam and I talked about it, and decided to have an accountant look over everything. We just wanted to double check I’d done everything correctly. I brought everything I’d done to her, last week. She told me she’d have it looked at, by that same evening. It took several days, and several messages and phone calls from me, before she finally bothered to call me back. This morning, she informed me that my figures are correct. Then, she tried to charge me $425. $425 to LOOK OVER my own paperwork?! We have paid less than half of that amount, to have our old accountant do ALL the paperwork. I’d learned what I was doing, a few years back, and been doing it myself. I told this lady, it took me 7 minutes and 19 seconds to plug these numbers into the same system she did. That’s literally all she did, too. She couldn’t answer my questions. She’s been dodging me for days. Uhh, no. I’m not having it today. I haven’t said anything to her, yet. I was so angry, I needed time to cool off. I haven’t even talked to Adam about it. Maybe I’m making too big a deal out of it? I just get so sick and tired of people assuming they can price gauge me, and overcharge for things, as if I’m too stupid to notice or care. If I drive up in my cush SUV, or hand over paperwork showing our income, and someone assumes I’m not intelligent with money, that sets me off. The nice things we have are because we know the value of things, and chose to spend our money on them. The value of the work this lady did is absolutely not what she’s trying to charge. She did our friends taxes, start to finish, for $80. Their taxes were no less complicated than ours, either. Ours ain’t even that difficult! I only wanted to make certain I was right with my figuring. Anyhow, I’m a little turnt up, this afternoon.
To add to all this, Adam told me his elbow has been hurting real bad. He says it’s been a few weeks, and not gotten better. He never said a thing to me, until a couple nights ago. He doesn’t complain, especially about pain. He’s had this issue before. Playing high school, and then college football, did take its toll on his body. He had to have surgery, last time this happened. He’s worried he’s going to wind up needing surgery again. I told him he needs to go see the doctor! He refused. He insists we wait it out longer, to see if it won’t feel better. He’s worried about his work, if he has to go through all the crap he did the last time his elbow felt like this. It’s several weeks of rest and then rehab. He had no problem, whatsoever, picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder. He’s been able to swing his hand down onto my behind, just fine. So, I can’t know whether he’s being a tough guy, and ignoring pain? Or, maybe he’s paranoid about a pain that will end up being no big deal?
It’s not the day to piss me off. I’m not grouchy. I’m just not in any mood to be dealing with anymore bull crap. It’s gorgeous out. I’m playing music, and writing here. I need to call and tell Adam about my “accountant” frustrations. I wanted to find a better attitude before I talked to him, though. I suppose I’ll get it over with. Maybe. I don’t know? We’ll see. I might wait til he’s home, this evening.
Chronicles in Submission 